Not really… she looks as American as apple pie.
Darn.
In first grade, that means they have a crush on you.
No, i don’t think so. Later that day several kids held me down so others could beat me and kick me. I remember this clearly because they were mad that they had been made to send valentines to me and made me say I was sorry. Usually they just beat me to hear me scream. No one was my friend, no one liked me. I was tortured routinely. That card was just one more little moral coward doing his best to make me feel miserable.
Two words…Pink Flamingoes…
Get a whole stand of em. K-Mart sells the originals in breeding pairs(always look for the signature under the tail…all the originals are signed). Arrange them in differant patterns daily.
And today, they’re Opal’s neighbors.
My god, what a horrible thing for them to do. Look at it this way Opal, their just mean spirited cowards who will get back tenfold what they hand out. Something similar happend to my mom when she lived down South (England) and there was an old man below them, who complained when she put the washing machine on during the day. My mom has endless patience with people and never see’s the bad in them. Well, what he used to do, was at night turn his TV up blaring loud till all hours of the morning apparently to “get back” at my mom for daring to wash her clothes in the middle of the afternoon. Well, my mom being my mom, decided to try and smooth things over by putting a xmas card through his door, so what did he do? He ripped it in half and posted it back through my mom’s letter box. Grumpy old bastard!
That is about the size of it. The teacher im my grade school felt children should work out their own conflicts. Unfortunately that meant that the little sadists that hurt me learned they could get away with anything.
Opal, Don’t try to out this asshole, or annoy him. He will probably reveal himself soon enough anyway. If he does and keeps up harrassing behaviors, have him arrested. If you do these odd things ppl suggest your other neighbors will side wiht him, and why should you do anything in resonse to him? He does not deserve your attention.
"Two words…Pink Flamingoes… "
—Ohhh! THAT’S it! I’ll bet it was those jealous perverts, Connie and Raymond Marble, who left that note! Here’s what you do, before they start sending you bowel movements: break into their house and lick their furniture all over. Then kidnap them, take them out to the woods and shoot them after inviting the tabloid press. Afterwards, of course, you’ll have to live in gas station lavatories in Boise, Idaho, but it’ll be worth it!
Are you sure you don’t live near me? This has happened here, too.
The crotchety old man across the street has called animal control,(they found nothing wrong) and the police SEVERAL times, saying that poor little innocent me was having, get this, “wild parties at all times of the night and morning”!!! Meh! What people will do to keep their neighborhood to the bass ackwards idealistic standards they have really scares me…meh I say MEH!!!
Just popping in to say congratulations on the new house and not to worry about the nasty neighbors. You’ll win them all over in no time and they’ll be beggin’ for an invite!
So, how are things with the new house and Nosers opal?
We mostly stay inside the house, so I don’t see many neighbors very often. 
Btw, there are at least 3 townhouses in our complex for sale right now (3 within eyeshot)… who wants to move in?
You know, I moved into my first owned-by-me house in February. I haven’t had problem one with any of the neighbors, and they’ve all been polite as can be.
Of course, the fact that Mrs. Angel and myself habitually go conspicuously armed might have something to do with why a neighborhood full of upper middle aged people with the occasional redneck thrown in for good measure have been nothing but nice to the tall skinny gothboy and his wife.
YMMV.
What a wad of dick cheese. Well, don’t worry about it – this ardepithecus ramidus will get what s/he gives. If all they can do when someone moves in is write a nasty anonymous note then they must lead a sad, empty, hate filled life. Whatever you do, don’t take it personally. It’s not about you, it’s about them.
I tried to be charitable for a moment, thinking “maybe the person was a friend of the previous resident who was evicted for dubious causes …” then I thought “That’s still no damn excuse for being a coccygodynia (wow, after all these years I don’t know if I’m spelling that right). Unless you physically kicked the previous owner down the front stairs, the anonymous note is just effing childish.”
Congrats on your house, though!
The previous owner, Bonita, sold the house because she has MS and the stairs of a 3 level home were causing her too much pain. She moved to a single-floor home.