More Randy Quaid moments in Christmas Vacation that cracked me up:
The scene where he’s standing outside in his boxers holding a large hose that he’s using to empty the septic tank from his RV into the gutter. When the snooty neighbors give him a quizzical look, he offers a cheerful “Shitter’s full!” by way of explanation.
Also, in the aforementioned sled scene, when he declines to take a ride on the sled 'cause he’s got a plastic plate in his head. “Used to be a metal plate, but then every time the little lady turned on the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for half an hour.”
Admittedly lowbrow, but his delivery totally killed me.
The Life of Brian when Brian opens up his balcony doors, completely naked, to a cheering throng below.
The Jerk when Steve Martin first hears the music of his people. Same movie when Bernadette Peters says “It’s not the money I’ll miss, it’s all the stuuuuf.”
Blazing Saddles campfire scene.
The funeral scene from The Wrong Box.
Arthur, “I’ll alert the media” and “If I should begin to die, remove this.” (John Gielgud referring to a child’s cowboy hat).
Old School, where one of the guys accidentally shoots himself in the neck with a tranquilizer dart.
Everthing kind of slows down, and all the speech is slurred, and he reaches up to his neck and touches the dart and says, really slowly, “It’s a fucking dart, man!”
Doesn’t sound at all funny written down, you’d have to see the movie.
Good call. But my vote goes for the lines a minute later, where he says out loud: “My God, Vanessa has a fabulous body. I’ll bet she shags like an animal. . . . I wonder if I should tell them that I have no inner dialogue?”
And of course later: “That’s not your mother, that’s a MAN, baby!”
I also credit this film for pointing out something I’d never realized, when Number 2 says to Dr. Evil: “I spent the best years of my life turning your two-bit organization into an international corporate giant, and you want to ruin it all with some stupid plan to take over the world!”
Hey, Number 2’s got a point.
The Scene in Shaolin Soccer where Iron Leg is telling Golden Leg about how modern society could benefit from the use of Shaolin Kung Fu. The scene keeps transitioning to a Shaolin Master doing some obscure martial arts technique that Iron Leg is describing. The scene goes back to the two characters, only Golden Leg is dressed up as the Shaolin monk. He tells Iron Leg, “That is very interesting, but I have to go now” as he is pulling off the costume (Gi, fake beard, beads, etc)
Ah yes, low-brow humor. There was a moment in the beginning of Wrongfully Accused where Leslie Nielson is “the King of the Violin” playing in a crowded concert hall. During a period when he is standing while the rest of the orchestra plays, a woman up in the balcony catches his eye and then starts rolling a cigar around on her chest and licking at it in an attempt to turn him one. Leslie Nielson is standing behind a podium with a drawer in it at about waist height, and as we watch the drawer slowly creaks open. And then the woman bites off the end of the cigar and the drawer closes with a sudden THUMP.
After “It’s so dark in here… where are you? Oh! There you are… So tell me, is it true what they say about you the way you people are… gifted? (Zipper noise) Oh! It’s twue, it’s twue!” (fades)
The best part is the bit that was left on the cutting room floor. Bart’s next line, “Pardon me, miss, but you’re sucking on my elbow.”
Which brings me to this exchange:
[Lili Von Schtupp offers Bart a gigantic sausage]
Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben?
Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben!
Lil: Well how about a little… [whispers in his ear]
Bart: [shocked] Baby! I’m not from Havana!
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery : Dr. Evil and minions cackle with maniacal laughter, which gradually tails off into embarrassed silence. I laugh just thinking about it.
There’s Something About Mary : Ben Stiller is interviewed by the police after being picked up at the rest area. (“I mean who keeps track?..”)
Airplane!: “Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”
Airplane II: William Shatner’s career reaches its peak as he walks through the door.
The Producers: Springtime for Hitler. “Don’t be stupid, be a smartie, come and join the Nazi party.”
The two 12-ish year old girls are playing on the see-saw, when one says “I know how to French kiss”, to which her cousin replies, “So, everyone knows that”.
The first girl replies, “Yeah, but Daddy says I’m the best”.
From Airplane (a bottomless pit of side-splitting quotes):
Joey: Wait a minute! I know you. You’re Kareem Abdul-Jabar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Roger Murdock: I’m sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I’m the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem! I’ve seen you play. My dad’s got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he’s not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is ROGER MURDOCK. I’m an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try . . . except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: The hell I don’t!! LISTEN KID! I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lenier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
I second the “Stonehenge” performance in Spinal Tap. Just watching that mini trilith descending from the ceiling, the look on Michael McKean’s face…priceless.
I would also nominate the “Puttin’ on the Ritz” scene from Young Frankenstein. Every time Peter Boyle opened his mouth I was just rolling on the floor.
And, of course, almost the entirety of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Monty python and the holy grail: too many to name but,
“what, behind the rabbit?” and the gore that ensued
“the black knight always triumphs”
“some day lad, all this will be yours” “what, the curtains?”
“come Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here”
“I’m french you silly king, why do you think I have this outrageous accent?”
etcetera…
Shrek: the scene where fiona whoops up on Robin hood and the merry men; have it on DVD, watch it over and over again.
Something about Mary: sequences in that with the dog, the franks and beans, I had to literally hold my side in the theater for half that movie because of a cramp from laughing.
Jackass:
Where the guy fights the female kickboxer, although since it’s more of a documentary, I don’t know if it qualifies.
