Gee, I'm RICH!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

At least I can be soon:

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As the head of accounts department of GBNP,
I discovered some amount of money while I was
auditing accounts for the 2003 financial year
which has been lying there for over 3 years.
On further inquiry, I discovered that this
money totalling about USD$21.5 Million
(twenty-one Million five hundred thousand
United States Dollars) including accumulated
interest belonged to one MR Michael Osterkamp ,
a Germany Nationale who lived here and died intestate
with no beneficiary.This man died through a
plane crash of ADC airlines in 1998.
I have Successfully secured the money and
with the assistance of my colleague,the money
has been moved out of my bank and deposited in
a finances company. It was packed in three(2)metal
trunk boxes as photographic materials.I would
need your particulars to enable me prepare documents
which will authenticate that the Consignment
belongs to you as the next of kin to MR Michael
Osterkamp and to enable you claim the money.

All I’d need do is provide access to my bank account.

And be an idiot, of course.

:rolleyes:

2

Hey, it might be real. I mean what’s a little identity theft and bank fraud in exchange for $1.2 million? :smiley:

3

In other news, my penis would be long enough to encircle the Earth four times if I ordered every product expressing an interest in it and if the aforementioned products worked as obnoxiously advertised.

Bit of a shame, really. I think I’d really like to have a wang that scientists could use to measure distances in space. Although I’m not sure how possessing a manhood that’s been to more foreign countries than I have would make things any more intimate back home, it’d probably make interesting dinner conversation.

4

I’ve gotten so much spam inviting me to increase my penis size that I’m starting to think maybe I should. My husband thinks it’s a bad idea, though.

5

I got one just like that last night. Except the deceased had my last name so of course I would be the next of kin. Because I have a ton of Nigerian relatives, in the end. Coincidentally my next of kin was also worth 21.5 million dollars. Small world, eh?

6

ShibbOleth, well, heck. If everyone is going to be a multimillionaire, it stops being special. :frowning:
Out of curiosity: does your regular email address have your last name in it? Mine doesn’t, though that doesn’t seem to have given them pause in determining that I am the next of kin.

Did they offer you only a chintzy 15% cut, too? I wonder if I could negotiate that upwards… :wink:

7

And the money keeps on coming! If I can’t collect my inheritance from Dear Old Uncle Michael, it looks like the strangely illiterate Mr. Bernie Ebbers will keep me in bagels and beer for the rest of my life:

ATTENTION: STRICT/CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION

It is with heart full of hope that I write to seek your assistance on the subject below.I am Mr. Bernie Ebbers the former Chief Executive, WORLD COM, I got your contact address from the chambers of commerce and tourism and I was convinced of your excellent reputation and trustworthiness towards your business relationship worldwide.

Although I did not disclose to anybody the underlying motives behind my inquiries,because of the sensitive and confidential nature of this transaction,that is why I decided to contact you with the spirit that you would be in a good position to assist me.

I Have the total amount of US$60.5M (Sixty Million, Five Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars), which I got from over invoiced contracts I awarded to contractors for the supply of Telecommunication Equipments to WORLDCOM COMPANY in the U.S.A.

The money is currently kept in a trust deposit account with a finance /security organisation for safety.I am sure you must have read the story of the WORLDCOM bankrupcy in virtually all the newspapers and magazines around the globe.

I considered it wise to look for a means to transfer the money to a trusted account abroad for safe keeping and subsequent investment.

You are however assured of a 100% risk free transaction, if only you can keep it secret, because all the modalities towards the transfer of this money to your account has been perfected. Also bear in mind that our Government is still not aware of the money. To this regard, I am prepared to offer you 25% of the total amount for your sincere efforts.

If you are interested, please kindly get back to me, and I will introduce you to my Attorney, so that he can enter negotiation with you and he will furnish you with more details on how this transaction will be perfected.

As you must know, my phone and fax numbers are already bugged by the Government security agents to monitor all activities and discussions going on in my family. Also copy of this letter has been sent to my lawyer. Because of the secret nature of this transaction and for us to conclude this transaction without any hinderances and problems, all communications in regards to this transfer will be strictly via e-mail.
Since your present e-mail address is your office e-mail address, I will advice you to open another e-mail address specially for this transaction, I will appreciate it if you can do so, because we must be security concious.

Bear in mind that this transaction requires the higest level of confidentiality needed to actualise it so if you know you are not interested in this transaction, you are very free to tell me and I can look for another person that can assist me. To this end, you must not expose this deal to any body. More information will be given to you by my attorney as soon as you show your interest.

Your urgent response is needed, PLEASE FORWARD ALL YOUR CORRESPONDENCES TO THIS MAILBOX;
bernieebbers@indiatimes.com

Yours sincerely,
Bernie Ebbers
Former Chief Executive (World Com).

What I’m really curious is why I’ve started getting these messages now. I mean, I’ve had my email address for six years and never gotten more than the stay ‘bigger dick’ spam. And now people are crawling out of the woodwork to force riches on me. The only thing that has changed is that I’ve started posting actively here. Hmm.