Actually that might fix him all by itself.
I would run a loop of Disney’s “It’s A Small World”.
Brilliant. Then he would decapitate himself. With his own fingernails.
I would show him Tron, to illustrate the fact that it’s possible to make a competent sci-fi/fantasy B-movie without feeling it necessary either to inflate it into a multi-volume Epic! with a capital E and an exclamation point, or to fill it full of ersatz Eastern philosophy.
Then I would show him all the episodes from Star Trek TOS in which “Kirk Falls in Love Or Otherwise Has A Formative Experience With A Person Of The Opposite Sex” (except For Mudd’s Women because it’s too good for him and he doesn’t deserve it) is a central point of the plot line. This would be as direct punishment for casting Hayden Christiansen as Young Darth Vader.
I would make him watch the giant chicken suit episode twice, payback for Jar Jar Binks.
I couldn’t stand to have in in my home that long. I’d just take im outside and kill 'im, to save the basment cleanup.
I think it would be best to just drop him from a highway overpass onto the busiest stretch of road I could find. Maybe they’ll assume suicide – that’s what I would assume after the release of another shitty movie.
I’d force him to read the Timothy Zahn Heir to the Empire novels to see where a story based on his universe goes right.
If that wouldn’t work, I’d force him to watch Lifetime, WE, and Oxygen original movies. That’s enough to drive any man crazy, I feel. 
Moderator intervenes: Argent Towers, may I remind you of the Registration Agreement:
I understand that you don’t mean this really, but we do have rules about how far we can go: wishing death or serious harm to people is across the line. Please don’t say such things again.
Moderator continues: OK, I now see that others have continued the concept of wishing violence against a celebrity. lissener and others: stop it. Now.
You may insult a celebrity all you want, but you may not suggest violence, physical harm, etc against them. That’s over the line of common manners and civilized behavior.
Oops, sorry, I was caught up in the mob mentality. Good thing there were no pitchforks or torches lying about, or my whole neighborhood might have been endangered.
So, Argent Towers, in other words, you’d have him watch The Star Wars Holiday Special, I thought that was banned under Geneva Convention rules as being a Cruel and Unusual punishment…
Duly noted, mods. Yeesh…I guess you guys missed my thread about how M. Night Shayamalan should be boiled to death in a vat of horse semen (I’m serious, I actually wrote this…)
I missed that…what’s the boiling point of horse semen, anyway?
Boiling? Why boil when you can pan fry?
I don’t know, but here’s an interesting fact: if you drop M. Night into a vat of horse semen that’s already boiling, he’ll jump out, but if you use lukewarm semen and slowly bring it to a boil…
I am kind of relieved that you did not register for the SDMB just to express your opinion on this topic.
I figured the mods were just into that sort of thing.
I’d make him watch a bunch of Hitchcock, to show him how to create suspense, and
Juno, to show him what good dialogue is all about.
I’d also be inclined to force-feed him Juno, but for reasons more punitive than pedagogical.
African of European horse semen…?