I recently started a new summer job at my college, and a few days ago, as I read an invite to a picnic with the other members of my lab, I realized that nobody had assumed I was a vegetarian for a few weeks.
This may not seem like much, but to me it was a significant relief, because at my previous job, it happened all the time.
I used to work at a sub shop near campus, and it seemed like every time we got a new employee I’d get asked the same question. First it was the tall high school guy with whom I had a pleasant argument about the Stoned Ape Hypothesis on his first day. Then it was my shift manager, a string of teenage guys, and, most memorably, the stupid husband of one of my coworkers, who had nothing better to do than hang around in one of our booths all day and act like an ignoramous.
He would always ask me if I needed any cigarettes when he left to get some for himself and his wife, and I always told him I didn’t smoke, and he never remembered. One day, the exchange went thus:
“Do you need any cigarettes?”
“No thanks. I don’t smoke, remember?”
“Oh, right. And you’re the vegetarian! I bet you never get sick.”
I am befuddled by all of this. I mean, I don’t look like a vegetarian. Well, maybe I look like the kind of vegetarian who lives on Nutella and kettle chips and sequesters quite a bit of carbon on her person. I’m pretty sure I’ve waxed poetic about bacon on occasion, I’ve never paused to apologize to a stick of salami before slicing it, and I don’t dress in the granola hemp and paisley style (often comorbid with vegetarianism) that lots of kids at my school adopt as freshman once they discover the funky import shop down College Avenue.
And with the exception of Stupid, most of the time I get it from vegetarians who think they recognize me as one of their own. Is it simply because I tend to get along with them pretty well? That I’m socially liberal and enjoy talking about things like the Stoned Ape Hypothesis? That I once ate a toasted cheese sandwich on break? Or is it something more subtle and mysterious?
People who ask about dietary preferences, please weigh in.
Everyone else: what do people mistake you for?