G-Spot & Vaginal v. Clitoral Orgasms

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
21

OK, the penetration thing…

I prefer penetration too. It feels good. It leads to orgasm if it’s done right. Does that mean that it’s a vaginal orgasm? NO!!! You seem to miss this point on purpose, in order to lend support to your theory that I’m wrong about female orgasm. If you start out that way, we’ll never learn, you know? I have an orgasm when penetrated only if there is adequate clitoral stimulation. In the case of regular good old missionary position sex, this comes from the male pubic bone pressing on my pubic bone. That constitutes clitoral stimulation. Yes, it does indeed. And it can lead to orgasm.

Beyond that, yes, penetration can feel good. Even without orgasm. It’s a kind of closeness that can be wonderful. And sometimes it’s an expression of the kind of love that we read about in books, the kind when you sometimes offer something to your lover because you care so much. My ex and I would each give for the other. Often he would make love to me until I reached orgasm and then roll over and go to sleep. I would fake it with him sometimes so that he would feel more secure. It happens.

And guess what, guys? In all those years, he never caught on that I faked it…

22

You sure seem fixated on your ability to be dishonest…

Unless the entire female gender is simply full of it, however, I have to point out that women who seem to think it’s so easy to just fake it must be sleeping with some really stupid men. I’ll grant that, perhaps, there are a few women out there who have enough control over their muscles to make themselves tremble in such a manner that they’re essentially vibrating, but you’d be hard-pressed to convince me that, as a rule, such a muscular reaction has to be involuntary.

In other words, for the most part, a guy worth his salt can, indeed, spot a fake orgasm a mile away. Only someone who’s never participated in one is going to be fooled just by screams, moans, and thrashing around.

~jon

23

Jess: I didn’t say “always.” I said they told me what they preferred, and I believed them. There was only one who insisted on intercourse as the best (not only) way for her to achieve orgasm. Her exact words to me were, “I believe in the G-spot.” It worked for her, so who am I to object?

Holg: No, I do not commit the same error I attribute to others. I never rejected mle’s testimony; I rejected her reasoning. I believe her testimony.

As far as not being able to tell whether an orgasm is faked, there are physiological responses that distinguish the real thing. I can’t pretend to be capable of stepping back to make an accurate and impartial scientific analysis at the time, so yes, it is more than possible to fool me. But that doesn’t mean that the truth is never detectable.

But don’t you think this is off the point of the original thread, which was about the existence of the G-spot? Even mle, who first raised the issue of faking it, has now said that she enjoys penetration and that it can lead to orgasm if done right. Her initial response to RTFirefly, instead of dismissing the orgasms as faked, could instead have suggested that an alternate explanation for them: they really resulted from clitoral stimulation after all. That is certainly a thought were considering seriously considering, and I do consider it seriously–much more seriously than the original suggestion that women who report orgasms from vaginal stimulation were just faking it.

24

My input on Faking it.

It must be said that these rules of thumb exclude any totally inexperienced people on both parties and those too young/immature to understand the anatomy of the situation.

First, only a woman who has had several real orgasms can successfully fake one.

Second, most men (I know I can) can spot a poorly faked one, or one where the woman is not interested at all.

Third, most men don’t give a shit if you fake or not. Your only cheating yourself.

Fourth, I think there is a G-spot, and women I’ve been with and some who i actively try finding it on all were very greatful. They either came, or really enjoyed themselves. And if they faked it, well that really doesn’t effect me. If they don’t feel good enough about themselves to be honest, there no reason or way I can help them.

Flame away!

The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. The distinction is
yours to draw…

Omniscient; BAG

25

Once again, anecdotal evidence is not proof. However, my experience leads me to think that there really may be two ways of reaching the big O; clitoral and G’al, if you will. (I refuse to get into the fakery issue.) I’m one of the apparently rare females who can achieve orgasm most easily through penetration, so have had many years of the experience. In the last few months, my long-term mate and I started engaging in a different position, which provides stimulation in an internal way. The clitoris doesn’t feel particularly involved. The resulting buildup and climax are unlike the ‘usual’ previous experience. And, I might add, an improvement over an already good thing.

26

I don’t remember saying that the women in the original post must have been faking it. I remember trying to say that just because some women apparently reached climax through vaginal penetration, or whatever RTFirefly was doing to them, didn’t mean that it was proof positive that the G-spot existed. I also thought it was arrogant of a man to step in and give the definitive answer regarding female orgasm.

27

Thought I ought to check back in…seems the responses so far fall into three categories: about the G-spot, about other orgasm-related phenomena, and about me. I’ll respond to the last first, then back to the good stuff.

MLE, thanks for making my week; I’m not called arrogant very often. Funny, I didn’t post this thinking I was correcting women about orgasms; I was trying to set Cecil straight. Yes, women have more direct experience of their own orgasms than I do, and I would have appreciated it if a woman had written in. But it had been eight years since the original column, and I figured that was long enough to wait.

Two things, FWIW: first, the girlfriends in question tended to be pretty blunt about what was working and what wasn’t, which suited me fine; and second, I didn’t exactly give a play-by-play: ‘now I’m licking your clit, now I’m inserting a finger into your vagina and stimulating your G-spot’; rather, I did what I did, and let the woman’s responses tell me what was working and what wasn’t. BTW, the means of stimulation was my index finger, so I had a pretty good idea of what I was touching. If a woman is clearly climaxing, the only direct clitoral stimulation is a soft spring breeze, and my finger is stimulating a spot two inches inside her vagina (on the front wall, incase anyone’s wondering where to look), and this happens with several different women, it’s hard for me to come to another conclusion.

While that doesn’t constitute proof, mathematics is the only field where anything gets proven anyway. (Nobody’s ‘proved’ the law of gravity; it’s just that there’s a ton of evidence supporting it, and approximately zero evidence contradicting it, so there’s no ongoing debate. Very much unlike here.)

Since I was going for succinctness in my original post, I neglected to mention that a number of books have discussed the G-spot, and a few have been devoted primarily to it, most notably the 1982 book, ‘The G-Spot’ by Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry ($5.59 at Amazon, and worth every penny), which was how I found out about it. My experiences, observations, or whatever, have dovetailed precisely with those of the women they interviewed.

BTW, interesting article, coffeecat; if there’s that much more to the clitoris than we’ve believed all these eons, then the vaginal/G-spot orgasm really may be a clitoral orgasm.

And finally, Jess, thanks for tossing in the comment about women often finding sex very gratifying without orgasm. We men, by and large, have been hardwired by evolution to find it very unsatisfying to stop short of orgasm, so it’s just hard for us to have a gut-level understanding that this might be different for women, and we’ll only believe it after hearing it a few million times. My wife has said it, and I’ve heard it from other women, but it’s only starting to slowly sink in.