In Scrubs when JD finally gets a straight up piece of advice from Dr Cox:
“Always remember: no matter where you go in life always watch out for Johnny the tackling Alzheimer’s patient.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gets tackled by a guy screaming “WHO AM I?!”
If you go to skoopy dot com (not a worksafe website) and go to the video section, but three or four pages in, they’ll have that commercial under, oddly enough, “funny ‘got milk’ commercial”
Is that the one where instead of swearing they have everyone saying “blankety blank” and “bleep?” If so, that was a very good episode.
That’s the one. 
Also the two actors they got to play the men in black were awesome.
“Oh. She, uh… she went to get some ice.”
I really can not recomend this episode highly enough.
The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy - Mandy is in a beauty contest and their reeling of various tests the contestants they’re going through. Then they come to the “Gom Jabbar” test. Mindy’s their with her hand in a box and she screams “It Burns!”
Rugrats - Chuckie gets trapped by some dancers. He finally gets out and moans “The hora! The hora!”
The Eager Beaver - A looney tune short about beavers. The voice over guy comes out and says “the beavers dam the river.” The beavers rush to the river bank and begin screaming obscenities at the river. OK, they’re all blankity blank blank but it’s still funny as hell.
And so many Harvey Birdman episodes.
The X Files always had its share of deadpan humor, and some its funny episodes (when it started doing those) were very funny. But none of them is like Jose Chung. How can you not be amused by an episode that guest stars Jesse Ventura and Alex Trebek as Men in Black?
I’ve just seen this one on a rerun of LA Law. Michael Kusak and Grace Van Owen have recently broken up. They meet, Kusak is riding a new motorbike.
Grace : I’ve never seen you with anything so powerful between your legs.
Kusak : Well, I’ve never been on top of anything so responsive before.
“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a dodgeball.”
Huh? I thought, then Rip Torn threw the wrench and dropped the kid to the ground I had to pause the movie to stop laughing.
Years ago, Jay Leno did a bit where he offered a solution to the question. He brought out a portable tape recorder which he said had been placed in a forest while a tree fell with no people in the vicinity. He pressed the play button and after several seconds of silence, someone in the audience yelled out, “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
It completely brought down the house, and Leno couldn’t continue for nearly a minute because he was laughing so hard.
From The Young Ones, after Rik wakes up with a young woman next to him in bed (who he doesn’t recognize). She’s at the kitchen table later, and Mike has asked her name:
Woman: “Promise you won’t laugh? It’s Helen.”
Vyvian laughs
Helen: I know, it’s awful, isn’t it? Sounds like somebody who’s been to hell and back.
pause
Helen: At least my surname isn’t Back. That would be awful, wouldn’t it? Helen Back.
pause
Helen: My surname is Mucus.
From Bubba Ho-Tep, when the old black guy who thinks he’s JFK shows Elvis the hieroglyphics he found written on the bathroom stall, and said he copied them down and looked them up in his book. Then he says (so serious and matter-of-fact):
"Now, this top line translates roughly to: ‘Pharaoh gobbles donkey goobers’,
and this bottom line is, ‘Cleopatra does the nasty’ "
Funny indeed. It was actually Johnny Carson though, not Jay Leno.
My all-time favourite was when he requested the category AN ALBUM COVER as “ANAL BUM COVER”.
Heeeeeee.
I’m sorry, the question we were looking for in response to ‘The funniest Celebrity Jeopardy lines from SNL’ was ‘What is ‘The Penis Mightier’’?
a couple of memorable adverts spring to mind, and seeing as i hate advertising, that’s no small feat…
the “Jooky” promo for Sprite
you see a beach scene with scantily clad women, guys in swim trunks/wetsuits/etc all cavorting on the beach to the tune of Carribiean music, the announcer goes on about how Jooky is a fun soda
cut to a grubby apartment, two guys sitting on a couch, one pops the top of his Jooky, waits a beat, looks into the can, dejectedly
he says, sadly…
“mine’s busted”
then there’s the Staples “SnoBot” advert
highlights midway thru the ad
can you tell me about this scanner-fax-copier
No
I’d really like to get one for my brother
get him a cell phone
no, he really wants one of these
he can’t have her, i love her
<struggle ensues, the customer makes off with the SFC>
Weeping, weeping…
<salesclerk> it’s okay, we found you someone else
Who?
<salesclerk holds up a surge protector>
ROWR!
One of my favorites was from David Spade’s The Showbiz Show on Comedy Central. He was doing his “news” segment and said that Michael Jackson was seen at a Dubai water park, wearing a white vinyl jumpsuit.
Then they cut to a clip of a B movie with an albino alien-looking thing, sliding around in a stream.
My husband and I were laughing so hard, I had to pause it. We laughed longer than we’ve ever laughed at anything…ever! More than 12 hours later, we were in bed, trying to sleep and for some reason, I thought about it and started laughing all over again.
Another favorite is from this season’s Family Guy. I don’t remember the exact context*, but 2 of the characters were talking about a woman being “loose” (it may have been Courtney Love) and, I believe it was Stewie(?) that said, “Really, I would think it’s more like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.” 
*Feel free to fill in the blanks for me.
No, I didn’t think it was the bear talking - I thought it was going to be an ad for something on Animal Planet or Discovery, so the Geico part was totally unexpected, and I laughed like an idiot. I still laugh whenever I see that one. The older one with Speed Racer caught me off guard, too. I had a total “WTF?” moment when it first came on. Then Trixie broke in with, “The bridge is out. But there’s good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance with Geico!” I laughed till I cried. I grew up watching Speed Racer, so I knew who the characters were, but my kids thought I was nuts.
That was funny but it would’ve been funnier if the ad wasn’t an almost direct steal of a Jerry Seinfeld routine that was featured in the monologue segment of “The Phone Message” episode.
What’s best about that ad is right after Trixie says that, it cuts back to Speed with an apparently bemused expression on his face (which, actually, Speed seemed to have about 90% of the time due to the show’s cheap limited animation).
It’s not a line, but my favorite Sprite commercial is the one with the animated ‘Sun Drink’ logo chasing the woman and her children through the kitchen…
From Family Guy:
Diane Simmons: Tom, the city of Boston is examining its conscience tonight in preparation for a visit from the Pope.
Tom Tucker: That’s right, Diane. I’ll tell you what else will be examined–this cock.
(Tom looks down at his lap for a long beat before producing a rooster.)
Tom Tucker: The Rhode Island Cock Society is sponsoring free check-ups for this year’s Cock Awareness Week. I don’t know why the suggestive name. They could’ve just as easily gone with “rooster.”