Fuckwits who don't RSVP

[Hazle_Weatherfield]

Thanks, everyone! Sorry it’s taken so long to get back in on this. It won’t be a very organized reply, I’m afraid, because I’m just trying to respond in general in answer to the most common replies or questions.

To clarify, (hopefully) we e-mailed a Yahoo card to 18 people. It wasn’t like a mass-mailing to everyone in my address book. It did please 12 folks to respondez (sp?) We knew that everyone had received the e-card because Yahoo sends a message when the card has been viewed.

I didn’t mean to seem like a bitch re: the daughter showing up. It would absolutely have been no problem for her to come along. We love the girl! The parents did not want her along…there had been a major tiff with her before they came over. My only problem with them was that (as they did, indeed show up sans any accidents/psychos story) there was no reason they couldnt’ve called on the old cell phone.

Believe me, this whole incident in no way ruined my party or affected my mood or anyone else’s for that matter. That’s why I brought it to the pit. I had a blast at the party and the appetizers were eaten later…no biggie.

Also, we live in an apartment. If it had been just snacks and drinks 12-18 people could’ve showed up, no RSVPs expected. However, if we’re expecting more than 10 people for a sit down dinner, we’ll need to rent a table and extra chairs.

Since I was a little kid, I always felt that the “if you please” part of RSVP was a formality and that it was understood to mean “this requires a yes or no reply on your part.”

We don’t make corned beef and cabbage and boxty because we’re trying to pretend we’re Irish once a year. I can’t stand CB & C (not a meat eater), but my husband is a great cook and makes it well. I think it’s festive to follow the theme of the holiday with food. My step-daughter-in-law suggested the website where I got the recipes, so I was pretty confident in the authenticy department.

Boxty = potato cakes made of up half mashed, half raw (grated) potatoes, eggs and flour. They can be served with sour cream or as a sweet dish (served with some type of jam, maybe?) HINT: DO NOT grate the potatoes until the minute before you’re going to use them. They turn faster than guacamole w/out lemon juice!

Thanks to those of you who supported my frustration. Thanks also to those who didn’t (except the snarky ones) because it made me think about why I feel the way I do.

Anyway, that was my first PIT, so that’s gotta count for something right?

Best,
HW

[Freddy_the_Pig]

@Hazle Weatherfield

To clarify, (hopefully) we e-mailed a Yahoo card to 18 people. It wasn’t like a mass-mailing to everyone in my address book. It did please 12 folks to respondez (sp?) We knew that everyone had received the e-card because Yahoo sends a message when the card has been viewed.

You still haven’t told us whether the people who didn’t RSVP showed up or not.

Failing to RSVP and not showing up is rude, and I wouldn’t do it myself, but it happens and I’d rank it as a venial sin. Most likely the recipient read the invite and wasn’t sure whether they could come or not. Later, when they realized they couldn’t, they forgot about it.

On the other hand, failing to RSVP and showing up, for anything more elaborate than a beer and TV (and sometimes even for that), is egregious. You can ensure that nobody does this to you more than once, by not inviting them the second time.

[Cat_Whisperer]

I live in a world where if I say I will be somewhere at a certain time and things happen that prevent that, I feel an obligation to let the people waiting on me know. I expect the same from other people. I would have had the same response as Hazle to the tardy guests bringing the appetizers - you don’t know my phone number? You couldn’t be bothered to let me know you’re running 45 minutes late, with the course that is to be served first? While everyone else waits to eat?

I wouldn’t have ended a friendship over it or anything, but that is the last time I ask them for anything time-dependent (including a sit-down dinner).

As for the non-RSVP’ers, it sounds like the attitude is, “I’ll show up or not; depends how I feel that day.” How would you like it if, as the party host, my attitude is, “I’ll host the party or not that day, depending on how I feel, but I won’t let any of you know until you show up at my door, and I either let you in or send you away?”

[Dinsdale]

@wring

On the scale of social no-no’s, the following are things I would consider rude:

…

2. Showing up late w/o calling to a pre-arranged meeting (especially if you’re bringing something)

But what if they CAN’T be on time because their brains are broken! Didja ever think of that?

[Hazle_Weatherfield]

@Freddy the Pig

You still haven’t told us whether the people who didn’t RSVP showed up or not.

Failing to RSVP and not showing up is rude, and I wouldn’t do it myself, but it happens and I’d rank it as a venial sin. Most likely the recipient read the invite and wasn’t sure whether they could come or not. Later, when they realized they couldn’t, they forgot about it.

On the other hand, failing to RSVP and showing up, for anything more elaborate than a beer and TV (and sometimes even for that), is egregious. You can ensure that nobody does this to you more than once, by not inviting them the second time.

Sorry! The people that didn’t RSVP didn’t show up. I assumed that this would be the case; however, to me, the point of requesting that people RSVP is so that one doesn’t have to assume anything.

[wring]

@Dinsdale

But what if they CAN’T be on time because their brains are broken! Didja ever think of that?

think of that? hell, I was married to that. once.