The mailman and I just scared the hell out of eachother. He was putting a package on the back porch, and for some reason even the dog didn’t know he was there. I opened the backdoor and AAAHH! :eek: We both jumped and then started laughing. Then the dog started barking.
One time, when the UPS guy needed me to sign for a package, he was handing me the clipboard and I stepped out onto the porch so the cat wouldn’t get out. But when I got out there, the guy was standing out in the yard and the clipboard was on the porch. I signed it, and leaned over so he could reach it. Then I remembered, right before I stepped outside, I had looked down at the cat and said “get back”. UPS guy thought I was talking to him!
Then there was the time I lactated in front of a very embarrassed ups guy. The weight of the package combined with the way I was squishing my boobs between my arms when I held it, caused breast milk to soak the front of my shirt.
Three weeks ago, we were having trouble with our electricity. It would flicker. I called the electric company and asked them to check it. I also gave them instructions to NOT go to the door as Mrs. fireman works nights and sleeps days. I told them I would call for the report.
Well, the service man didn’t get the message, so he beat on the door until the Mrs got up and answered. He apparantly took several minutes explaining the situation. Mrs. fireman then went back to bed. It wasn’t until I got home from work and she got up that she remembered she sleeps in the nude. :eek:
No wonder it took the guy so long to explain that he didn’t find any problems.
When my son was little, he’d let anyone who knocked on our door in the house. I used to clean house wearing a sport bra and shorts, one day I came down stairs and the FedEx guy was there in my living room waiting for me to sign for a package.
Another time, when I was pregnant with miskid3 I was in the bathroom with alldaysickness when I heard a knock at the door. My son then 4 answered and said very loudly “my mom is in the bathroom throwing up”. As soon as I was able to get up, I found a garbage man in my kitchen. He was dropping off a dumpster for us as we were remodeling. I don’t know why he didn’t just tell my son he was leaving the dumpster instead of waiting for me to finsh and then telling me.
Oh, OK, I’ll admit it - I had sex with the postman. Quite a few times.
(He also happens to be my husband!)
One day as I was leaving the house on a Saturday, he happened to be walking on the sidewalk on the way to our house to deliver the mail. I met him, said hi, smooched him quickly, and headed off to the store. After he got back from work, he said that an elderly and fairly solitary neighbor across the street and a couple houses down saw him kiss me, and told him off about how he shouldn’t be kissing his “girlfriend” while at work and in public, with the obvious implication in her phrasing that I was his mistress. He explained to her how we were married, and that he had been, in fact, her neighbor for the past two years. He said that left her in the kind of state where you’re riled up over something but even though you realize you don’t have a leg to stand on, you still want to be mad. “Well… but still…”
I’m a part time professional magician. As such, I like to have fun with store clerks when I am paying for something and they are not busy. Usually the way it goes is they give me the amount. I pay either by credit card or cash, then I pull out this dollar bill that has been grossly miscut so that the 4 corners with the 1’s on them are showing in the center of the bill. I show it to them and say, “I guess I can’t very well use this one, can I?” with a completely straight face. The reaction I get is priceless and it usually makes their day.
I wish. I delivered pizza for 4 years in high school. Either the whole flashing/boning the pizza guy thing is a myth or I lived in a really prudish town because I refuse to believe that I wasn’t on the upper-end of the hotness scale for pizza guys .
You’re welcome. I had a good laugh also. It seems that when she thought about it some more, she realized that the UPS guy has, for the last year, knocked for every delivery, whether signature required or not. I think I need to change shifts. Or get a delivery job.
I signed it, and leaned over so he could reach it. Then I remembered, right before I stepped outside, I had looked down at the cat and said “get back”. UPS guy thought I was talking to him!
