Gay Dopers: A poll

The thing with the word “gay,” for me, is this:

A long time ago “gay” was a perfectly normal word. It meant “happy or merry.” Fine. Every English speaker has a perfect right to use a valid word. It’s their language, they can do what they want.

At some point, “gay” became a euphemism for homosexual. Not to be pedantic, but euphemism means, “the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant.” So right from the get-go, “gay” referred to something unpleasant (to put it mildly).

Somewhere along the line homosexuals took the word as their own. I don’t know if it was supposed to be empowering or some shit, but they did.

The problem is the word never earned respect in popular culture. I guarantee you every time someone says “that shirt is so gay” or “this party is so gay, let’s get out of here” they do not mean “gay” as in “happy & merry.” They’re using it in the second sense, that is, a euphemism for homosexual, and homosexual clearly meaning bad, stupid, dorky, weak.

Let’s look at the word “niggah.” Sure, some comedians like Chris Rock will use the word to refer to blacks who are basically “stupid mother-fuckers.” But he’s black, and he’s using it on his own kind to make a joke. Make people laugh. Relieve tension. But when a black guy refers to another black guy as “niggah” he really means, “fellow black/African American dude, with whom I’m showing solidarity and respect.” Even white kids now want the right to use “niggah” with their friends. As much as the word raise the hackles of some of us old farts, as much as it may still be a painful word to hear to a lot of people, the word basically has won the respect of pop culture. When a white kid says “yo niggah, wha’s up?” he’s basically saying, “hey, I respect you, how are you doing?” The word, like it or not, has become a good thing.

How about “bitch” or “slut?” All the women I know are proud to be a “bitch.” For them it’s empowering. It means “I’m strong, independent and can take care of myself.” Imagine a woman coming home to her roommate late on a Saturday night and saying to her roommate, “God, I was such a slut tonight!” Her roommate would be like, “you go girl! What was his name?” You see, “bitch” and “slut” have become good things to be proud of in popular culture.

“Gay” has not been adopted by pop culture has a good thing. It’s not empowering. It still means means “bad.” No straight guy has ever turned to his buddy and said, “you’re so gay” and meant it in a good way. He wasn’t saying “I think you’re cool & I’m showing you respect, because gay is cool.” He was teasing him and basically saying, at the very least, “you’re a dork, shape up and don’t act like a homosexual, because you know, homosexual is bad.”

Every time you use gay as a euphemism for “dorky, dumb, weak or generally unpleasant” you’re letting your friends, co-workers, peer group & family know that gay is bad.

It’s not just “a valid English word.” You can’t just use it 'cause, you know, “it’s just a word man, don’t be so sensitive.”

Tell you what, if you really want to use the word “gay,” start using it every time you would normally say “cool.” Then, eventually, it’ll be a perfectly OK word to use.

Well, it sounds nicer than “homosexual,” which at the time was a DSM category (much like other options such as “invert” and “androgyne”), and is also shorter and easier to spell.

Of course, you’re taking this from the boy who lives in a city where “Queer” is the most common word to describe the GLBTT community thereof, and who’s never met an insulting word that didn’t become uproariously funny when he applied it to himself, so YMMV.