Hee. 
Let me tell you, going to Public Policy school renders resume-writing fraught with peril. The dean did leave out that crucial L in a memo at one point.
You think that’s bad? A coworker did the exact same thing once. Except he did it from my computer. On my email account. Under my name. While I was on a weeklong vacation.
And the email went out to 150 of my fellow associates. I also received much (undeserved, in my opinion, but well received) heckling.
My car doesn’t have cruise control. The first time I took her out on a long trip I got annoyed with having to regulate my own speed and automatically tried to hit [Num Lock] to auto-run. :smack:
Also, the other day I was trying to tell my boss something important, saying “Oh, you know, it’s the thing…with the numbers and the dots…tells you where the webpage is…” My boss: “The IP address?” BTW–I’m a web developer. Yeah.
Every time I get a new job/computer, I remove the word *pubic *from my new spellchecker. That reminds me, I should also remove the word fro. Less embarrassing, but I make that typo all the time.
Not me, but a friend. Ordered her mom a new stereo for her car. Store called and said it was in, made an appointment for installation. Drove to the installation in Dad’s car.
Me-Sunglasses on top of head while searching for them, putting two contact lenses in one eye, answering the phone at home with the work spiel.
In my apartment, both the dining room and living room lights have two switches each, one at each end of the room. Many’s the time I have flipped what I thought was the dining room switch and ended up turning the living room light on or vice versa. Recently I thought, “Maybe I’ll put a note on the switch plate about which light switch does what.”
I don’t know how I was going to see it in the dark.
Since I’m an accounting type, “acocunt” was one of the first to be added to the autocorrect menu! :o
First time trying to ‘power load’ a boat (this is where you drive it onto the trailer - I was still pretty new at the whole boating thing, and I felt like I was coming in a little too fast -
YOu ever try to find the brake pedal on a boat? Turns out it doesn’t matter how hard you push your foot on the floor - it aint gonna slow down.
On launching a brand new boat - the water was higher than normal, so it required backing the truck out farther to get the boat to ‘float’ off the trailer - well, this boat was new, and was apparently still ‘sticking’ to the bunks a little - fine, I tell the wife to let me drive the truck so I can add a little momentum - this works just fine - except that neither of us is in the boat, nor do we have the dock line hooked up - so there we are - watching our boat float away. (10 seconds later I realize I can wade/swim to it, its not going that fast - but those were a long 10 seconds trying to figure that out).
Ever tried to shift to 5th gear in a 4speed standard? Ever try to do that in an automatic?
I hate it when I switch from a floor shift to a column shift and back - I almost always end up about breaking the darn wiper controls!
Heh. Just had another one. I was reading a magazine about people who act like folks with various diseases, for medical students to practice on. I was mentally preparing my hi-la-ri-ous response involving Kramer and Mickey playing gonorrhea when I remembered I wasn’t reading this message board. :o
A helpful tip: when getting out of the car, if you are the one driving, put it in park first.
Yes. And yes. I learned to drive on a stick shift but a few years later ended up driving automatics. After many, many years driving automatics I still sometimes try to hit the clutch and switch gears.
If your automatic shift is on the steering wheel and your passenger doesn’t realize you still think you’re driving a stick shift you often get strange looks when you try to shift their knee.
See, there I go again… OK, so it should be a two NUMBER prefix. I would like to chalk this up to lack of sleep if you don’t mind. Two hours is just not enough. 
I almost hate to tell this story because people still remind me of it to embarrass me! It happened some years ago while traveling with other people in Europe. We were in Paris and we climbed many steps to reach the heights of this tall structure. What a magnificent 360 degree view of the beautiful City of Lights! I looked out at the fantastic panoramic sight, had my camera ready, but couldn’t find what I was looking for. I dashed to the other side of the structure but still couldn’t find it! One of my fellow travelers trailed me as I dashed around trying to find my perfect shot. Finally he asked me what I was looking for. I said the Eiffel Tower. He said, “You’re standing on it.” Oops.
My old foreman tried to launch his boat by himself in the river. He was smart enough to tie a bow line on, and hold on to said line from inside the truck. He backed it in the water, and as soon as the boat started to float, he pulled forward, slammed it into park and jumped out of the truck. Only after he was completely out of the truck, did he realize he actually put it in reverse. He let go of the bow line to get back into the truck but couldn’t catch up to it. There he sat on the bank, watching his truck sink and his boat float away.
After he replaced the truck, a few of us in the shop we kind enough to make a propeller insert for his hitch out of an old fan. For some reason, he failed to see the humor.
I do this quite often, as my work truck’s shift is on the column, and Satellite^Gal’s Mazda is floor shift… and my Civic is manual, just to add to the confusion.
Something else I do sometimes; the Mazda has the radio’s volume control on the steering wheel. I’ve been driving it quite a bit lately. When I hop into the Civic, and I want to adjust the volume on the radio, I actually get disappointed when I discover (again) that I have to reach over to the middle of the dash, to do it… :smack:
S^G
The worst is when your attempt to hit the clutch lands on the brake pedal. Try pushing the brake all the way to the floor at 35mph some time…
It was actually the fact that it’s a THREE number/digit prefix that tickled my funny bone. Get some rest!! 
Or when you dig around in there, but you can’t REMEMBER if you took them out or not the night before. But it turns out it’s just slightly stuck, so first you rub your eye raw, then layer a second lense over the first one that would’ve probably come right out if you’d bothered to put some re-wetting drops in there.
When you’re closing a document you’ve been working on for an hour, the correct answer to the question, “would you like to save this document?” is “yes”.
And just today I was on my portal website and tried to mouseover a headline to get a preview of the article.
I blame SDMB for that one.