I tend to mis-read things a lot. F’instance, I was driving past a nail salon and read their sign as “Tasty Nails;” I thought maybe it was a combination beauty parlor and Korean restaurant. On second look, the sign says “Fantasy Nails.”
Last week, I read “quid pro quo” as “squid pro quo.” My first thought was that it sounded like part of the SDMB initiation ritual.
My roommates and I brew our own beer, and Saturday it was my turn to make a batch. I added the yeast Saturday night and checked it eagerly the next day to see if it was bubbling yet (indicating active fermentation). It was, and I happily reported to my roommates, “My beer is starting to bubble!”
“Cool,” said one roommate.
“WHAT?” said the other.
“My beer is bubbling.”
“Oh. I thought you said your rear was starting to bubble.”
Anyone else got some amusing misreadings or mishearings to share?
Back in college, several of us were hanging around the living room. Roomie B and I announced our intentions to go to the store. Roomie K then says (he claims) “I may accompany you to the store.” Roomie B and I turn to each other and in baffled unison exclaim “Hominy cumby!!!” – both having heard “Hominy cumby to the store.”
Oh, I do this all the time. Especially when I’m without my glasses. We have a TV Guide channel here and there were two program listings in particular that I mistook for something else:
-Fisting with Kate and Shelly was actually Fishing with Kate and Shelly
A homebuilder calledTK Constructors underwrites shows on Indiana Public Radio. It didn’t take me long to catch my mistake, but I still picture “over twenty houseplants” at TK’s offices. It’s houseplans.
Years ago I was hanging out with my now ex-girlfriend, and we decided that nakedness might be fun. We shed our clothes and then locked in a passionate embrace.
She said “Mmm, nunski nunski!”
I said “Mmm, yeah. Er, what?”
“What?”
“Did you say ‘nunski nunski?’”
“No, I said ‘skin on skin.’”
From that point on, we referred to sex as nunski nunski.
There is a law firm in town with the name Associated Attorneys on their sign. The first few times we drove by there, I thought it said Assorted Attorneys
I do this all the time, but of course I can’t think of any shining examples at the moment. The only one that comes to mind is at my last job working for the state health system, I was filling out a form with a member over the phone and read “Medical Conditions” as “Montreal Canadiens.” I should probably add that I work part-time at the Fleet Center (well, it’s the Garden again now), and the Bruins had played the Canadiens the night before…
My brother once read a book which made repeated reference to polo ponies, but spelled it as all one work: poloponies. And instead of figuring out what was meant through the context, he read it as poLOPonies through the entire book, with no clue what the hell they were talking about.
A coworker stated that he had an appointment with a Kathy Morgan. I thought he said Captain Morgan. With this guy, it was quite possible the way I heard was right.
