furniture that conveys a sense of menace

In My Humble Opinion
1

So, I’m buying furniture for my new place (a smallish one-bedroom apartment). I could go to Ikea and grab some stuff at random, I suppose. Or Target. Or even grab old furniture that people are throwing out.

But these options bore me.

So, instead, I turn to help from the Teeming Millions. I’d like your help in buying furniture that conveys, somehow, a sense of menace. Something between “supervillain” and “mad scientist”, preferably, perhaps with a bit of 19th-century unrepentant colonialist thrown in. Overall, it should create an air of Lawful Evil, not Chaotic Evil.

Most of my current furniture is either in rough shape, or doesn’t exist at all. (I could really use a coffee table, for example.) So, recommend whatever items of furniture you’d be familiar with. A few guidelines:

1.) I actually, genuinely do want to buy furniture - so the most helpful posts would have links to places that will give me furniture if I give them money. Hopefully not insane amounts of money.

2.) My place has a bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen (with room for a small dining room), and hallway. There isn’t a lot of room for really large furniture - though if something is suitably menacing, I might go for it anyway.

3.) My DIY skills are pretty much limited to simple unpowered hand tools - maybe half a step above the skill-set required to assemble IKEA furniture.

Thanks, Teeming Millions!

2

I’ve always thought there is something menacing about cheval mirrorsthough I don’t know if you’d find that too feminine, being a Mr. and all. I’ve always had a penchant for wrought iron, but you’d probably want a heavier pieceas opposed to patio furniture. But the single most menacing thing that has ever graced my abode is this iconic ladywhom my father affectionately referred to as Mrs. Ming. I’m not kidding. It hung in our house during my early childhood (late '60s) and sat in the attic until I moved out into my first apartment and let me tell you how thrilled my roommate was with my contribution. Not.

3

For a designer touch, I suggest the Mondrian Chair. This Dutch beauty was designed by an archirect who apparently cared naught about usability, just that the chair look good.

4

Menace? Like this?

5

Wow. That is an evil-looking chair - good choice! Looks like something an Evil Space Emperor would sit on. Sadly, though, it looks like no one is actually making these things.

6

Menace? Like this?

7

I knew someone who had one on the porch. I sat in it once: the thing is so hideously uncomfortable that I never wanted to again.

I don’t think it would be too difficult to build one from the pictures; it looks like all flat planes and surfaces.

8

Casket_Furniture

Design_Toscano

A_Carved_Skull

Throne_Chair

Just google goth furniture.

9

Look no further:

I think this is sufficiently menacing. :smiley:

10

Antique store, dude. (Or consignment shop, sometimes.) They have evil couches. Not so great to sit on, but nothing says 19th Century Railway Baron like one of them couches with all the wood on it. Yeah, baby.

11

Look for “haunted” furniture on ebay. I was also gonna suggest Design Toscano.

12

Ah, the work of Charles Rohlfs.

13

http://www.designtoscano.com/product/medieval+and+gothic/medieval+and+gothic+furniture/warwickshire+dragon+glass-topped+coffee+table+-+cl3039.do

14

Sit in this while wearing a nehru-jacket and stroking a white cat.

“Good evening, Mr. Bond.”

15

H.R. Giger furniture.

16

I can see that you need to find room for The Dragon Throne - they have one of these in my local pub, it’s fantastic!

17

See post #9. :smiley:

18

NSFWDungeon Furniture

Or just google bondage furniture. You will find everything from the good, to the bad, to the scary.

19

How about some furniture from the [noparse]http: //www.phinnweb.org/links/cinema/directors/kubrick/pic/korova5.jpg[/noparse] Korova Milk Bar?

20

DIY stuff from normal furniture.
Coffee table - glass top then buy a set of those “teeth” the truckers like to put in their grills. Trim to size.

Chair - get one with open arm rests and leg supports, like dining room chairs or sitting room chairs. Take some old belts and trim off the extra lentgh. Leave just enough so that when screwed to the underside of the arms or to the back of the fromt legs; they would function as restraints. Of course, trim the end and add the appropriate buckle holes. Some odd electrical gizmos attached with various battery clamps and alligator clips would add some additional conversation points.

Some wall prints of things like Tesla’s electrical experiments or the Sing Sing electric chair would fit the decor.

Mundane fabric on chairs or throw rugs can be spiced up with “simulated” blood stains. Not too red as dried blood tends toward a deeper blackish red.

Accessories could include small shards or remnants of “crime sceen” or “police line” tape. The yellow would be a nice contrast to deep red.

Lampshades, windowshades, and drapes with bullet holes are a nice touch. I believe you can buy window “bullet hole” decals from novelty shops on line.

Antique leg hold traps can surround drink coasters.