Gender English.........

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Women’s English:

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
I’m not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything

Ari Levine

2

That’s funny because we’re all the same.

3

Definitely, Francesca…and it was almost as hysterical as it was the first 5,000,000 times I saw it.

I’m managing to repress my guffaws, though.
:rolleyes:

4

Here we go again…

5

Did you come up with these yourself, or did you have help? :rolleyes:

Robin

6

Ok Ok I Give up! :smiley:

VB runs away, dodging the stuff being thrown at him by Righteously Indignant Board Wimmins!

I didn’t write this swill; I’m not a chauvinist; honest!
I actually also looked for the guy version (I’ve seen one) but couldn’t find it to post’em together.

Please don’t make me sleep in the doghouse again!

7

Do’t trouble yourself looking for the other version. Most people have received both in e-mails more times than they can count…

8

Don’t trouble yourself looking for the other version. Most people have received both in e-mails more times than they can count…

9

Yeah, you’re right, elf; pretty old, tacky stuff.

Ladies, forgive my faux pas, please.

10

No English Woman would say “butt” She’d say “ARSE” :slight_smile:

11

No English Woman would say “butt” She’d say “ARSE” :slight_smile:

12

We’re not fighting ignorance today?

13

So post the male version already. I think it’d be hilarious!

What, you deny me? Well then, you will be subjected to
THE MAN TEST!!!

http://priceless.bla-bla.com/Priceless-ManTest.htm
-Ben

14

I must be a failure as a “real Man”; I only scored 10%

15

I scored 0%, but went on to enjoy the rest of the web site.