Gender divide? Feminist Overkill? (I'm not sure what to title this thread)

[Cat_Whisperer]

@rbroome

<snip>It is similar to two males who have a debate and afterwards talk about sports or cars or some other shared and non-controversial experience. It is an attempt to avoid lingering hard feelings. As to commenting on your appearance in an effort to relax any tension, remember this is in a public bar. Such a comment would have been inappropriate in a work setting-just as commenting on a proposal the company was working on together would have been inappropriate in a bar setting (or some other work-related topic).

So if MeanOldLady was MeanOldMan, it would have been, “In summation, nice car”? Still seems like a non sequitur to me.

[Polerius]

@rbroome

As they were leaving they changed the subject and gave you a compliment on your appearance. You may have not appreciated their compliment-that is your choice. But I see no way to interpret their compliment as denigrating the intellectual content of the earlier conversation. These were two separate events and clearly delineated as such.

FWIW, I asked my wife, who is a non-Doper, for her opinion on this and she agrees with the above interpretation of events.

Just another data point for MeanOldLady

[Cat_Whisperer]

This lolcat is made just for you, MeanOldLady.

[Bricker]

@MeanOldLady

After maybe 45 minutes, before leaving to go do important guy stuff, one of the men said to me, and this is as close to an exact quote as memory will supply me, “Politics aside, you have a lovely body.”

This made me angry.

For some reason, this exchange has been on my mind.

Tell me: if Guy #1 had said, “Politics aside, you have a lovely smile,” would you have been as infuriated?

[MeanOldLady]

@Bricker

For some reason, this exchange has been on my mind.

Tell me: if Guy #1 had said, “Politics aside, you have a lovely smile,” would you have been as infuriated?

Somebody asked me a similar question earlier in this thread (can’t remember the poster, can’t remember the exact wording, too lazy to look) which went something like, “How would you have responded if someone commented on the loveliness of your purse afterward?” I would have wondered what on Earth that had to do with anything.

[Omar_Little]

With regards to the OP, sounds like as things were winding down one of the players took a shot with his “body” comment. From what you described, it sounds like he was being extremely forward in his compliment to you and was completely separate from the earlier conversation you were having with them. (I.e. they were hitting on you.)

Unless I missed it, you did not say what your response to them was. Did they leave you speechless?

[Bricker]

@MeanOldLady

Somebody asked me a similar question earlier in this thread (can’t remember the poster, can’t remember the exact wording, too lazy to look) which went something like, “How would you have responded if someone commented on the loveliness of your purse afterward?” I would have wondered what on Earth that had to do with anything.

Purse is completely out there… I would assume some that says that is looking to change the subject, and wants to talk fashion or bargains.

But when someone says you have a lovely smile, they clearly wish to compliment you.

[MeanOldLady]

@Bricker

Purse is completely out there… I would assume some that says that is looking to change the subject, and wants to talk fashion or bargains.

But when someone says you have a lovely smile, they clearly wish to compliment you.

I would still wonder what that has to do with anything.

[Acsenray]

Is it worth putting my two cents in after all these months? (I just found this thread through a link to the golden quote.) Cooler heads might prevail at this point. If not, feel free to ignore.

Here’s my take, given that all I know is what I read in the OP: These guys engaged you intellectually and, then, when getting ready to go, complimented you physically. To me that looks like (attempted) respect on two levels. By engaging in a political conversation, they took you seriously on an intellectual level. (That they were probably not up to your level is their failing, but one must work within one’s limitation.) And then when it was over, they made an attempt to let you know that they also appreciated you on a sexual level. People do have casual relationships that cross such lines. It needn’t be one or the other, especially in a casual situation like a local watering hole.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@acsenray

Is it worth putting my two cents in after all these months? (I just found this thread through a link to the golden quote.) Cooler heads might prevail at this point. If not, feel free to ignore.

Here’s my take, given that all I know is what I read in the OP: These guys engaged you intellectually and, then, when getting ready to go, complimented you physically. To me that looks like (attempted) respect on two levels. By engaging in a political conversation, they took you seriously on an intellectual level. (That they were probably not up to your level is their failing, but one must work within one’s limitation.) And then when it was over, they made an attempt to let you know that they also appreciated you on a sexual level. People do have casual relationships that cross such lines. It needn’t be one or the other, especially in a casual situation like a local watering hole.

I’m sorry, but this is crap. The story MeanOldLady told in the OP smacks of nothing better than utter social cluelessness, and sexist condescension is a lot more likely. It’s like someone saying that, apart from my agnosticism, I am a credit to the black race.

[Cat_Whisperer]

You know, Skald, apart from your agnosticism…ah, I can’t do it. Too easy. Plus, the flying monkeys.

[Marley23]

Closing this at the request of the OP.