Fucking Plenty of Fish

[Leaffan]

God. Look, if you want to meet me send an actual God damned message. Clicking on “wants to meet you” makes you about as interesting as you probably are, and it’s no wonder you’re lonely and single at this point.

I’m two plus years into a separation and am about to put a stake in the heart of that shit.

I have better aspirations than just “wants to meet you.” Why? Why do you want to meet me? And for Christ’s sake, if I take the time to send you a message could you at least fucking respond?

I signed up on this thing months ago and within two days blocked my profile because, well basically people are jerks. I just unblocked and tried again. I might “might” meet up with one lady after negotiations that the UN would find baffling. I really don’t think I’m hideous in any manner, yet POF has been a POS.

I’m not looking for a neurosurgeon or an MMA superstar, just a normal gal with a brain and a sense of humour. Is that too much to ask? Apparently.

[Leaffan]

And why is it that some people my age (53) look like they’re about fucking 70?

[ThelmaLou]

Look at it this way: these people are self-qualifying (or dis-qualifying). IOW, they are eliminating themselves from consideration so you don’t have to expend the energy. The one(s) you’re looking for will stand out from the group. There’s at least one really smart, attractive, funny, literate, kind woman on POF. I know that for a fact.

[ThelmaLou]

Oddly, after posting that, I started reading Edith Wharton’s The Children (1928) on my kindle, and these are the opening paragraphs:

As the big liner hung over the tugs swarming about her in the bay of Algiers, Martin Boyne looked down from the promenade deck on the troop of first-class passengers struggling up the gangway, their faces all unconsciously lifted to his inspection.

“Not a soul I shall want to speak to — as usual!”

Some men’s luck in travelling was inconceivable. They had only to get into a train or on board a boat to run across an old friend; or, what was more exciting, make a new one. They were always finding themselves in the same compartment, or in the same cabin, with some wandering celebrity, with the owner of a famous house, of a noted collection, or of an odd and amusing personality — the latter case being, of course, the rarest as it was the most rewarding.

Meeting interesting people is not a new problem.

[Leaffan]

@ThelmaLou

Look at it this way: these people are self-qualifying (or dis-qualifying). IOW, they are eliminating themselves from consideration so you don’t have to expend the energy. The one(s) you’re looking for will stand out from the group. There’s at least one really smart, attractive, funny, literate, kind woman on POF. I know that for a fact.

Move to Ontario.

[Kamino_Neko]

I was expecting this thread to be written by Troy McClure.

[Leaffan]

@Kamino_Neko

I was expecting this thread to be written by Troy McClure.

I thought he slept with the fishes?
ETA: I get it.

[Slow_Moving_Vehicle]

Well, Leaffan, you’re giving out mixed signals. Do you want to meet a woman, or fuck a fish? No wonder that poor woman was unsure about meeting you.

[Leaffan]

@Slow_Moving_Vehicle

Well, Leaffan, you’re giving out mixed signals. Do you want to meet a woman, or fuck a fish? No wonder that poor woman was unsure about meeting you.

Carp Diem.

[actualliberalnotoneofthose]

@Leaffan

And for Christ’s sake, if I take the time to send you a message could you at least fucking respond?

You lost me here. I don’t really get that expectation and you seem way too dependent on the outcome to get the benefit of online dating, IMHO.

If you are spending a lot of time sending an initial message, you are wasting your time. Try less filtering, more short messages, and keep your own info fairly basic. FWIW, when I was separated I got nothing off POF but an avg of around 5 legit offers of dates per day on OKcupid. That was 5 years ago, though.

[mhendo]

@actualliberalnotoneofthose

You lost me here. I don’t really get that expectation and you seem way too dependent on the outcome to get the benefit of online dating, IMHO.

