I often work with teens with their independent living skills, and ocassionally I get the opportunity to work with gay youth. From your experience, what particular skills would you teach young gay people to prepare themselves for living on their own? Or do you feel that gay teens don’t particularly need an identifiable special skill set in order to be successful? What advice/skills did you wish you had when you were first starting out?
Just to give you an idea of what I am talking about, when I work with preparing teens for living on thier own, we usually go over practical stuff like how to use a bank, filling out applications, simple car repair, how to get an apartment, etc. We also go over self help, social, and people skills, like how to get along with a roommate, what to do if you feel really sad, how to interact with your family as an adult, conflict resolution and stuff like that.
That is a pretty generalized area to discuss - all teen need some life lessons, Gay or not.
But to help, perhaps you should check out the PFLAG websites to see what they have to say.
Personally, I knew I was Gay at about age five (seriously) and spent my whole life planning to move away from my small, Midwestern home town as soon as I was able.
Life isn’t easy for a Gay teen, and in a small town, it is seldom easier.
If at all possible, I think a move to a larger town/city is the first step I would suggest making - if for no other reason than to find other Gay people and build a circle of friends. Many teens already feel isolated, but a Gay teen in a small town is really in a difficult position. Not that every small town is homophobic, but let’s be honest - tolerance of the local queer boy is not the same as acceptance in a large®, urban environment, with more social opportunities.
The basic stuff everyone needs:
-How to cook real food for yourself
-Paying the bills on time, all the time, and why you should
-Keeping the place clean
-What do do when stuff goes wrong- basic home repair/how to hire a plumber
-Getting and keeping a job
The stuff that gay kids prematurely kicked out of their parents’ homesmight especially need:
-Effective stress management
-Drugs and alcohol- which ones, how much, and when to abstain
-Making and keeping healthy friendships and relationships
-Gay pride and gay history- learning to like who you are even when no one else does
They should learn what all the fine print means on contracts they will run into- cell phone, credit cards, auto warranties.
And then they should teach their parents.
They reprinted it more recently. I recomend getting a copy as well.
I’d say you don’t have to change the skill sets you teach just adjust the deliver a bit to make sure your ultra inclusive. Gay teens often take a dispreportionate responce to things that could be very mildly homophobic.
Also I it doesn’t violate any rules or what not make condoms availible gay boys need alot of condoms.
Nah, that last paragraph is an example of my generic usual schtick.