It was a nearly-new jar, only a couple of months old. Which is nearly-new in Vegemite terms, if you get what I mean. Unless you’ve got a tribe of kids in the house, a single Vegemite jar can last for freakin’ years.
And without starting yet another Vegemite vs Marmite and Promite debate, let’s just agree that the latter are shit and Vegemite is God’s invention to make life more worth living.
I’ve taken to buying their Pana de Casa ROLLS which they will actually slice for you. Four bits in the toaster at a time and it’s gone before it goes stale! Eggselent for garlic bread and bruschettas too, if there’s any left after Vegemite toasties.
That is a seriously good idea! Hey, even a Doper Theme Park has some merits as well ThelmaLou…you can head the feasability-study committee, OK?
Anyway, after putting in my formal complaint yesterday I suggested we install CCTV cameras in the kitchen to find the thief (and also to demask the shithead/s who leave the fridge door open, the lid off the coffee tin and those who put their coffee spoon into the sugar bowl leaving little brown coffee turds for unsuspecting tea drinkers). Alas, TPTB felt my idea was a wee bit of overkill. I betcha if it was* their* Vegemite, they’d think differently.
All these endorsements, it must be remembered, tend to come from people who live in a place where the spiders eat their dogs, and they don’t take the opportunity to move to Devil’s Island or Odessa, Texas.
But seriously. I’m a Vegemite Virgin. So, let’s say I can procure a tub/jar/flask of this substance… please give me detailed instructions on the preparation and ingestion of same. Detailed. I feel like I’m missing out. I’m not getting any younger and I’ve already missed out on so much.
Well, I’m sure someone more experienced will come along shortly to help you out with more details. But, as someone who was a vegemite virgin up until a week ago, here’s what I found/was told by genuine Australians:
Toast bread.
Spread butter on bread.
Spread vegemite over bread VERY thinly. Apparently, this is where most of us neophytes mess up… we spread on way too much of the stuff and it overpowers. So, very thin layer of vegemite.
My findings: it was… interesting. I’m not going to say I LOVED it or anything, but I didn’t spit it out, either. I’d eat it again.
Better:
3) Spread Vegemite on bread
4) Scrape it off again.
Do not think “that’s not enough - I won’t taste that”. You will. Usually however little you take out of the jar on your knife, you should be scraping most of it back off on the rim when you’re done. Expect to end up with brown speckly bits on the butter rather than a thin coating.
With that said, look at Vegemite as a condiment to thickly-buttered toast, not a spread. It works with the dairy flavours.
Sorry for your loss. I love Vegemite. So much I entered that best jobs in the world thing for the photographer position. I would have won too but I didn’t have any talent.
I can pretty much eat the stuff out of the jar with a spoon. A spoon made of more Vegemite.
but I can’t afford Vegemite over here much, so I rarely get it. And Australia wont let me move there without winning a contest or something.
Whoever pilfered Kambuckta’s prandial spread must have quite the proverbial dangly parts, since it’s a well-known fact that stealing another man’s Vegemite is a bootable offence in Australia.
I’m also required to mention at this point that (New Zealand) Marmite is the far superior yeast spread, with Promite as an acceptable subsitute during the thankfully concluded [del]late unpleasantness[/del] Great Marmite Shortage of 2012/2013.
And I know I say this literally every time we have these threads, but NZ Marmite and British Marmite (AKA “Our Mate” or “Bok Mate”) have practically nothing in common besides being a dark-coloured yeast spread.
This helps. So one ought to think of VM the way you do salt, for instance. You *sprinkle *salt on stuff; you don’t spread on a thick coating. Sometimes I do sprinkle a bit of salt on my buttered toast.
Well yes, but it’s not as if you’re proud of them.
This illustrates the Vegemite quantitative problem that so many furriners struggle with. In 99% of cases where initial impressions are that the Vegemite jar is empty there is actually ample to complete the toast.
It also cuts down your search for a culprit. No self-respecting Aussie bloke (nor blokette for that matter) will remove anything from the fridge simply because the jar is empty or the contents have gone mouldy.
This unidentified bastard hasn’t stolen the jar, they have disposed of the jar under the delusion the contents represent a health hazard. You should concentrate your search on recent immigrants or those who wear colour co-ordinates. This person probably volunteers to be the office fire warden or first aid officer. They are a sad, twisted goody two shoes and your office would be a better workplace if they were publicly tarred and feathered.
Just to confirm, thesethreephotos have it about right. That last one might be a bit concentrated in bits, but the total amount’s close to what you’re after.
