I have one from Movie Macabre, the night she screened The Fall of the House of Usher, and Philip was trying to get Madeline to eat some gruel. Elvira was making a mock commercial for “Minute Gruel, the Breakfast Fuel”:
Elvira: After a hearty bowl of Minute Gruel, your whole family will go about the house singing its praises!
[sound of toilet flushing]
Benson
(Benson has just arrived to teach a night school class on economics.)
Young Man: What happened to Old Man Hawkins?
Old Woman: They fired his butt!
(Benson explains his course agenda):
Benson: That’s the only way you’re going to pass the final exam!
Young Man: Old Man Hawkins never gave exams!
Benson: That’s why they fired his butt!
My favorite MM bit came the week they were showing Dr Black and Mr Hyde, and Elvira interviewed Arsenio Hall playing the Founder and Treasurer of the NAACP (Negroes’ Alliance against Crappy Pictures).
ELVIRA: (Introducing her guest) This is Mustafa Kareem Abdul X Mohammed … boy, that’s a pretty long name. Is there anything else I can call you?
**
ARSENIO:** Tyrone.
ELVIRA: Tyrone?
ARSENIO: Yeah, Tyrone Washington. That’s my slave name.
This bit used to be on YouTube. If you can find it, it’s hilarious!
Another one from the show:
“I couldn’t get Mimi to take off her makeup.”
“I heard they tried once, and there was a whole other painting underneath it.”
Ahem.
“I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords .”
My fav. Simpsons line:
[Homer]
Lisa, is this house we obey the Laws of Thermodynamics!
[/Homer]
My favorite SIMPSONS line is from when Marge decides to become a cop.
“Marge, you being a cop makes you The Man – which makes me The Woman – and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear – which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.”
SANFORD AND SON
FRED: During the war, I was in the Army Air Force. They wanted to make me the tail gunner in a B-17, but I refused.
LAMONT: You refused? Why?
FRED: I ain’t ridin’ in the back of no airplane!
In another episode, Fred is in in Traffic Court and confronts the cop who gave him a ticket. The courtroom is packed with black people.
FRED: What I wanna know is, how come you don’t ticket no white drivers?
COP: (Indignantly) I **do **ticket white drivers!
FRED: Where are they? I don’t see no white people here! All I see is niggers! There’s enough niggers here to make a Tarzan movie!
Only Redd Foxx could get away with this!
So did Richard Pryor!
In the famous “Word Association” sketch on SNL, they managed to work in “nigger” (it was Chevy Chase’s line), but that was the only episode where the network insisted on imposing a secret five-second delay because they were afraid of what else Pryor might say.
“Dead honky!”
Can we count Simpsons sign jokes?
Lisa comes up to as sign that says “Do Not Enter” underneath it is a smaller sign that says “Or do. I’m a sign, not a cop”.
I laughed so hard.
ROBOT CHICKEN
Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia are lying in bed together after just having “done it.”
Leia: (Awkwardly) This was *soooo *wrong…!
My favorite Simpson line, in response to the alternate ending of Who Shot Mr. Burns?
Troy McLure: But for that ending to work, you’d have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be downright nutty.
FRASIER
Lilith has just proposed that she have another baby by Frasier.
FRASIER: Would we … sleep together?
LILITH: I thought we’d freeze your sperm.
FRASIER: Is that a yes or a no?
Penny: Oh, Leonard, please, not in front on my father.
Wyatt: Relax. I’ve seen you do a lot worse with a lot stupider.
Tim Conway. Elephant story. Carol Burnett Show. 'Nuff said.
Yeah…in that Living Flashback episode, Frasier’s mother called Lilith an “icicle.” 
Fnork.
:D:D:D:D
Zim: It’s been nice working with you, GIR! Now, self-destruct.
GIR: Finally!