Gentlemen: Now It's Japanese Pillows That Are Chipping Away At Your Significance

In homage to The Long Road’s 8/04 pit thread entitled: Fake Girlfriends.

First, came this abomination :smiley: back in 1920: The 19th Amendment - Courtesy of the woman’s suffrage movement.

Then, a few years later, some rocket scientist over at the Sears catalog decided to start marketing These Contraptions - At $5.65 a pop.

Things were going from bad to worse. After Rosie the Riveter (that dyke!) rolled up her sleeves, women throughout the USA started questioning their traditional roles in the home. All of a sudden, donning an apron and baking brownies for the Beav wasn’t good enough.

Muu Muu and Housecoat sales plummeted.

In the late 60’s, the feminist movement really started picking up steam. Anti-male activists like Betty Friedan & Bella Abzug had a large portion of the female population convinced they could be entirely self-sufficient.

In the 1970’s, even though the ERA went down in flames, men throughout the United States had a new enemy: The Dreaded Shower Massage.

Fast Forward 30 years - and now we have the Japanese getting into the act: The Boyfriend Pillow Has Women Lining Up

I see trouble down the road. A headless pillow that doesn’t snore, leave drool stains, poke its’ sleeping partner in the small of her back or have morning farts. Yeah, I definitely see some trouble - unless some enterprising men’s rights activist starts lobbying for importation restrictions.

Yeah, but can it do “The Swirl?” Next thing you know, they’ll want equal pay, or sumpthin’.



Wait! You mean I have significance?!

One day you lesser creatures will understand that you only have significance in our lives when we deign to offer it to you. How long is it going to take for you to get it?

Significance? Hell all I want is yer money! :smiley:
At least I’m honest about it!

This is why I have a cat instead of a girlfriend. I get exactly the same treatment, but I don’t have to buy the little bastard flowers.

A few months ago I had the thought that I could replace the man in my life with a body pillow, a dog, and a vibrator, not necessarily in that order. But now!

Is it heated?

Oh. But who will kill the spiders?

never mind.

Bug Vacuum

But I want a real boyfriend and a boyfriend pillow!

On the other hand, Japan’s also had the girlfriend pillow for quite some time.

Doesn’t nag, doesn’t go shopping, doesn’t care what you wear. And you can fuck it.

Can’t find a web page ad, but the tabloid magazines run ads for them regularly. The disturbing thing is that with a pillow case on, it looks just like ordinary furniture when not in ‘use’.

Actually, this is symbolic of a big problem in Japan: Japanese women are not finding husbands. Seriously. The problem is that Japanese men still expect subservient wives that will kneel at their feet and put their slippers on and be silent. Japanese women have become emancipated, and the men can’t handle it. This is actually a big problem in a country with a collapsing birthrate. There are entire new lifestyles being built around being single in Japan. This pillow is an example of that.

Kind of sad, actually.

Not to mention the the fact that prior to August 1970, you could’ve taken with you to McSorley’s Ale House without catching any flak.

Well, it worked in my favor, so I guess I can’t complain.

No, I was pretty much on board with the idea that I have no significance for women; I was just confused by the suggestion that I was mistaken. Thanks for clearing that up.

God-Fucking Damnit!! And I’m here in the god-damn States! ARRRRG! I love confident, capable & independent women!

I am this close to starting a pit thread.

Of course, it’s not really no-luck-with-women when there is a whole hemisphere of Earth between them and me, so I guess there is a silver lining.