I would like to propose; you have such the sense of humor.
However, our marriage must remain celibate.
You are free to accept or reject this offer.
(I want to be a stay at home mom though, okay?)
Sarcasm is a blunt tool, most especially in writing. Further is it rude to make fun of the truly-held beliefs of those who disagree with us on political matters. Opinions are after all opinions and sarcasm rarely changes opinion.
On the other hand, the OP was really great. Well worthy of publication.
(I also like the Gay Planet of the Apes idea.)
I’m speechless, what can I say ? Bravo Hamish.
Oh, that’s reeeeal insightful. :rolleyes:
That is exactly what I’m talking about.
Truly held beliefs? “Gay Marriage will cause the end of civilization as we know it”? C’mon, of all the reasons people cite to oppose gay marriage, that’s up there at the top of the Most Hysterical Breathless Notions list. It ridicules itself, the hyperbole is already there.
I don’t think anyone even claims it’s in the Bible, that’s how wacky it is.
I agree completely. 
Get your hair products off me, you damned dirty homo!
Esprix, caught up in things
I’ve been waiting for someone to take responsibilty for soaring divorce rates, high taxes in Mass. and those danged 17-year locusts. Blech.
But you still have some ‘splain’ to do about global warming, inflation, Martha Stewart, the Trilateral Commission, tapeworms, lousy televison, circumcision, the proliferation of SUVs, L. Ron Hubbard, road rage, asteroids headed toward earth, rude service people, rude customers, tsunamis, spammers, crackers, Ebola virus, Jonathan Edwards, fat, HMOs, every political party, drought, blight, music fascists, impacted teeth, stupid ads, food poisoning, plate tectonics, Carrot Top, viral immunity, innacurate astrologers, blunting Occam’s razor, famine, pestilence, death and all those icky things that swim up one’s pores (or more sensitive regions, if one is of masculine persuasion) so common in warm fresh water.
Veb
Veb, you forgot the heartbreak of psoriasis 
Eve, I know others got in there first, because I didn’t see this until now, but pretty please? I’m straight, but for you I could learn! After all, I have had a spouse with breasts and girl-type naughty bits before.
BTW, I’m willing to take EddyTeddyFreddy and vanilla as well; i don’t know the others well enough, but what the hell? But I can’t be the only one working; I just don’t make enough to support us all in the style to which we’d like to be accustomed.
Oh, and animals are fine, but NO kids.
Eve if I was forced to marry any Doper, it would be you. However, I’m holding out for ET’s Cojo. I have such a thing for that gay guy.
I don’t care if this is the BBQ Pit, calling me a tool was uncalled for, and if you have a problem with my moderation you can go pis…what?
Oops, sorry-I forgot to put my glasses on this morning.
[Emily Litella]Nevermind[/Emily Litella]
on the other hand, the boradway production of “Stop the Planet of the Apes, I want to get off” would be fabulous…
Heh. He said “budgy.” Heh.
Oh, Doll-baby! You know you’ll always be my girl! C’mon…let’s ankle down to the justice of the peace and do this thing!
Hey, no problem! All eleven of us are fixed, so there’s no danger of miscegenation.
You say this in jest, but have you ever been to Harvard Yard on a late Friday afternoon?
Beautiful, Hamish!
Daniel
All I want to know is WHAT KIND OF SICK CARRIAGE ARE YOU DRIVING?!?