Right after I fell asleep last night, I heard it the first time. A coyote. I live adjacent to a number of farms in an area experiencing rapid residential growth. Coyotes are a way of life. But this one was close, sounded like it was in the field right behind us. It woke me up, but it also scared the crap out of fat Scarlett , who was draped over my legs.
So, fine I settle her down, and drift off to sleep. And the first dream begins, something about me running around like Running Man in some decrepit urban neighborhood. I was chasing a hooker that had grabbed some lady’s groceries. Something made me jerk awake from that.
Apparently, the act of jostling awake made Scarlett feel the need for attention, so I spent a few minutes rasslin’ with her. Just as she settles down, and we fall asleep again, Bus Kid pounds on the door asking me to make sure she’s awake at 9 this morning. In the act of setting my alarm, I note that it is now 1:30. Thanks Kid.
Next comes the longer dream. I’m somewhere at a party/gathering and there’s several women there, all with their husbands or SO’s - and these women are all from my past. As in, there’s a sexual history with them. But it’s a casual gathering with other people as well. This Tom Selleck looking guy walks up to me with a woman on his arm. She looks hot, in a sleazy kind of way.
He starts talking to me about my, um…my manhood. Says I am all the talk around this party, and that since he (insert name here, I forgot it) is the World Famous Porn Star noted for that very thing, that he’d like to see it in action.
I’m not the performing in public kind of guy, apparently even in the Land of Nod, and tell him so. Still he insists, and offers up the woman as my partner. I’m being egged on by the crowd, and so reluctantly agree. We undress, and she tells me to lie on my back. She sits across, straddling me and proceeds to pull out a bottle of massage oil and dump it on me, and herself, then starts this elaborate kind of massage/squirming thing while grinding against me. She is clearly enjoying this more than I am, I seem to be mostly watching and not getting “involved” if you will. I’m struck by how much better she looked with clothes on, as once she’s undressed, she looks to be older than I originally thought. Not all that well endowed, kind of splotchy, pale skin with washed out looking hair.
After a bit of this, Mr. Porn Star says he’s had enough, I agree and we stop. Next thing I know, I’m asking someone for a towel, and where’s the shower? I’m directed towards a door and told that’s a shower in there. Just as I approach, I see my co-star walk into the room. Ah, screw it I say, not like we’re strangers, right? I knock on the door, and hear her ask “who is it?”
She cracks the door a bit, sees me, and says “ok, come on in, there’s room for two” She starts the water, and I notice there’s only one shower. She starts apologizing for the idiot she’s with, and I ask about that whole squirming and oil thing. She tells me that’s what he likes and figures everyone else must too. She could tell I didn’t like it by my response, or rather, lack thereof.
So now, the shower’s hot, and we just go in together. She turns her back to me, hands me the soap. Just then, we hear voices outside. Mr. Porn Star has figured out I’m in the shower with her, and is asking to come in. I momentarily panic, and she says relax, he isn’t mad, he probably just wants to watch or join in. I insist he’s not joining in, nor will he watch. I seem to recall thinking “there’s nothing to watch, it’s just a shower”. Heh.
Penis ensues.
So I start soaping her back and her front, and she’s moving against me, and lo and behold, there’s Mr. Happy, finally making his presence known. She smiles, and says something about how glad she is to see that, and that it sounds like all the talk was true.
Next thing I know, Bus Wife is pounding me with her elbow and telling me to stop doing that to her bum, and could I just go back to sleep? Then she asks who was I was doing this time, was it at least someone living for a change? (Referring to the famous Audrey Hepburn/Breakfast at Tiffany’s dream some months back, in which I discovered Audrey’s rampant lustiness)
I decided she couldn’t handle these details at 3 am and tell her to go to sleep.
Mr. Happy and I also resume parade rest, and fall back asleep.
At 4, the frigging coyote started again. At 4:30, my alarm went off.
At 5, I was in line at Mac D’s for a jumbo coffee.
