Fucking Plenty of Fish

Well, come on over to Ontario! Maybe we could meet half way in Winnipeg!

I jest, of course. Oregon sounds lovely. I’ve been to Vancouver and southern California, but not Oregon. I think I’d like it…

If Donald Trump becomes president, I will be looking to move to Canada. I’m more of a once-a-day kind of gal, but maybe we could work something out.

I’ll sponsor you if Trump wins. :slight_smile: And jayrey too. We’ll figure something out. :smiley:

nm

Ignore me if what you said was in jest, but it ain’t that easy. You typically need particular in-demand job skills plus a good story (preferably from a sponsoring employer) why you should get the job over a qualified Canadian:

and I don’t think they’ll be granting asylum to people just because they don’t like the guy who won the election.

And yes, they’re hard-asses about this. Most of my trips into Canada in the past have been to Oakville for work-related meetings, and I always got a lot more intensive interviews from the CBSA agents 'cos they wanted to be damn sure and satisified that I wasn’t coming in to work w/o a work visa.

No, I will be moving to Canada to live with my new husband, Leaffan, and his friend jayrey. Perfectly legit.

why not try this, seriously? not on the street (which would be creepy) but somewhere people actually talk to each other.

wild idea, I know.

:stuck_out_tongue:

oh, and sex once a month will be fine, thank you

Find your own Canadian, Alice the Goon! This one is MINE.

See Post 68.

You guys are making me blush.

In my online dating days I found a ‘No thank you.’ message of mine was nearly always met w/, ‘But why not?’ or some form of insult or threat from the men I was responding to. The pressure to be nice to men who paid attention to me went from common courtesy to potentially bad for me.
You know you’re a decent fellow but the woman who’s been called a variety of ugly names or threatened w/ a corrective rape for not validating a man’s interest doesn’t know that about you.
Do you have Meetupin your area?

Doesn’t appear to be.

“Pressure”?? From total strangers? People you’ve never met and whose real names you don’t know? People who cannot contact you without your active participation by clicking on their message? It is impossible for there to be any “pressure” on you from such a source, unless they know where you live and/or are holding your dog hostage.

That pressure isn’t coming from nameless, faceless strangers. The pressure is from voices inside your own Nice Girl head. No one out there can pressure you.

Here’s the thing-- use this model: internet dating is like catalog shopping from both directions at once. You are looking through the catalog, and so are all the other people. The etiquette is not the same as IRL. If someone contacts you, and you are not interested, do not reply. This is NOT rude. This is NOT like ignoring someone who is speaking to you in person. When someone on a dating site contacts you through the internet, it is like a stranger with very detailed caller id calling you on the phone. You do not have to answer the call. In fact, I think it’s more rude to “answer the call” and say, “I don’t want to talk to you,” than it is to simply “let the phone ring.”

If you feel you MUST reply with, “No, thank you,” (which any red-blooded man is going to take as a challenge), and you get another reply, for God’s sake, do the man a favor, and ignore that one. If you let the exchange go on to the point where you have “been called a variety of ugly names or threatened w/ a corrective rape,” then my question is, “what are you trying to prove by continuing to interact with these men?”

If a guy you don’t know calls out to you on the street, do you stop and engage in a lengthy conversation about how and why you don’t want to get to know him? (If a guy calls out to you on the street and you DO want to get to know him, then by all means, stop and talk.)

Look at internet dating as catalog shopping. Online dating is a way of seeing the faces and profiles of hundreds and possibly thousands of people whom you would never meet in person. Who knows why this person catches your eye and that one doesn’t? Who knows why you catch some guy’s eye but not another’s? But there has to be mutual interest for a conversation to begin. If there is No Mutual Interest, then do not begin the conversation. Period. This is not rude. This is not rejection.

You look through catalogs and stop when some combination of appearance, price, style, and the sense that this would fit into my life strikes you. Meanwhile the catalog item is looking you over with the same things in mind. If there’s a match, great. Communicate. If not, move on without a word. If you don’t want to be in touch with that person, do not click into their messages. It’s that simple. No harm. No foul. No problem.

I’ve heard other women say this too, a ‘no thanks’ response to a guy you aren’t interested in tends to open the door to the guy either trying to pressure you to change your mind, or him becoming belligerent.

because some guys’ dating skills never progressed past adolescence.

Or maybe ThelmaLou is right, and an entirely different set of social rules apply, so if someone writes back, even if the message is “no thanks”, it means “I have some interest”. Dunno.

YES! It’s like when women get phone calls from men they’re not interested in. And you’ll hear a woman say, “I keep calling him and telling him to stop calling me!” DUH. Calling him is contact. If you want NO contact then do not have any contact. It’s very simple.

To simply refrain from replying to an internet dating wink/email (whatever the site calls it) is not rude and it is not rejection. However, to reply and say “No, thanks, not interested”-- that IS blatant rejection and it will feel like a challenge to the person on the receiving end. So don’t do that. Only reply to people with whom you want further contact. A reply of any sort sends the message that you **do **want contact. Why? Because the reply **IS **contact.

Leaffan, I’m almost 52 years old and looking to get back into the dating world. I feel like my sexual desire has lessened and was a bit concerned about trying to keep up a 2 or 3 time a week romp.

Seems like when I browse some of these dating site, the men portray themselves as highly sexual and that intimidates me.

Thanks for admitting that once a month is plenty for you. That sounds about right for me too. Maybe that is more common than we think.

Good luck out there!

sounds like we need a poll…

Good Luck, Leaffan.

Its a cold, hard, shallow world out there you’re stepping into. It has no shortage of psychopathic asshats in it either (many with zero standing or claim to your relationship status and who are just trying to trip you up for their own neurotic lulz).

Chin Up & Best Wishes!