I wrote some big, long post then deleted it after realizing it was thrice as long as it needed be. So here’s the skinny:
Tonight there were some guys at the bar; they were allegedly important, I think basketball players or some such. I don’t really remember any of the particulars, and don’t really care. At some point politics came up, and all the hyper-partisans I know smiled and nodded in agreement, and almost blew one of the guys who professed to be the exact political opposite of them. I don’t bullshit, or blow people because they’re rumored to be important. I called the guy on his opinions which led to a spirited debate. It was an engaging conversation, even though I became periodically annoyed when he offered useless platitudes such as “What I like about this country is we all are entitled to our opinions.” No shit. I am not debating your right to disagree with me; I am pointing out that I believe you are wrong. But other than the grating catch phrases and talking points he insisted on throwing out, it was a good, honest debate.
After maybe 45 minutes, before leaving to go do important guy stuff, one of the men said to me, and this is as close to an exact quote as memory will supply me, “Politics aside, you have a lovely body.”
This made me angry.
The other guy said, and these are his exact words, “Sweeter than a milkshake.”
This made me *damn *angry. It fucking pissed me off that this is the way they would end a debate. It were as though they patted me on the head and said in that stupid voice you use to talk to babies and puppies, “Very good.” I don’t think I displayed anger, but I couldn’t help but to let out surprise. Just… what the hell?!
After they left, I voiced my anger to my (male) friend who said something to me like, “You always see things negatively.” When explaining what happened to the (female) bartender, she said she would have taken offense.
I don’t like that I was accused of not being able to take a compliment because I was bothered by this. I don’t like that this was considered to be a compliment. I don’t like that the conversation about the “compliment” rapidly degenerated into a discussion about my looks. I don’t care about my looks, and I don’t like that a conversation that has nothing to do with looks at all turns into one.
I also don’t like that based upon my highly scientifically sound sample size (three people) there seems to be a gender divide on how these things are perceived. I’m not sure what the point of this post is, but I’m done posting it now. Yes, my original posting was longer than this.