Gay Man With A Caveat

The BBQ Pit
81

Iampunha, please never use the phraseNaked Ann Coulter again. The mind reels.

And I’m still a little queered by the usage: I’m sure not going to be comfortable calling y’all a bunch of “sexually deviant queers,” no matter how much some individual or the other might piss me off. Sounds too much like “defective homo” to me.

I note that the debate is a little shaded, since “normal” words to categorize minorities are frequently “taken back” by the minority and canned. e.g. Colored->Person of Color->Black->African-American, handicapped->differently abled, Moron->Retard->Slow->Mentally challenged, etc. Many of these were “official” self-identifiers, only to be changed the next year, so yeah, we could agree on a word, but Act-Up could “sensitize” us to the insulting nature of it tomorrow. It’s all rather trendy and power through linguistic control – In times past, “queer” meant merely odd, strange, and “liberal,” meant flexible. Call me stubborn, I still don’t get the beef with “abnormal,” but… onto the wordplay:

I think you really want to be able to say “X power!” Where X encompasses all the, for want of a better word, “abnormal” sexual flavors. (Hey, I like that – abnormal sexual flavors) So, let’s see:

Hmm. Nontraditional sexual power? Well, I like it, but some people’d jump about all the gay traditions impugned. Ah, well.

Weakside hitter? It’s abnormal but decent. But who plays volleyball? Opposite field hitter power? No, that won’t do.

Unusual sex power! Ha! Sounds like a Japanese slogan. Product grants consumer Unusual Sex Power! Hei-Ya!

Well, that’s the best I can do without a mandate…

82

Good reel or bad reel?:smiley:

83

I’d like to self-identify as queer, but I feel I should date a few men first. Homosexual, bisexual, or lesbian all sound too clinical. Gay seems to refer mostly to homosexual men these days. And most of the other terms suggested here, I don’t think I could say with a straight face. Er, let’s change that to “say without laughing.” Besides, queer is such a great word. It’s fun to say, and I like the additional connotation of unusual or uncommon. Doesn’t everyone want to think of themselves as unusual or uncommon? It sounds, I dunno, fun and intersting to me. I suppose it helps that I’ve never heard the word used as an insult in real life. I’ve never heard a homophobe get angry and call somone a queer. They usually go for something with more teeth in it.

Clearly, the exact connotations of “queer” are going through a lot of flux right now, and everyone should keep that in mind. For those of us who like the term, we should keep in mind that a lot of people still don’t and we should be careful about using it in mixed company. And for those who still fell it’s an insult, just remember that there are a lot of people use the term entirely without bias or insult, and should give people the benefit of the doubt when they hear it used.

Which, judging by this thread, is pretty much what people are already doing. No, don’t thank me for pointing out the obvious. Just doing my job.

84

I hope you haven’t offended any crippled people with that careless remark.

85

Sorry, but I’m going to have to thank you anyway. You’ve expressed very clearly and succinctly what I’ve been trying to say.

Thanks much. Very well put.

86

I keep getting reminded of Lt. Gruber.

87

“Allosexual?” Sounds like you like to have sex with carnivorous Dinosaurs.

88

:confused:

All I get out of this is that gay men have identities as individuals, apart from their sexuality. Great, but I still don’t know if you agree with the OP or not. For what to be true?

89

Personally, I like the word queer. To me it seems almost playful. It implies unusualness (but to me that is a good thing)… .I wasn’t raised thinking of “queer” as an insult. In fact, most of the GLBTX people that I know use the word.

It becomes hard to remember who likes a word and who is offended… for the most part I just don’t use any word… but I think it would be nice if people could just deal with a word when it isn’t being used in a malicious way. Maybe you don’t like “queer” but if someone isn’t using it as an insult… shrug it off. Why be offended?

90

Funny, I thought they were into succulent desert plants. Or maybe they were trying to soothe burns on their naughty bits…

I know when I was a kid, we innocently played a game called “smear the queer,” in which one boy got a football, and all the other boys tried to tackle him. Eventually, the “queer” would throw the ball in the air, and another boy would catch it and become the new “queer.”

When I was a boy, I had no idea what “queer” meant, and I’m horrified now at the game.

At the same time, though a breeder, I’m thoroughly used to the word “queer” being used now as a value-free descriptor, applying to all sorts of non-straight folks. Hell, I’ve considered myself queer on occasions, being something of an androgynous sissyboy. I didn’t really realize that, outside of obnoxious childhood games, the word was still used as an epithet.

In fact, I hear the word “gay” used as an epithet more often.

Nonetheless, CajunMan, I figure it’s just plain good manners not to use words around someone that they don’t like. I’m glad to know that the word bothers some folks (as in, thanks for telling me – not as in, yay! you’re bothered!), and I’ll henceforth be more careful in using it.

No way no how, though, am I talking about Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Allies. Too damn long. And it leaves out us sissies.

Daniel

91

I, too, frequently use “queer” to refer to the LGBT community. In fact, at my workplace, the Resource Center also often refers to the “queer community.” In general discussion or correspondence, I actually say “LGBT,” among friends I’ll say “queer,” and among gay friends I’ll say “fag.” All of them are either matter-of-fact or kidding around.

I’m sorry you feel this way, Cajun, and I hope you understand that if I slip and use it in your presence (which I will endeavour to remember not to do) that I meant it to be inclusive, not insulting.

Esprix