Fucking Plenty of Fish

I wish I could assure you both that a diminished interest in sex was common with men on the dating sites. IME, and the experience of my girlfriends, this is simply not the case. I’m 58 and was dating men slightly older and slightly younger than me. To a man, sex was at the top of their list. A couple even told me that they were looking to make up for all they “lost out on” by marrying young. It was very off-putting to me. I am more than my “plumbing” but that plumbing was by far what mattered most to them. Needless to say, those encounters didn’t go very far. It is a big part of why I gave up online dating.

I don’t have a problem; I was hoping to explain to the OP why he doesn’t get replies sometimes, which he feels is rude when he’s taken the time to send a message.

It seems to me that since sexual frequency is such an important factor in compatibility, a good dating site should allow you to filter on that criterion. You should be able to screen out anyone who wants more sex than you’re prepared to offer.

Ugh! Great :frowning: See I’m not trying to make up for anything. I’ve had plenty. But after my last relationship I chose to stay single for awhile and concentrate on other things. I haven’t “been” with a man for about 6 years.

Once i try online dating, i guess i will have to weed out the 99% who hope to get a little something on the first date. I just can’t get my mojo in gear for someone I barely know.

Leaffan, maybe if you get to know the right woman, you might suddenly desire sex more than once a month, eh? I’m hoping that’s the case for me.

Don’t these lecherous, old horn dogs ever learn how to turn a woman on? Sending dick pics ain’t it.

And I’m seconding that: when he doesn’t get a reply, that’s normal dating site behavior. He shouldn’t take it personally. When people don’t reply, they are NOT being rude. (Nor should you take my lengthy post personally–I took the opportunity to share with everyone my sense of what internet dating is all about.)

Thanks for clarifying; using you rather than they or one left the intended subject confusing.
If anyone’s interested, this Instagramposts user-submitted screencaps of how men reacted to these women’s rejection or disinterest. One may or may not agree the responses were undeserved or over-the-top but the posts and comments are eye-opening either way and will hopefully lead to better communication someday.

Wait… when did this thread get hijacked away from fucking fish?

Actually, you don’t fuck fish, you only sleep with them.

You replied to my post !!!

What is your favorite movie?
Where was your last vacation?
Do you have any hobbies?
If you could be any animal, which one would it be?

Well, they are pretty darn cuddly…

Well, I’ve been trying online dating for longer than I care to think about. Occasionally I’ve gotten a nice thanks-but-no-thanks kind of reply and I’ve never gotten belligerent on tried to pressure them. I can’t say that approach works any better.

Story of my life… they just want to be friends and cuddle.

Well, maybe rude and maybe not.

If I send you a message that basically says “Hi there” or it is the kind of site where I “like” your “ad” I don’t really expect a response.

On the OTHER hand, if I’ve actually taken the time read your “ad” and my reply reads something like the following:

Hi there Sally.

I see you like the great outdoors. I love fishing, hiking, and camping myself and am out almost every weekend. I also note you like cooking. While I am not much of cook myself I do like watching all those cooking shows and I think trying out all that fancy stuff would be a nice way to spend and evening and enjoy a meal. Apparently we will have to agree to disagree that the second Star Wars movie is better than the first though :slight_smile:

And insert a bunch more stuff about her “ad” and our basic compatibility.

If she responds with a “thanks but no thanks” after reading my message and/or “ad” no harm no foul. Or something along the lines of “hey, I am currently getting serious about someone else I just meet here and it wouldn’t be fair blah blah blah”. Or even a “I’m sorry, I forgot to take that ad down”.

All those will get a “thank you, get back in touch someday if your the situation changes” sort of response.

But if I get absolutely nothing from you then months later a perky “Hi there Mr TallandHansome”…

Well, I’m going to tell you to go fuck yourself because I ain’t doing it.

This isn’t exchanging holiday cards b/c the social contract says you’re supposed to do so in order to keep getting cards in your social circle. This is - ‘I’m interested in you romantically. If you’re interested in me romantically, respond.’
No response, they’re not interested. You move on as the same person you were, their disinterest took nothing from you.

If I were to stumble across a forgotten message weeks/months later and reply, only to be told to go fuck myself I would thank every power in the Universe for a clear warning of a man whose feeling of entitlement caused him to overreact to such an extent over his bruised ego.

Well if someone is too stupid to read messages for a month (AND responding like they didn’t notice that was the case) or thinks a “thanks but no thanks” response to a message that obviously wasn’t canned spam and actually ADDRESSES the important parts of the "ad"is some upper crust form of entitlement…well, I guess we both dodged a bullet eh?

As a man you have to get used to the idea that it’s up to you to initiate contact 90% of the time. The few times you get contacted directly it’s normally from women who’s assets are not readily apparent. And you can’t take it personal when you don’t get an answer back. I only tried match and on my first date I started a 5 year relationship. Now that’s over I just went on another one that might be the start of another one. But I’m a catch.

Ohh, back to the OP.

IIRC when I used POF two things actually worked for me. At least in the sense I actually got responses.

The first, I kid you not, is when I said I was crazy. And not “ha ha we had a crazy time” crazy. An honest to goodness “I need to take my meds crazy but am otherwise an ok guy crazy”.

I’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader if responding to those responses is actually a good idea or not.

The other one was were I laid out clues where they (the wimen) could actually figure out my REAL email address and contact me directly.

You know the old adage.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to fuck fish and he’ll starve to death in a month.

heh :slight_smile:

Especially codfish. They love
coddling.