Why do a lot of people still see women as less than unless they are with a man?
For example I used to date this guy- he was my first real boyfriend. After that my family especially and some friends started to become more concerned about my life-mainly my relationship. It really shocked me (not in a good way) because they never showed that level of concern before. I was in a dark place…before the relationship .and they ignored all my pleas for help…family and so called friends.now I am just reflecting upon it…it causes me to start thinking long we have to go in gender equality…
I think a lot of it is ingrained by culture and biology. Stereotypically, a woman needed a man to provide resources for her and their offspring. It is only in the last few decades that women became autonomous financially, but that doesn’t mean cultural attitudes that formed over centuries or biological heuristic beliefs will just go away.
It sucks that nobody card about your problems unless they were obsessing over your dating life though.
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Nobody ever helped me when I was at my lowest - dealing with depression and anxiety and a dying father - in spite of pleas for help. On the other hand, people have been extremely concerned and helpful after events I considered relatively minor - spraining my shoulder skiing. Kidney Stones.
If you’re expecting people in your life to respond to your life troubles with the same proportionality as you would personally rank them, you’re bound to be disappointed. Even coming right out and saying to people “This is the problem I really need help with, not the failed relationship” isn’t going to work, because they’re busy and you’re not the most important thing in their life.
I wouldn’t assume the disparate response is primarily due to sexism. Try breaking your thumb and see if anyone cares about that. I bet they will.
I’m not convinced this is a gender issue. In a certain age bracket and in certain circles at least, single people just aren’t taken as seriously as people in a stable, long-term relationship, in sometimes surprising and striking ways. Basically as if they weren’t real adults with real abilities, real concerns, real responsibilities and obligations, etc…
Since you’re talking about a first boyfriend, I’m assuming you’re quite young, like early 20s, which is going to make it doubly true : for some people you’re going to be seen as a kid, your abilities as dubious and your problems as unimportant kid’s problems until you can provide evidences of your adult status (employment, a mortgage, a spouse, ideally children…).
The good news is that it’s only temporary : when you’ll hit 50 and display some grey hair, your marital status shouldn’t make much of a difference anymore 