Networking is not a 4 letter word. Don’t burn your bridges, don’t assume people are not able to help you/be helped by you. All of the good things I have gotten in my life have been because of someone I knew and many of the good things in the lives of those closest to me have been because of something I could do for them.
OOh, another important one (so it wasn’t my last post, I lie a lot, sue me):
Here are three things you should NEVER buy anybody as a gift unless you are BEYOND DOUBT SURE that 1) they want one and 2) they want that specific one:
1- A pet of any kind (not even a goldfish)
2- A work of art that must be displayed
3- Anything bigger than a toaster
Also on the subject of gift giving: gift certificates are always appropriate, no matter how impersonal they may seem. If the person is limited for space, a gift certificate to a pricier-than-average restaurant is particularly great as it gives them a night out and they don’t have to find space for it and you can almost always guarantee they’ll use it.
If you give a gift and then never see it in the person’s house, never be rude enough to inquire as to why. If somebody should ask you where the ____ they gave you for a gift is and the truth is you regifted it or thought it was ugly as a homeless person’s ass or as useless as a room full of telephone receivers, tell them you either loaned it to a friend (if at all believable) or accidentally broke it.
Give a person a bigger gift on their birthday than you do on Christmas. Christmas gifts are extortionary commercialism driven almost meaningless things, but a birthday is their one special day. (If they’re born on Christmas, well, tough titties.)
Always tell the truth. Incorporate appropriate amounts of tact and kindness when necessary, but always tell the truth. In some cases, the truth is pretty painful, but it brings with it freedom and power. Once you have the truth, you can begin to deal with the way things actually are. Until you have it, you’re just boxing shadows. I’ve seen more pain caused by secrets and lies than anything else I can think of.
The person who is nice to you and isn’t nice to the waitress isn’t a nice person.
Don’t gossip. Even if it never comes back to bite you (which it will), it makes you go all mean and puny inside.
Admit your mistakes as soon as you discover them.
From my friend Colleen: There are always two ways to take anything. One way is to search for any possible offense, latch on to it, and worry about it/get mad about it. The other is to assume that the speaker was having a bad day or didn’t really know what s/he was saying, and forget about it. Your life will be much happier if you consistently choose the second option.
ETA: Find one friend who can make you laugh no matter what is happening, and do not lose that friend. A good belly laugh does not cure all ills, but it goes a long way toward a better outlook.
Time spent wishing is time not spent doing.
Believe in yourself, before anything else.
If you see an real opportunity that involves a leap of faith – make that leap.
Plastics.
**Get your mammograms, colonoscopies, PAPs, and other screenings on time and regularly, and using the best technology available. **
I’m in chemo for a breast cancer that was found on a digital mammogram - so early that it wasn’t even a lump yet. Because of that I have a 99% chance of a cure.
Treat others the way you would want them to treat you. Golden Rule.
Preview your posts.
Double, no, triple-check the Send To field in your email before Sending anything X-rated.
95% of getting an “A” grade is showing up, paying attention, and following directions.
Stay in school.
Don’t run up unsecured debt.
Be polite to everyone.
Know your own strengths and weaknesses. If you don’t think you have any weaknesses (real ones, not “I procrastinate” or “I work too hard”) then you’re fooling yourself.
Your appearance matters. If you don’t look your best, people will not think their best of you.
Stay physically fit. Your body is as important as your brain.
Be on time.
Work hard but limit how many hours you work. If you allow work to take an infinite amount of time, that’s what it will take.
You will always regret what you didn’t do more than what you did.
Never trust a car salesman, a real estate agent, or the people who sell fitness club memberships.
When you’re young, date as much as you can and sleep with lots of people. Just use condoms.
A person’s values are where they spend their time and their money. What a person SAYS they value means nothing. What matters is what their checkbook and their datebook say.
When you get married, your spouse and you are an inseparable team. Never, ever, ever publically side with anyone agaisnt your spouse, ESPECIALLY not with your own blood relatives. You and your spouse are a team and that is that.
You should be nicer to your spouse and your children than you are to anyone else. If you are less nice to them than you are to other people, you have to change yourself.
Have some kind of hobby for yourself. Playing a musical instrument, doing art or crafts, writing, photography, dancing, a sport, whatever. If it’s a practical skill, like carpentry, that’s even better.
Related: Have some kind of outlet for the stress in your life. Whether it’s pounding the shit out of the drums, or pounding the shit out of a punching bag, or whatever - sometimes you just need to let out the intensity. It’s better that you find an outlet for it instead of taking it out on the people around you.
