gay christians

can a gay person be a christian?
all christians have homosex, they just do it on the side. christians preach against living the homo lifestyle. they want you to get married an have children an then have the homosex on the sly. so its ok to be gay an christian, ALL CHRISTIANS HAVE HOMOSEX ON THE SLY.

You… you don’t know what words mean, do you?

I wish the OP was set to music. I feel like it could really be a great jam or maybe an angry Rage against the Machine sorta anthem. Or perhaps a folky rock song? Or an old school Rap song done by like Snoop Dogg…

They just do it on the Side (Do it on the Side? Do it on the side!)
They just do it on the Side!
Do it on the side? (Wut wut?)
HOMOSEX!
:insert record scratches:
Homo-Homo-Homosex on the Sly!

:insert Linkin park Screaming vocals here:
“ALL CHRIIIIISTIANS HAVE HOOOOOOMO-SEX ON THE SLYYYYYYY!”

yeah i’m pretty sure you can find that in the bible somewhere

Verily, it is as St. Paul said: “it is better to homosex than to burn.”

Or something like that.

OK, you’re now my favorite Doper, ever. EVER. Sorry, all the gun people, etc, you’ve been replaced. Indistinguishable is now my number one most favorite Doper of all time.

I can’t believe you actually referenced the “Edmund Premington” skit from Mr. Show in a thread here.

That’s my all time favorite comedy sketch of any kind, on any show, bar none. Again I’m amazed that someone else not only knows about it, but would actually link to it here. Bravo, bravo, bravo.

ETA - I’ve recited this skit (the Odenkirk part, anyway) verbatim, at gatherings - it always gets mega-laughs.

I am just about crying from laughing so hard. A beautiful effort, sir. golf clap

Try to keep on topic with factual answers, please.

Actually, my partner and I have tried “doing it on the side,” and found it to be rather uncomfortable. Top and bottom work better. But we’re not Christians; maybe they have a different center of gravity.

Special Christian Homosex side-bed.

But our arms are not as great a problem as our scrotums (see post #2).

To humor the OP, there are many denominations of Christianity, many for which HOMOSEX is not allowed, but also a few for which it is allowed. For the ones in which it isn’t allowed, it’s still considered a sin if it’s “on the side” although in some cultures/time periods this is considered normal and people will look the other way if it’s not brought to their attention.

That’s alright, just slip them into your vagina.

all christians are heterosexual they do it in the missionary position preachers tell them to breed from the pulpit and not use contraception because the pope says so unless they do not recognise the pope which some of them do not so they can use contraception unless they are being homosexual because then they do not need contraception so it is ok to be a heterosexual christian because the bible says go forth and multiply and god did not mean mathematics and I REALLY WISH POSTERS WOULD USE GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION AND IT WOULD HELP IF THEY WERE NOT POSTING UNPROVEN GENERALISATIONS AND

I burning your Christian.

I so want to change my user name to Homosex On The Sly.

This question is inappropriate for General Questions, and as stated is unsuitable for Great Debates, or as far as I can see any other forum here as well. If the OP wishes to frame a debate on this question, he is welcome to open another thread in GD. I would, however, also remind him of the rules against trolling on this message board.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator