Everybody’s got one; it was your grandmother’s, or a child made it, or you hate it, SO loves it, whatever…
Mine is this picture of the Crucifixtion (yes, that one) done on black velvet, with a White-Out white wooden frame.
SO bought it at a roadside sale from some supposedly starving artist dude who he felt sorry for back in college.
I think one or both of them were probably high at the time.
It’s got this rolling purple sky behind the 3 crosses, and each person has on a pair of what looks suspiciously like spandex bike shorts. I think, green on the left, blue on the right, purple on J.C.
SO is the superstitious type-he keeps a Bible in his glove compartment, etc. I think that’s great. However, this abomination is HANGING OVER OUR BED, where he is perfectly happy for it to remain.
Even if he were the most religious guy in the world, which he ain’t, I don’t think a bike-shorted velvet Jesus is exactly the most appropriate depiction, y’know?
:rolleyes:
Does anyone else have anything around as bad as this?
Well, this one is technically in gonzogal’s house at the moment, but will be ending up in our house once we’re hitched. And I have only myself to blame. In Perros-guirec, France, I bought her an ugly, ugly, UGLY little doll. It’s about 6 inches high, wearing the traditional dress of the Bretons:
(approximately)
Unfortunately, at the scale of the doll, the “coifre” (the tall lacy hat) looks like a tampon. And the doll’s face is (unlike the girls in that picture) hideous. Imagine every twilight-zone induced creepy doll image you have come up with, and cross it with a paticularly ugly monkey, and you’ll get the idea. With a big smile that seems to say, “Bonjour, I’m here to kill you in your sleep!”
The few hours of laughter I got when she first saw this thing will surely be drowned by years of nightmares once this thing moves in with me, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone I love very much gave me a hideous stained-glass window. It’s enormous—about three by four feet—framed in heavy wood, and ugly as sin. No, actually, much uglier than sin. it depicst a langorous woman gazing out of a window, and it’s done in faux-1930s (actual 1970s) style, apparently executed by an animal that had not yet developed opposable thumbs.
I have tried everything to get rid of it . . . Last time I moved, I offered the movers a tip to “accidentally” break it, but they told me they get asked that a lot and have rules against it. I offered it to The Museum of Bad Art, but even they don’t want it . . .
I think it’s the big screen TV that my husband insisted on buying when we moved into the house that we’re in now. No one needs a TV that you can see from the street when the curtains are open. For truly hideous decor, thgouh, it’d have to be what we have come to refer to as THE RUG. Hubby’s father owned a shoe store for many years in Auburn, AL. He had a rug (about 3 ft by 4 ft) with the Hush Puppy dog on it in the store. When he retired and closed the store, he proudly gave his firstborn this monstrosity. To make matters worse, hubby decided to HANG IT ON THE WALL. When we moved (into the house with the big honkin’ TV), I made him put the damn thing in the attic. I used the TV as my bargaining chip.
I did an oil painting of a Clive Barker “Books of Blood” comic book cover. It’s a face ripped off, nailed to the wall, with various part of it sewn up with needle and thread. I actually did one hell of a job on it. I’m very proud. But most people see it and say “Wow, you painted that? Whoa, gross!!”
You’re right… they were my wife’s grandparent’s endtables and she loves 'em even though the only thing in the house they match is the toilet seat. Hey, maybe I’ll move them in there!
Admittedly, I’ve got an item as well. There was a Dallas artist named Franklin 20 years ago that was real big in Deep Ellum and a lot of the trendy restaurants with his airbrush paintings until he went to jail for a long time for drug posession in Hawaii. I paid 500 for this egg that’s suspended in space and reflecting a sunrise. What can I say, I was ecstatic at the time.
I thought about putting it in the nursery but my wife feared it would lead our child to use acid.
I have (no…make that my husband has) a picture of Clint Eastwood laminated to slightly burnt plywood (to give it that old west, rustic flavor). It is so hideous. I hung it in the computer room where most people won’t see it. Poor guy…he has no clue.
We used to have this icky ceramic bowl shaped like a walnut. A walnut the size of a cantelope. It had a lid, and everything–you know, the other half of the walnut shell. Giant, walnut-shaped cantelope-sized bowl, an ugly unwalnutlike dark brown in color, with a not-at-all-to-scale squirrel perched on the top as a, uh, I guess it was meant as a handle.
We got it as a “door prize” at a party, where they were giving away about half good stuff, and half white-elephant stuff from their house. I tried to trade it to someone else for some hideous plastic-canvas coasters, but unfortunately they agreed with me that the coasters were the far better prize.
