George Carlin's seven words you can't say on T.V.

I hate to admit it, but I’ve always been curious: What are the seven words that you can’t say on television, according to George Carlin?

You know, I don’t remember either. I do remember that you can prick your finger but you can’t finger your prick. For waht that’s worth.

I actually have that record, but I’ve never listened to it because I don’t have a record player. . . .
Cessandra, not adding anything helpful

Ooh, a friend just passed on this link: I haven’t checked it out yet, but I wanted to be the first to post something (hopefully) helpful!

(I never get to be first)


Why sex is better than religion: You can scream “Oh, God” during sex, but just trying saying “Oh, f***” in church!

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

A transcript of the routine can be found here

Back off, man. I’m a scientist.


So what bad words did Lenny Bruce use that got him in constant trouble with the law? It’s my understanding the law just didn’t like him because he was saying things(without bad words) that they didn’t want society to hear.

*Alphagene: Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. *

It seems to me that “pissed” has been said on broadcast TV of late (as well as PO’ed). I guess it’s like “screwed”: it used to be “dirty”, but not anymore. shrug

On the last episode of “Stark Raving Mad”, Henry’s boss’s husband was introduced. He had a heavy accent I think was Hispanic. At one point he was trying to show his tropical fish to a woman and point out their sharp teeth, saying, “Look at their teeths”. But it sounded like “teets” (“tits”). When the woman couldn’t understand him, he said, “Their teeths! Can’t you see them? Open you eyes!” But then, “eyes” sounded like “ayes” (“ass”). I was rolling! And it looks like the writers got two past the censors. :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Tits, ass and piss are commonly used on network programs today and have been for some time. I remember watching a 1989 episode of Designing Women and almost swallowing my gum when one of the characters referred to another as the “tit-monster” (she was wearing a rather large set of falsies).

I’m in broadcasting, and personally, I have no problem with “real” language being used in appropriate situations. Making up mild oaths or bleeping a word that the audience can still read on the actor’s lips, is a silly exercise. What I don’t like is a “let’s-see-what-we-can-get-away-with” attitude. Lenny Bruce was not just tossing meaningless profanities into his monologues; he was challenging our attitudes about society. The same with Richard Pryor, and today, Chris Rock.

Um, clarification…

It’s other performers who take the “get-away-with-it” attitude. Not Bruce, et al.

Damn, my tortured prose!

One word that got Lenny Bruce in particular trouble was “cocksucker.” His routine describing his day in court regarding his utterance of this word is hilarious.

He was particularly offended by the court’s hypocritical definition of the word as “A favorite homosexual practice.” Lenny pointed out that “This word correctly describes any woman I would care for or would love or would marry.”

And of course, you can now delete another word off that list – shit. It was used on a recent episode of Chicago Hope.

“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.”
– Woody Allen

I heard the word “piss” on Cartoon Network recently, of all places. So, I think it’s pretty safe to say that it’s off the list. (For anyone wondering about the context, there was a character on Dragon Ball Z who told someone “Don’t piss off the god of love.”)

Mr. Armageddon
“Just when you thought you had all the answers, I went and changed the questions!”–Roddy Piper

Actually, you can delete all seven. I believe the networks have aired movies with important artistic or cultural themes uncut. Wasn’t Schindler’s list completely uncut in primetime, including profanity and nudity?

Here in Canada our ‘arts’ channels (Showcase, Bravo, etc) air all of their movies uncut, including some which come very close to hardcore porn.

Another great Lenny moment is in one of his trials he was asked if he said “Eat it” referring to his penis.

He replied "No, I said ‘Kiss it’ "

The lawyer said “what’s the difference?”

And Lenny replied “Well I kiss my mother good-bye I don’t eat her goodbye”

Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised.

George more recently commented, “You can talk about anything on TV these days, but you can’t even suggest that somebody farted!”
He said, “I always wanted to go on the Tonight Show, make an ugly face, and say…‘awwwwwwwwww Ed, move over man, jeeeeeeeeeeez!’”

I remember a later routine (it was on an HBO special) where Carlin upped the number to ten, adding fart, turd and twat.

interesting side note:
blink 182 has a song (i think it’s on the short music for short people compilation–most songs are 30 seconds or shorter) called family reunion…32 seconds long…the lyrics:
“shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker fart turd tits and twat” repeated 3 or 4 times. i guess they wanted to get all 10 in. and they sent this on a one song promo cd to my radio station…needless to say it didn’t get played…

For years, “shit” has been played on the radio. (Steve Miller: “funky shit”, Pink Floyd: “bullshit”, Alanis Morissette: “chicken-shit”)

But recently, those words have either been muted or pasted-over with other phrases. (“funky kicks”? “chicken-chicken”?) Why? I thought we were loosening up, not pruding up?

Help us all if AM’s “You Oughta Know” is ever broadcast in its original album version.

Everlast had two songs in which VH1 edited out suggestive phrases along with the language.

In What It’s Like, they removed “Colt 45,” “drugs,” and “gunfight.”

In Ends, they removed “bending,” “knees,” and “swallow.”