Funeral Shit Show

Thursday morning the father of one of my close friends was found dead in his rented flophouse. All signs point towards overdose, so we’ll just go with that as manner of death for now. He was a piece of shit father who was in and out of the lives of his children, spent time in jail, and was smoking crack with his youngest son on his sixteenth birthday. To sum it up, he was a piece of shit. Now, fast-forward to the day of the funeral.

The wealthy sister (who was amazing and solid as a rock through the entire thing) of the deceased showed up from Kansas City and paid for the entire funeral. Means of burial was cremation and even taking this route was, in my opinion, insanely extensive. $4,200 for the services and cremation; the bill stated the cardboard in the rented coffin cost $600. Re-fucking-diculous. My friend asked that I arrive at his house at noon and provide him moral support outside of his family; he knew that I would talk about other things than the funeral and provide a healthy distraction from the sadness of the day. He also knew he was going to need help with his on again off again drug addict, younger brother who is twenty-two going on thirteen.

His brother started drinking straight vodka around 1 pm; the visitation did not start until 6 pm. My friend, who has a 7 year old daughter who was close to the deceased, was absolutely distraught over his brother’s behavior. His brother, we’ll call Brody, was acting a got-damn fool. He was eating valium, drinking vodka, and pontificating about he was, “The closest one to my dad out of all you motherfuckers.” This is in front of the family, including one other brother and two sisters and also the aunt who was paying for the entire thing.

His histrionics and ignorance absolutely dominated the day. He was not thankful at all and nothing was done right according to his drunken, exacting standards. He demanded that Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird be played, not once, but throughout the entire visitation. I wasn’t even aware there was music at visitations, but he was hell bent.

He made everyone there, at my friend’s house uncomfortable, around twenty people. He demanded to be the first one into the funeral home to view the body, stating that he was going to, “Grab dad and lift him up out of the casket and tell him to ‘WAKE UP!’. Well, surely enough, he was the first one there and acted like a complete idiot. He did exactly what he said he was going to do, up to and including throwing himself on the corpse and playing dress up with the body: He put a bandana and sunglasses on his dad. He was screaming at the top of the lungs which sent my friends seven year old daughter into hysterics.

Rather than greeting the people who came to pay their respects, Brody kept disappearing to the parking lot with a group of his fucking junky, loser friends where they were smashing shots of Crown Royal. Every time a new group of people would show up he’d wash, rinse, and repeat the whole wailing and gnashing of teeth routine, screaming and yelling that he was the “CLOSEST MOTHERFUCKER HERE” to his father. His actions were upsetting to everyone in attendance and a few people who were warned at the door of his behavior turned around and left without ever going in.

He then accosted the funeral director yelling, “I don’t want you to burn my fucking dad.” We had to physically escort him out of the funeral home while his buddy chimed in, “Yeah I heard you guys smash the body before you burn.” He and his buddy came back to my friend’s house, whereupon I tossed out his brother’s trashed friend, by force. His brother then left the house to score meth in a grocery store parking lot down the road and didn’t return that night. We didn’t see him until the next day.

At the funeral he was a complete disaster and it was apparent he had gone days without sleep. He pulled the same shit he did at the visitation and ruined the entire experience for everyone, leaving his aunt who paid for the entire thing in tears. The shit-show is still continuing; he called my house on Sunday night after the funeral to find his brother who was staying with me to get away from his house. He was threatening to shoot, “EVERY MOTHERFUCKER” who had stepped on his toes and ruined his grieving process. I hung the phone up and haven’t heard from him since. For all I know he will be the next one his wealthy aunt will have to pay funeral expenses for. FUUUUUUUUUUCK:smack:

So, dopers, any train-wreck funeral stories to be shared?

I wasn’t there, I don’t know, I can’t say…

But…

From the above, long before it got that bad, someone should have hauled him off, sat him down, shut him up, and, if necessary, sat on him.

To be honest, I pulled him aside numerous times trying to talk sense into him. I explained that he wasn’t the only one who lost someone and that other people should be allowed to grieve. He was hellbent on “KEEPING IT REAL.” “IM THE ONLY REAL MOTHERFUCKER HERE.” I guess, by real, he meant the biggest dick who doesn’t know how to act in public.

As simply a friend of the family, rather than a family member, I was really confused as to what was off-limits as far as me handling him.

You can’t talk sense to someone who’s drunk or high. They just don’t get it.

If Brody’s behavior was really that offensive, he should have been escorted out, taken home, and allowed to sleep it off. There is no excuse for the way he acted.

Too late now, but I’d bet the funeral home people would have had an idea of what to do, up to and including an arrest.

I would have totally called the cops on him.

You’re right. Everyone was giving him a pass because it was his father and he was the closest to him. If it would have been my family that was involved in the funeral, even if I was a distant cousin, I would have kicked him straight the fuck out from the jump; perhaps I would have given him one or two warnings.

The funeral director was very old, perhaps in his late 80’s. The funeral home-owner, who is also my friends landlord, was around 94. They looked like a couple of deer caught in the headlights for the duration of the visitation and funeral.

Good point, but someone on methamphetamines is perhaps more volatile than someone who is drunk. If you restrain a drunk for long enough they will usually pass out from exertion, but with meth there is no getting them to sleep.

I can’t top that, but I did attend a doozy.

A girl I was dating had a mom. Mom was married to husband #2. He shot and killed mom, then himself.

They had a double - single? - funeral with both caskets on display. Friends and family of each were there, and they had to put a divider down the middle of the funeral home to keep each tribe separate. Think “Bride or Groom?” but with terrible anger and sadness for all.

There were some skirmishes at the viewing, and actual punches thrown at the cemetery.

It was a bad week all around.

Good Og, that one was doomed from the start.

Wow, if that had been on TV, I’d be complaining that it was too over the top and unbelievable.

I wasn’t at this funeral, but a relative told me about it. We have a very large family, and there are always a few people pissed at someone else about something. Anyway, the husband of a distant cousin died. I had never met the guy, but I always heard he was a blow-hard asshole. Anyway, he’s in the casket, and people start talking about what an asshole he was. Then someone actually punches the dead guy and says something like, “You aren’t so tough now are you?” (I guess it takes a lot of courage to punch out a dead guy.) Anyway, others join in in taking shots at the body. Next thing you know, they are wheeling the casket around the funeral home and singing songs about the guy being an asshole. The priest who was going to say a few words got scared and took off.

I had a good one, full of the crazy, but I have successfully managed to blot the details from my mind thru drink and will.

It involved stolen property, threats of police intervention, border-line corpse abuse and security presence at the “service”. Can’t manage to forget the main componants… yet.

Quick, before you have another drink and it all fades, tell us.

Because… it’ll be cathartic. Yeah, we’re only thinking of you…

True enough, but at the same time, the police should have been called to get his ass out of there. He shouldn’t have been there, is what I’m saying.

Okay, I’d have called the cops for that alone.

Good gods. I’ve never seen anything like it. My stories are so mild in comparison I won’t even bother sharing them here.

Overture, coffin, lights
This is it, the funeral fight
And oh what fights we’ll get –
On with the show, this is shit!

Wow, that sounds f’n awesome.

You know what’s a good idea? Inviting the family of the murderer to the victim’s funeral…