I say we all chip in, make Opal our group honorary white elephant recipient, and send her a paper shredder. So she can shred that card.
Then burn it.
Then let the cat spray on the ashes when in heat.
Save the letter, just in case somebody continues this crap. I’m sure the message was written and not typed. The hand writing could be matched by police later, if this was to esculate.
I think the other neighbors will soon clue you into who’s household it is.
Enjoy the new house.
Some people are just cunts. It’s a shame, but its true.
If you read their message another way, you could interpret it as saying “Why are you dressed normally – this is a neighbourhood of weirdos.” Maybe they think you are too normal. Well, it’s better than the alternative. 
(Because I’ve never met you, I now really want to know what your hair and clothes do look like. As far as I can tell from a message board you are not some freak of nature, so I’m curious to know what they are talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not siding with the assholes at all, I’m just curious now.)
Are there any other vacant houses on your block? I’ll get a few of my obnoxious drinking buddies to move in and they’ll forget about you right away!
[sub](By the way, which one of you keeps sending me anonymous e-mails saying, “Look around and see what kind of message board you’re on?”)[/sub]
Sorry about the jerks in your new hood, and congrats on your new home. But it shouldn’t really surprise you that there are jerks in just about every neighborhood, does it? It really stinks, don’t get me wrong, but it seems pretty hard to avoid them entirely.
So my recommendation is don’t do anything differently than you would have otherwise - either positive or negative. Just live your lives the way you think best. Don’t let this jerk affect the way you live your life if you are convinced that what you are doing is the best for you. If you change in any way, than the jerk has won.
In my experience, the best you can hope for out of neighbors is politeness and that they maintain their property. They’re your neighbors, not your friends. Do other places have this saying that is common in Chicago? “Good fences make good neighbors!”
Dinsdale, that’s a line from a Robert Frost poem.
Opal, I am so sorry to hear about the rude neighbor. How upsetting! I can’t believe anyone would do such a thing. I wish I could come to your Dopefest and speculate on who it was! Congratulations on the new house, btw! Am I right in thinking that Nicky must be going into first grade? I really really hope I’m wrong, because it makes me feel old.
"You will be assimilated." What is this, the Borg or something??? Do any of your neighbors have grayish skin and tubes sticking out of their helmets? I’d suspect them first!
I guess that I’m pretty “normal”, but I’ve always figured that it meant that I was more boring than some on one level or another. Why would anyone strive to not be different?
Okay, I had to quote this cause it made me laugh. Yeah, the gray guy with the tubes would by my first suspect.
Anyway, screw 'em. Youse good people, don’t forget it.
Actually, you can feel old or young, your choice: he’s going to kindergarten. Again. (he was the second youngest kid in his school and not quite ready for kindergarten totally last year, but he went anyway. He made huge progress, but they feel that another year of kindergarten will give him a better base from which to start first grade)
Sweet, merciful, crap!!! I can not believe that people would do that! I mean, maybe they are arrogant losers who might think something like that, but to actually drop off a note?!?!?!
I can’t believe it! This makes me surprisingly mad! As soon as I read your post, Opal, my mouth fell open from shock.
I swear, the more adults I encounter in life, the more I realize that some people never grow out of the first grade. I remember when I was a kid, I thought everyone who was an adult was so mature and wise.
Man was I wrong!!!
You know what they say,
-
Location
-
Location
and
- Hi Opal!
Sorry, had to do that.
Look at it this way, It’s better than a big bag of flaming dog crap.
If you REALLY want to know which of your neighbors is the buttwad, just conduct this simple test.
Paint your house neon purple.
Paint the trim neon green.
Paint the roof flourecent orange.
Paint the boards on your fence, (If you have one) alternating random day-glo colors.
Tear out the lawn and plant native grasses and plants. (I.E. weeds.)
The first livid person on your doorstep will be that buttwad.
I garooontee it.
Being an ass will not indure you to the other nieghbors. Keep your cool and wait them out. You always find them eventualy.
Speaking as a parent of a first grader, let me assure you that my daughter would never write an anonymous hate letter to another person. Because she knows that would hurt their feelings. She might say to another child, “Why’s your hair so long?” but it would be said out of curiosity, not malice.
If people would only KEEP their first grade view of the world, we wouldn’t have as many problems as we do.
When i was in first grade, they made every kid give valentines to everyother kid. One sent to me anonymously said, “I hate you!” Some ppl are assholes at an early age.
Opal, I hope you enjoy your house and find that this is just an isolated asshole in the neighborhood. Best of luck, and congratulations on you new house.
G.M. Chrysler! Welcome to the frickin’ neighborhood, I guess. Wish I could send some of the nice folks and good neighbors on my new street down your way to cheer you up.
Let me know when you schedule your potluck DopeFest. I’ll come in one of my clapped-out Studebakers and leave it parked in front of the neighbors’ driveway. Of course, I’ll also bring an old couch so I can sit on your lawn in my underwear and drink cheap beer while cleaning my shotgun. That’ll shut 'em up.
Enjoy your new home and ^&#* the mother^&#$ers who think they’re being funny.
Yer pal,
Zappo
But Opal’s NOT normal! she swims in a cloud of blue/purple gas!
http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/opalcat.html
just kidding! (great eyes, by the way!)
Maybe you could make photocopies of the note, and podt it around the neighborhood… or go door to door, and invite then all to have coffee (or tea or whatever) and get to know you better, THEN havethe nicely framed note hung up by the door wherethey couldn’t miss it…
Oh I see how you are! Making fun of me just because I don’t breathe the same atmosphere as you! Hmph! You probably left the note, didn’t you? Didn’t you??
Well, I know it’s already been said, but I’m so sorry you have such a jerk in your neighborhood. I agree with those that say to keep the note just in case anything else comes up. Hopefully, though, this will turn out to be a one time only thing.
And congrats on the new house! That’s so exciting!
Is it possible that whoever wrote the note thought she lives in your house, and it was meant for her? Still unfortunate that you have to live near such a person, but you and UDD may not be the ones they have a problem with.
Anyway, I’m sure Nicky could charm the socks off any grouchy neighbor!