Happily, the cat knocked down the walnut bowl one day and it broke. The hubby helpfully suggested that it might be glued back together. HAH!
Mirrors. Lots of mirrors. A whole wall of mirrors. At one time before the wife and I moved in this house in 1989, some must have gotton a good deal on mirrors, 12" by 12", held to the wall with foam double back sticky squares. One whole wall in the living room is covered with them, floor to ceiling, a shade over 14 feet wide. In the dining room, alternating dark brown paneling and mirrors, 2 feet of each on 2 of the walls. In the bathroom, there are a couple rows of mirrors, floor to ceiling on one wall. I have made a couple of attempts to remove the ones in the bathroom but I keep breaking them. I need something to cut through the foam sticky pads without clogging up. I have an old bandsaw blade that I am going to try next.
Damn it racer72, I was gonna say mirrors. Well since thats been taken, I will say my NOFX poster. Its a poster for their The Decline EP (best punk album of the 90’s IMO). A 50’s house wife holding up a skinned chicken by the legs, showing its naughty bits to the world. This is in the corner of our living room over my computer. When we move this summer it will probably stay with my computer which will be in the computer room. A hopefully less traveled area.
dead0man
The shelving unit next to my husband’s side of the computer desk. The shelves themselves aren’t ugly, but his complete lack of organization, with cables and computer parts and un-filed papers, and cd-roms, and well…just everything is sooooo ugly it makes me want to scream.
Never offer a “tip” when a couple of fifths of rum will do. And avoid the head man at all costs.
Find the guy with the roughest edges, pull him aside, offer him the bottles with the incentive that “there’s plenty more of that where it came from” if he happens to trip loading the truck.
You’d be surprised what people will do for free booze.
I have this…thing…and I don’t even know its scientific name.
Its not a sun dial, but similar.
Something about the sise of a beachball, on a stand, with a
ring around the “equator” the “Prime Meridian” and Two other
bands at 90 and 45 degrees, respectively.
An arrow goes through the “poles” and points to the sun.
I think its used to calculate declination or something.
It belongs outside, but sits proudly atop the entertainment center.
Objectively, that would be the stuffed frog, my best 25-cent garage sale find yet. He sports a cheese-eating grin as he [she?] stands on his hind legs and holds his miniature violin. “Froggie” stands proudly on display on a bookcase in my foyer. Major hideola, but it cracks me up to see people’s reactions to it.
Subjectively, though, that would be (in NJ, no less) my kitchen shrine to the U. of Miami football program. Ken Dorsey poster, news clippings, pennant, etc. To fans of Notre Dame, Penn State, Michigan, Boston College, etc., surprising them with the shrine is the equivalent of springing crosses and garlic on a vampire, heh heh heh!
And then there’s the growing pink flamingo collection, also (mostly) in the kitchen. People just keep giving them to me… everything from lawn ornaments to X-mas tree ornaments to magnets and swizzle sticks. Definitely a question of taste.
I had a wonderfully hideous Kitchen Chicken. I think it was intended as a planter, and probably for those “hen-and-chicks” succulents. It was large, had a big open back and openings over each wing (making the wings sort of pockets in the planter), and it was glazed in bittersweet, brown, harvet gold, avocado green and white spatter-and-drip glaze. When my favorite aunt died, she left it to me as a joke, since I had always kidded her about it. I promised to give it to her grandson on his wedding day, filled with pink flowers. HOWEVER… it lived on top of the refrigerator, and my husband pulled it to the front edge to rummage about in it (it was a handy catch-all for stuff) and when I opened the freezer door, it fell on my head and shattered into fifty million pieces. I didn’t think I would miss it until it was gone. snif
I have a huge painting of some regal looking man in a hat with his hand on backwards with a monstrous gold embossed frame that’s been passed down probably four generations of my family. We call it the ‘family curse’ - the first married daughter inherets it as a wedding present. (Needless to say, NONE of us married young) My sister married before I did, got the painting, but upon divorcing, asked me to ‘hold on’ to it for her until she got a new permanent home for it. I think that’s been five years now. I gotta remember to send that sucker back to her. Thanks for reminding me.
I also have a stool that has (FAKE) deer legs for legs.
My husband owns a frighteningly large amount of Godzilla memorabilia, including our front door welcome mat.
Use the metal high e string from an electric guitar. Either wear gloves or wrap the ends around small blocks of wood so that you can saw it back and forth.
