Fucking Vodka.

The BBQ Pit
1

I hate vodka.

It’s ruined Russians for centuries, and it fucked me up last night.

I went to a punk show that my roommate’s sister’s boyfriend was playing at, and they were serving jungle juice. I, being the dumbass that I am, decided that 1 or 2 cups wasn’t enough and had 4 or 5. I remember dancing upstairs and singing with my roommate and her sister. I remember peeing with my roommate next to me, then all of a sudden our boyfriends are there, and then we’re on our street and it looks endless, and I’m screaming at her boyfriend to slow down, and then I’m in my bathroom puking and screaming because the room is spinning and my heart is pounding so hard. Then all of a sudden I have my pillow against my face, and I’m puking on it. Then I woke up this morning, and I was still drunk and puked again.

I have had exactly three hangovers in my life. THREE. All of them occured after I got fucked up on vodka. The combined effort of my German stomach and Irish liver to rid my body of booze would make my ancestors proud. I can drink gin - my drink of choice - until the cows come home and only get a pleasant buzz. But the minute that third or so shot of vodka hits my throat, I’m a bumbling, spewing moron.

So fuck you, vodka. I ain’t touching y’all no more.

2

I say that about once a week.

3

How many times do I have to say it? Vodka doesn’t get people stimking drunk. People get people stinking drunk.

Anti-vodkite.

::grumble, grumble::

4

There’s only one thing you can do if you find yourself in possesion of vodka:

Use it for winshield washer fluid.

Either that, or give it to someone you hate.

5

Damn, beat me to it.

I can drink any amount of anything and wake up the next morning fresh as a daisy. If I have even one vodka drink I spend the next day around the toilet.

(A prempted you’re welcome for that image of my in the bathroom)

6

Why are you fucking the vodka instead of drinking it?
:d & r:

7

I’m taking this personally.

8

Newsflash: It’s the ethanol.

QtM, MD

9

And this coming from someone named tsarina?

I like vodka, but that in combination with Red Bull[sup]TM[/sup] seems fun, but is really a Bad Thing.

10

I feel the same way about Tequila.

Vodka, on the other hand, I can drink all night long.

11

Don’t like vodka? Give it to me. 'Tis my drink of choice (mixed with some white cranberry juice - 1/5 vodka, 4/5 juice - is absolutely delicious).

After that, gin, and then rum and whiskey, and… well… then it just gets in the realm of “If it makes me drunk, I’ll drink it”. Except Tecate beer. That stuff is absolute shit.