here in Michigan we have the expression “dating Miss Michigan”, since the state’s shaped like a mitten (hence a reference to self-pleasure while single)
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.]
In downtown L.A. Olive and Grand are parallel streets separated by a block. One dark night there was a power outage. Popeye was feeling his way up and down Olive and thought it was Grand.
[/QUOTE]
Name three streets in Chicago that rhyme with vagina.
Paulina, Melvina, and Lunt.
[QUOTE=Simmerdown]
Name three streets in Chicago that rhyme with vagina.
Paulina, Melvina, and Lunt.
[/QUOTE]
That is awesome. Never heard it before!
[QUOTE=Merhouse]
There’s a joke about 3 neighboring towns in Pennsylvania Dutch Country, east of Lancaster…
Bird in Hand
Intercourse
Paradise.
You can make up your own 
[/QUOTE]
Don’t forget Blue Ball!
To get from Blue Ball to Paradise, you have to go through Intercourse…
[QUOTE=CalMeacham]
…“Because it’s the Downfall of Turkey, the Destruction of China, and the Overspil of Greece.”
[/QUOTE]
I learned a variant of this when I was a kid: “The US was hungry. So it chased after Turkey, slipped on Greece and broke China.”
This allowed me to come up with this comeback line at a strip club (obviously many years later):
Me: “You’re exotic looking. What’s your background?”
Her: “I’m Turkey” (clearly a new arrival to the country)
Me: “If you’re Turkey, I’m Hungary!”
Even she laughed. My friend and the bartender were on the floor (not literally).
How do you get to Drain, Oregon?
First you have to pull the plug.
Then there’s the freeway sign south of Portland, that says:
Boring
Oregon City
It’s right twice!
Roddy
[QUOTE=jayjay]
Don’t forget Blue Ball!
To get from Blue Ball to Paradise, you have to go through Intercourse…
[/QUOTE]
Damnit!! That’s what I meant!!! :smack:
I guess the good news is, as long as I’m around, there will always be ignorance to be fought 
Which state in America is the Irish state?
O’Regon.
“Mommy, Mommy, we don’t wanna move to Istanbul!”
“Be quiet, children. Daddy knows what’s Bosphorus.”
Two winners of the geographical pun contest in the May 1971 (God, I feel old!) National Lampoon:
The hip bone Schenectedy the thigh bone,
The thigh bone Schenectedy the knee bone…
The monster said to the portrait painter, “That’s an excellent Loch Ness!”
One of my favorites from the honorable mentions:
“Christopher Robin says he’ll sleep a lot better if Poughkeepsie hands to himself.”
Classic:
There was an old man of Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
+numerous follow-ups.
[QUOTE=jayjay]
Don’t forget Blue Ball!
To get from Blue Ball to Paradise, you have to go through Intercourse…
[/QUOTE]
For those who think jayjay is making this up, here’s directions
Right by Leacock and Bareville. There also “are leola” (sorry that’s pretty corny). Those Amish sure are pious people.
And going back to those stupid, so unfunny shut up jokes from the early 60’s that, as a kid, made me laugh anyway:
Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to go to Australia.
Shut up son and keep swimming.
Yikes! Was I the only one so easily amused back then?
[QUOTE=zagloba]
My first girlfriend chided me about my Roman hands and Russian fingers.
[/QUOTE]
And “Peking eyes?”
(Of course, we didn’t know it as Beijing back when I was a kid!)
[QUOTE=gnagtcha]
Yikes! Was I the only one so easily amused back then?
[/QUOTE]
No.
‘Mommy, mommy! I don’t like daddy!’
‘Shut up and keep eating.’
[QUOTE=maladroit]
here in Michigan we have the expression “dating Miss Michigan”, since the state’s shaped like a mitten (hence a reference to self-pleasure while single)
[/QUOTE]
Ah yes. North of Sydney is a town called Gosford, which is near a waterway called The Entrance. Consequently any really short skirt is called a Gosford skirt, 'cause it’s right up near …