Funny conversation I just had with my ex-girlfriend.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

ding-dong

her: Hey, come on in.

me: Hey, I brought you those forms from the college .

her: Thanks. Hey, can you help me find that thing.

me: What thing?

her: You know, the thing. The thing that I use for my stuff.

me: What stuff?

her: The stuff I use. Help me find the thing.

me: Um… O.K. {{{monkey proceeds to look in random places around the apartment}}} Is this it?

her: That’s my mp3 player. I need the thing. The thing for the stuff.

me: Is this it?

her: That’s a can opener. The thing’s not going to be in the kitchen.

me: O.K. Is this it?

her: Put the dog down.

dog: Arf!
It went on that way for a few minutes till she found the thing, which turned out to be a paper clip I had bent for her so she could jigger open the box she keeps her art supply stuff in. But I’m home now, and I realized I’ve also lost a thing. It’s a different thing, but I can’t find it. I need that thing. Not the paper clip, the other thing. So I’m asking the dopers:

Where did I put that thing I need?

2

Try looking in the room. (which room? I dunno)

3

Next to the whatzit.

4

Under the whaddya call it.

5

I don’t have the whatzit anymore, remember? I gave it to that guy. The guy from the place.

6

No, the OTHER whaddya call it. Not the green one.

7

The place on that street? Or the place on the other street?

8

You threw it out with the thingamajig back whenever it was.

Or the dog has it.

9

It’s over on that table next to the doohickey.

10

This dude nabbed it.

11

Maybe she’s my long lost sister?

Actual conversation I had last night:
Dad: Hey, remember the guy at my gym who knows you?
Me: No
Dad: He went to high school with you…
Me: No
Dad: He says he didn’t really know you, but he knew (lists some of my old buddies)
Me: OK
Dad: So do you know him?
Me: No
Dad: He has blonde hair
Me: (laughing) Could you be a little more vague?
Dad: What do you mean?
Me: I need more information.
Dad: I figured you might know him because of his blonde hair.
Me: There was probably hundreds of people with blonde hair at my HS.
Dad: Ok, now you’re being ridiculous, you’re saying you know hundreds of people with blonde hair.
Me: Maybe, I haven’t really counted them.
Dad: Anyway, I don’t know why you’re being so difficult, I was just seeing if you knew him BTW his name is ___________.
Me: Oh… yeah I know him.
Dad: See… I told you you knew him.
Me: ???

12

[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun;13376960Where did I put that thing I need?[/QUOTE]

It’s behind your ear.

13

You always find stuff in the last place you look, so go to the place that you’d look last and start there.

14

Once again, Yahoo has the answer: Where is that thing I misplaced, and forgot what it was?

15

You loaned the thing to that guy. You know, the guy with the face? The one that lives near the chick that dresses funny?

16

i HATE GOLFBALLS DAMNIT!!! I HATE THEM! THEY KEEP ENDING UP IN MY MOUTH!!!

17

Ummm, A Monkey With a Gun, I hate to break this to you, but from your OP, I’m convinced I married your ex-GF ten years ago. The thing’s probably here.

18

The “Arf!” part especially made me laugh. But my SO, who DMs, used to do this in D&D until I scolded him out of it. “You’re walking down the street and see someone familiar.” No lie - he’s a great DM otherwise, but this drove me batty! I am supposed to infer from that much who he is???

19

You know that thing you asked me to do? Yea, with the guy. No, not that guy, the other guy. Yea, that thing with the guy with the thing at the place. It’s done. And he had that thing you were looking for.

20

See, that just proves that you did the right thing breaking up with her. If you were meant to be, you’d have known immediately what she wanted to find.

Have you tried in the door of the car? That little pocket in the door is always swiping my stuff. . .