Funny stuff you misunderstood/misconceptions about movies as a kid.

When I was a kid (6’ish), I somehow completely missed that Big Trouble in Little China took place in an American Chinatown and didn’t understand why a guy was driving a big rig truck through China.

I also saw Full Metal Jacket at a similar age and thought it took place in Russia (probably because it was 1986 and I had no conception of Vietnam; I just knew that Russia was “the enemy”).

After watching Star Wars as a kid I was somewhat confused as to what Darth Vader and the stormtroopers were supposed to be. I assumed they were robots.

For some reason, I thought that Luke was captured by Vader at the end of Empire, and that the mechanical hand was given to him on board Vader’s ship. Even at the time, I felt the huge weight of the symbolism of Luke becoming part-mechanical, only it was inflated because I thought he got his mechanical hand directly from Vader. I’m not sure how I explained the presence of the others there. But it meant that when I saw Jedi, I thought Luke had been turned to the Dark Side (and his dark cloak and scarred face didn’t allay this impression), which made for a very different movie!

I thought the sluglike creature in Wrath of Khan was that same real bug my mom called an “earwig”.

I thought The Pirate Movie was really good. (Shut up, I was seven, OK?)

Oh, I loved The Pirate Movie! All the jokes went right over my head. My mom hated it and wouldn’t let me watch it when it was on TV. I saw The Pirates of Penzance a lot instead.

It’s on Comcast On Demand now, and I watched it last night for the first time in over 20 years. I’m shocked (no really shocked!) that a sex farce that bawdy got a PG rating. Yeah, everything went WAY over my head. And it is bad. Really bad. I kept trying to get…uh… “altered” enough so that it would get good, and it didn’t really help, except I was transfixed by how utterly terrible it all was. I suspect that this movie was why Australia was banned from making movies until the early 90’s. (No, they weren’t, but they might as well have been.)

But when I was a kid, I loved it! I thought whatsisname was the cutest thing ever. Upon re-viewing, he’s like 14 years old and while he’s got a nice smile, that’s about where the attractiveness ends.

When I first watched Star Wars in 1978, in the opening sequence I thought the Rebels were on the huge battle cruiser (terminology?), and the Stormtroopers on the little raggy ship. I couldn’t work out why they didn’t just blast the tiny Stormtrooper ship to bits rather than letting it dock with them and invade. It was only on about the third viewing of the movie that I worked out which ship was which.

I didn’t get the concept of “suspension of disbelief” and was sorely disappointed by the Indiana Jones and James Bond franchises. I mean, come on! That mine cart would have tipped over! At least once.

“That’s funny… the damage doesn’t seem as bad from out here.”

I’m 24. [Keep that in mind with some of the ‘newer’ movies I mention].

The first couple of times I saw Honey I shrunk the kids, I didn’t get the entire “Where did you learn CPR?” “In french class” joke.

The VERY first time I saw the Matrix, I was like “What’s with the spaceship?” (The Neb, and the ‘Squiddies’) I have since gotten the entire subplot, and The Matrix is one of my top 5 movies. Especially since I have seen “The Secret” and “What the Bleep Do we Know?!”.

Until a couple years ago, I didn’t fully get the entire Sufferage / Votes For Women sub plot in Mary Poppins. I would have gotten it sooner… but its been some years out since I saw it after I got what “sufferage” was.

I want to see Jurassic Park again, as my Vocabulary has developed since then, and I can get the “real” reasons why the 7 or so visitors got hand picked to go to JP.

“I get it… French class!”

I didn’t get that joke at the end of* Honey, I Shrunk the Kids* until very recently (I thought it was a non sequiter). Ironic.

I was probably 10 or 12 when I saw The Man With the Golden Arm.* Kept waiting for Frank Sinatra to show us his golden arm. Why was it golden? Because he was rich. Rich people have lots of gold stuff.

*I went to the movies every Saturday, regardless of what was playing. I don’t think mom ever bothered to check. Hell, she might not have known what it was about either.

I still don’t get it. Explanation, please?

I thought kissing was the most any of the characters in romantic movie scenes would ever do, even after the cameras stopped rolling.

I thought the women in Mary Poppins were singing about the “Supper Jets,” some kind of airline flight where you got a nice meal - but they were singing about the “suffragettes.”

Betsey, a friend of mine, watched The Sound of Music every year on TV with her family. Her mom always turned it off after Maria and the Baron got married, as it would be Betsey’s bedtime by then. Bestsey didn’t know until she was in college that there was more to the movie after that.

Almost nobody gets that line…

You saw Full Metal Jacket when you were SIX?! :eek:

Not strictly a movie, but when I was about five or six I thought Flash Gordon was black. See, there was a black guy called Gordon on Sesame Street in the early 70’s, and when I saw a page in a comic book listing their other titles, one of which was “Flash Gordon”, I just assumed that he was black - black guys were called Gordon, right? Confused me for years, that one did.

In an interesting coincidence, Sesame Street has ended some of its recent episodes with Oscar the Grouch reading Slimey the adventures of Trash Gordon- played by the Street’s own resident (black) Gordon- who proudly announces the day’s sponsors (letter and number).

I didn’t really think of it as a joke. Is it that C3PO doesn’t understand that he’s looking at the undamaged Star Destroyer and can’t really see Princess Leia’s ship, which would just be a tiny dot beneath it?

Not a movie but I grew watching MAS*H (like I said not the movie, I didn’t see that for years later), and for years I didn’t realize Hawkeyey was doing anything but kissing those nurses. I didn’t know that was allowed! It wasn’t until I saw an episode where he “couldn’t”. Well even I knew what that meant. The veil was lifted from my eyes.

Interestingly I think I pieced this together from a MAD magazine parody of Midnight Cowboy. MAD magazine. Corupting youth for over half a century!

Speaking of MASH, I remember watching it as a kid and thinking that Frank and Hot Lips were the good guys, and Hawkeye and Trapper were the bad guys. I couldn’t understand why they were so mean to Frank.

And I second the “thought the stormtroopers were robots” thing.

I also remember watching a movie as a child where a man was traveling in a time machine. I assume it was H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine. I remember him going back to the 1900’s, and there was a house in the scene. I was confused because I thought surely they didn’t have houses that long ago.

I was in my late teens before I knew it didn’t end when the kids sing the goodnight song on the stairs.