Funeral for a Friend

I am gathered here tonight to lay claim to my loss. It has been several months since you left me, my sister, and I am still running up against the fact that you’re gone in the course of my day to day life. A small fraction of a lyric from a song catches my ear……a familiar shadow casts itself just beyond my vision……a whiff of your perfume inflames my senses before revealing itself to be nothing more than a ghost upon my memory. These are the components of my daily life. In no way does it consume me……but it’s always there. You were ripped so rudely from my brotherly love that I yet pick at the scarcely healed wound. This is one scab that will not heal; indeed it cannot, for there is no resolution. There was no reason. Why my love, why? I, and others, gave you so much. In the end you gave us more, and we are better for it, yet…you left. I know we did nothing but love you, and this was turned against us. I cannot help but feel that you are lesser for it, but in a nice little role reversal, so are we. Will it ever turn around? In a just world, perhaps. We do not live in a just world. You’re gone, and I will mourn that fact all my days. The sad thing is I bet a part of you does too. Wind beneath your wings, my sad little falcon. In the end,……… it’s all I can wish for, and it’s not nearly enough. Damn.

touching. very touching.

Amen, Dave. Amen.

To the light the night, illuminate the loss…and maybe mark a pathway back…

I dreamt of you the other night, dear friend, in the midst of my other recent losses, I saw you there too–ghostlike, distant–even in that netherworld where we can hope to meet up and embrace those lost to us, remembering times and hearts shared. I awoke saddened that my heart knew you were gone.

When first you departed, I thought it at your own hand, mind and heart, and respected that as I would wish you or others to respect me if I so vanish of my own accord. Moving on to another life in another world might be what made you happy…But I have learned that it is not your hand or thoughts of leaving the world of friendship we shared, but foul play that has snatched you.

I think often about breaching the silence–of reaching out across those worlds–but the skeptic in me worries that the repercussions that crossing that divide might cause your gentle spirit (and perhaps mine) would mean more harm than good. So I sit and vacillate on the matter–worried about you alone out there somewhere, floating and alone except for whisperings and faint memories.

I, too, mourn your passing, but wait with open arms for the moment when that world might choose to release you and allow you to live life again, to breath freedom and personal choice in the warm sunshine of friendship. Whether in this world or the other, know you are thought of fondly, remembered and loved. There is always a place at our table for you, friend…

Fuckin’ A.

That’s all I have to say. Fuckin’ A.

[sub]The silence we share is perhaps what makes it hardest.[/sub]

Weirddave: :frowning:
Peta Tzunami: :frowning:

A touching eulogy Dave.

That any of us should be so fortunate to be mourned in so heartfelt a fashion when we too are gone.

Sincere Condolences,

Chris

Wierddave, all I can wish for you at this time is … peace. I’m walking that same, winding road, man.

Amen, Dave, Peta, Am, and Patrick. I miss her too, so very much. There is a hole in my heart left by her abrupt absence, and the manner of it. Thank you for your condolences, xash, Darwin’s Finch,Chris and Ice Wolf.

Dear God, bring her back to herself, to all of us who love her. Wind beneath your wings, indeed.
Where’s a crying face when you need one? :frowning:

{{{{{{our friend}}}}}}
{{{{{{all her friends}}}}}}

I miss her very much, too. And I still agonize over whether I couldn’t have done something…ANYTHING better. With my head I know that we all did everything we could, but my heart isn’t convinced. She is in my prayers every single day, and seldom out of my thoughts.

Should you ever find yourself reading this, my friend, please believe that we all love you, and if you ever want to come back to us, you will be welcomed with open and loving arms. And I hope and pray that that day comes soon.

ScottiHugs to all, little as that helps.

Much Love,

Cheri

Dave and Peta, you have said eloquently what has been on the hearts of all us who knew her.

Thank you.

Poly & Barb