I’d be inclined to at least alert a family member, or the staff they were paying, that help might be needed caring for a 95-year-old heart patient with dementia if I were that ill. The lady was 65 herself, after all.
I resemble that remark!
I’m well over 65 myself but I would not consider a few days of fever and achiness a medical emergency. I don’t recall if I ever had a cold or flu during the time that I was caring for my dying wife or my mother with dementia, but if I had I still probably wouldn’t have necessarily called for help. Those symptoms would not prevent me from getting out of bed to take care of their needs.
I’m in my 60s and if I had a mild to moderate flu, I don’t know that I’d need to ask for anyone’s help caring for my partner. I do a walk of several hundred miles every year. I just moved 10 office boxes of paper off of shelves, worked with them, then piled them all back on a shelf over my head. Tonight, we plan to dance. Tomorrow, we’ll be setting up the spring garden. My mother, in her 80s, is still working part time, walks her dog, and does her own yard work. My point isn’t that everyone can, but that “mid-60s” is not decrepit.
Well, as we know age is relative. Each experiences some loss of function at milestones. There will always be high functioning people of older ages.
My Daddy was very active well into his 80s. He said "If you sit down because of a number on your DL, you’ll never get up, so pick a comfortable chair. "
Thank you.
Death can happen much more rapidly than the average person realizes. Combine that with living in a society where people routinely go to work even while ill and are under pressure to keep going even if they’re “a little sick”.
Hindsight by armchair quarterbacks is 20/20 or better. Ms. Arakawa simply did not realize just how sick she actually was. Even with medical treatment fatality is around 40% for hantavirus. During the Four Corners outbreak in the 1990’s a fit young man, 20-something who ran marathons, had been feeling a little off for a couple days, treated with the usual cold/flu OTC remedies, was riding with his family in a car. He suddenly had trouble breathing, the family stopped at a gas station and called for help. He collapsed and despite CPR and other first aid, as well as attention from paramedics and ER docs, he died from very sudden build of fluid in his lungs. Ms. Arakawa probably died in a similar manner, feeling off for some days, sudden breathing trouble, then rapid collapse. That case in the 1990’s led authorities to two more of people who had been feeling ill but not seriously so for a number of days who suddenly collapsed and died. On autopsy all of them had lungs that were filled with blood plasma, essentially drowning in their own fluids. Age was likely NOT a factor here because people half or a third of Arakawa’s age collapse and die from hantavirus in a very similar manner. When the lungs start filling with fluid collapse and death is very rapid even with immediate help nearby. These days people with hantavirus are hospitalized and readied for ECMO, because apparently that gives you best odds of surviving the “lungs fill with fluid” stage - but that requires knowing what disease the person has. Given the symptoms of earlier stages of hantavirus the assumption will be “flu like illness”, not “rodent borne likelihood of death”. Even if someone had been present when Betsy collapsed, even if they had called 911 immediately, she probably wouldn’t have survived the trip to the hospital.
So… would YOU call for help if you “just” have a bad cold or mild flu for a few days? Or would you use the usual OTC remedies and just try to tough it out?
By all accounts I’ve read, Betsy Arakaw was a high-functioning, healthy 65 year old, not a frail, fragile “old lady”. As others have noted, there are a lot of very capable people in that age range - heck, I’m in that age range, still working full time, still expected to sling stuff weighing up to 40 pounds all during an 8 hour shift. As part of that, they had very minimal “staff”, basically just people to take care of the landscaping.
Along with that, we don’t know how well Gene Hackman was functioning. Sure, there were signs of significant Alzheimer’s on autopsy but there’s not a one-to-one correlation of brain damage with ability to function - people with minimal build up of amyloid plaque can have severe symptoms, there are people with milder symptoms with a lot of plaque build up. So, we know Hackman had some level of dysfunction but we can’t know how much. If he was cooperative and not inclined to wander (which, given he stayed in the house, he might not have tended to do) there may have been a lot less need for “staff” and help.
Add to that strong expectations that the health spouse takes care of the ailing spouse in our society. Unless you have been in that position, especially as a woman in that situation, you don’t really known just how strong that is. When I was in my 50’s and my husband was dying I had enormous pushback when I asked for help with him. A common response was “why do you need help?”. Add in a couple who are very private and I’m not at all surprised she didn’t ask for help and would not have expected her to do so.
I’m 65 myself. Not decrepit (ran a marathon last May and doing a Grand Canyon rim to rim hike in June) and know quite a few folk older than me who leave me in their dust. No way I’d ask for help with mild flu symptoms. But I’ll also admit to stupid pride and that I might not ask for help unless I was already at a point that I undeniably couldn’t handle it, which would be too late. I’m at least self aware of my idiocy in that regard; not all of us dumbasses are. Then also factor in denial as a normal initial response to things going in a scary direction…
Not hard for me to understand. Would likely have been me sad to admit. There are many of us who insist on saying “I got this” … and usually do … until the time we don’t.
while I do not disagree with you (an active 68yo could as well run marathons) … but I’d like to stress one thing (also true for my case):
You are now 68yo in good mental and physical shape … things will go downstairs from here … my personal worry is that I might get so “dumb” (pardon the expression!) … that I will no longer be able to make a good, informed decision about those med.alert.thingies (and 1000s other thingies 
) … b/c I got dumb too soon and it left my mental orbit.
So in a way a lot of those decisions boil down to “will I be cognicent enough to detect my own ment./phys deterioration” - that is an abstract worry I have
That was something I was curious about. The coroner (I suppose) said she died a week prior to him, and that she was the only one in the will. So that leaves Heckman’s kids as the inheritors of his estate. Yet if his wife slightly outlived him by a day or she had a will, and that left her estate to others (dunno if she had kids or close relatives) that would not be a factor in whose will takes precedence?
There is no precedence if the deaths are declared simultaneous, which is very likely to be the case.
Remember Jim Henson? He kept insisting all he had was a sore throat and was tired, even when he stated coughing up blood.
Henson was 53. My nephew insisted he had the flu and just wanted to go out on his boat and relax for a couple of days. By the time his girlfriend dragged him to the ER he was in multiple organ failure and ended up with permanent heart and kidney damage.
I also had a friend of a friend who insisted he was just a little under the weather and he’d be fine. By the time his wife got home from work that evening, he had died of acute respiratory failure.
Over the years, I’ve known several colleagues who just dropped dead. Usually cardiac/circulatory, but sometimes mild-presenting pneumonia.
It’s disconcerting how common it is for someone to drop dead after only presenting with mundane symptoms. No wonder people become hypochondriacs. Feeling under the weather could be nothing or it could mean you are at imminent risk of dying.
A few more bits of information from the New York Times. It seems that Ms. Arakawa may have died a day later than originally thought based on cell phone records. She had made a doctor’s appointment, but never made it to the appointment.
It’s also possible his kids have been provided for as they wished before he died, and perhaps not surprised to not be in the will. It might be a mistake to assume animosity or ill feeling due to that one detail.
Gonna be ugly. Lawyers will get 20M at least.
I did that when I was about 45 and it was absolutely exhausting. Good luck, and have an awesome time.
Thank you!
Saw something I didn’t know in the lawyer-hiring article. Hackman had a trust. Perhaps his wife didn’t. Trusts make it a lot easier to pass assets on. You avoid probate, for example. Makes the suing lawyer’s job harder.
One thing to watch for: The kid’s lawyer might try to have the case moved to CA where things can get weird fast. I don’t think it has much of a chance of succeeding. One issue could be is where was the trust created?