If you are spending a lot of time sending an initial message, you are wasting your time.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

If i understand the OP correctly, he is sending messages to women who click the “Wants to meet you” button. If someone clicks on your “Wants to meet you” button, it seems to me that the perfectly logical next step is to send the person a fucking message. God forbid you actually engage in some communication that requires more than a single click!

[Leaffan]

@mhendo

This is absolutely ridiculous.

If i understand the OP correctly, he is sending messages to women who click the “Wants to meet you” button. If someone clicks on your “Wants to meet you” button, it seems to me that the perfectly logical next step is to send the person a fucking message. God forbid you actually engage in some communication that requires more than a single click!

That’s pretty much it, although not all messages I send are spawned by “wants to meet you” clicks; some are just run-of-the-mill messages sent with good intention and then no response, or worse, a response and then absolutely zero follow-up.

Ah well. Perseverance will pay off, or maybe not. Perhaps there are Plenty Of Flakes on Plenty Of Fish. I’m thinking THIS would be a better dating site than POF.

At least people here are somewhat intelligent. Can you imagine having spelling and grammar issues in your POF profile? I run fast from those. Holy shit.

The ubiquitous “your” when you really meant “you’re” is a definite non-starter. You could look like Marilyn Monroe and I won’t respond to that. I don’t want any religion either. If you’re religious, then forget about it.

See. I’m at that stage in life where I know what I want, and I’m not going to settle. I settled once before. It ain’t happening again. Sorry. But you could at least ANSWER me!

[Ethilrist]

@Kamino_Neko

I was expecting this thread to be written by Troy McClure.

I was expecting it to be about this week’s Facebook feed, and the Feast of Seven Fishes. Good god, people, enough’s enough. Go drink something already.

[Leaffan]

@Ethilrist

I was expecting it to be about this week’s Facebook feed, and the Feast of Seven Fishes. Good god, people, enough’s enough. Go drink something already.

That’s the plan. Glad to see your important contribution here, killjoy.

[Shagnasty]

Hi, how are you?

[Shagnasty]

POF just doesn’t work as far as I can tell if you have any standards at all. It has some weird algorithm for matching that causes crazy people to flock to you within the next few hours if you even log in. I have never met a single person from it and don’t plan to but the mostly incoherent messages keep coming. It think its niche is a dating site for homeless people and the mentally ill.

Match.com is much better in my experience because the women have to pony up real money to be on it and it is important to know that they have some skin in the game. That doesn’t mean it is all sunshine and roses but I have gotten a whole lot of quality dates from Match.com. I just let them come to me and select the ones that I want. Drop $20 a month or whatever deal you can find on a real site and steer far away from POF. Even OkCupid is better than that.

[John_DiFool]

@Slow_Moving_Vehicle

Well, Leaffan, you’re giving out mixed signals. Do you want to meet a woman, or fuck a fish? No wonder that poor woman was unsure about meeting you.

They probably mistake him for a groper.

[jerry_smissingfinger]

I know someone who married the dude she met on POF. They talked for 2 years before meeting. So far it’s been a good match. 6 years and goin

[Leaffan]

@Shagnasty

POF just doesn’t work as far as I can tell if you have any standards at all. It has some weird algorithm for matching that causes crazy people to flock to you within the next few hours if you even log in. I have never met a single person from it and don’t plan to but the mostly incoherent messages keep coming. It think its niche is a dating site for homeless people and the mentally ill.

Match.com is much better in my experience because the women have to pony up real money to be on it and it is important to know that they have some skin in the game. That doesn’t mean it is all sunshine and roses but I have gotten a whole lot of quality dates from Match.com. I just let them come to me and select the ones that I want. Drop $20 a month or whatever deal you can find on a real site and steer far away from POF. Even OkCupid is better than that.

That’s probably a good plan. A buddy at work recommended POF, but he has a neck tattoo.

[Leaffan]

And what’s with people with no pictures. I just got the “wants to meet” message from someone with no public picture. How ugly are you if you can’t share a few pictures? I’m not responding to that shit at all.