Don’t go into debt if you can’t pay it off. Whether you’ve borrowed money from the Mafia or from the bank - you’re fucked either way. (Edit - RickJay already nailed that one.)
Along the same ilk but dealing with a different breed: when living in an apartment complex TREAT YOUR MAINTENANCE MEN LIKE KINGS! It doesn’t take much. Regularly ask the guy how his band is doing. Those movie screening tickets they lay out on the break room table at work? Grab an extra one for him and his girlfriend. BBQing as he happens to pass by? Offer him a hot dog to scarf down. Do something, get him on your good side, and keep him there.
Your shit will get fixed quicker, you won’t hear as many complaints, he’ll keep you up to date on how to get around certain rules, and he’ll tell you when the hammer is about to come down, and how, and the breaking of other rules.
All nuts-and-bolts service people should be treated this way. The situation we have today in America is one where the majority of people rely on outside specialists to fix their cars, houses, and everything else requiring getting your hands dirty. For Christ’s sake, don’t look down on these people just because they have a NASCAR sticker on their truck - your entire lifestyle would collapse without them. You wouldn’t be condescending to your doctor, who is basically a mechanic for your body, so don’t be condescending to the people who are working on your roof or your air conditioner.
And related to that, you should at least try to fix stuff around your house before calling in someone or totally replacing whatever broke. Obviously if the repair is out of your league, you’re better off getting professional help, but if it’s something simple, you should try to DIY. You will save a lot of money, and there are a million books and websites that will help you with basic repairs.
Keep the sun out of your eyes, and be yourselves.
The biggest difference in a bank and the Mafia- the Mafia can fuck you up illegally if you don’t pay. Banks can fuck you up legally for 7 to 10 years and make your life hell.
There’s almost no advice better to young people, especially those who are college age and getting their first plastic, than
Credit Cards Are Evil
when used irresponsibly except in KA, LA, NE, Guam and Puerto Rico, where they are less evil by 25.9999% per day, compounded, subject to change at any time without notice
A $16 CD here, a $32 night on the town there, a $25 coat from Target over to the right, etc., all adds up a whhhhooooooooooooooooooooole lot sooner than you can imagine, and credit card companies can get away with things nobody else can.
For example- on my nads this is absolutely true: a few years ago I paid off my GAP credit card. Somehow, not sure if it was interest amortization or not, I was short $3 in paying them off. That’s $3… 300 pennies. That is still on my credit report except it’s now $190.00!
I moved just after I paid off the card. Since I didn’t think there was any reason to I didn’t change my address. I moved again, then again- the bill somehow didn’t catch up with me for months. When it did it was $93- that’s the original $3 plus 9 $10 monthly late fees. I called the company and told them "I’ll pay the $3, maybe even one $10 late fee, but the rest is extortion. I sent them a check for $13 and they cashed it. And sent me a bill for $90 the next month ($80 balance from late fees + a $10 late fee.) I basically said “fuck this”. Then I got a letter from a collection agency and I sent them a letter saying “This is 100% totally bogus” only in nice terms explaining the situation. Heard no more for a while, then I moved again. Next time I heard from them it was $190, where it seems to be halted now but here’s the kicker:
I assumed this was just some sort of bullshit clerical mix-up but it’s not. IT’S LEGAL FOR THEM TO CHARGE ME $190 on a $3 underpayment! I still owe them $190 and it’s messing with my credit, but everytime I start to make out the check I just balk- I can’t do it! And it’s insane they should be allowed to charge that- the fucking MAFIA WOULD NEVER CHARGED $190 ON A $3 BILL!
Anyway, AVOID CREDIT CARDS is the best piece of advice young people can receive but also the advice most worthy of Kassandra. Nobody listens to it- I didn’t, nobody here will. And GAP can kiss my bifurcated lily white ass.
If you always prebudget yourself, in everything, you won’t have much to worry about later on. When you get a paycheck, immediately put away 10% and budget your week accordingly. This is the most effective and least painful way to get yourself to save money.
If you’re always too busy, budget yourself an hour in the morning (this means you wake up an hour early and go to sleep an hour early.) That way you get a whole hour for whatever you need to do for yourself.
No matter how young or old you are, a midday nap is always beneficial.
Preach it, my brother!
My life would be significantly different if I’d learned this as a kid.
Better yet, if you have direct deposit, set up a savings account and send 10% there. You won’t see it and hopefully you won’t miss it.
Never be afraid to doubt anything. Being certain (especially where action is required) isn’t very useful if you’re wrong.
Similarly, question everything - especially things that are presented as absolutes. When someone says “never” (including me, in this post) or “always”, they’re not necessarily right about it.