I knew you couldn’t leave! C’mere, you! You crazy guy! grabs One Cell in headlock, gives him a giant noogie
Now, promise – promise – you’ll never play a trick like that on us again. You joker!! Haaaaahahahahahahah!
OK kids, game’s up. We need to come clear now. I’ll just say it out loud. One Cell as you might have started to suspect we’re all part of the great conspiracy. We’re really agents of the United Nations of Eggheads’ Secret Services that lurk the internet waiting for clear sighted people like you to walk into the trap we have set by faking endless threads of enlightened, informed and factually based debates.
That’s why we keep on asking for cites from you, we have to test you, because we still aren’t sure if you’re just an innocent guy form the street who stumbled on ‘the truth’ or if you actually work for ‘them’.
Now it’s rare, but it does happen that great minds like yours just sees right through us. Your adamant refusal to reveal any sources of information, your incredible affinity towards hiding your knowledge of ‘the truth’ through moronic babble, your integrity in sticking to name number and rank when verbally taunted and tortured with rhetoric has convinced us that we have met a superior foe. The fact that you also admit that you do know everything about ‘the truth’ has made us understand that along the old wisdom ‘if you can’t fight them join them’, we should make you a proposition.
Hence One Cell we would like to propose that you come to work for us in the great SDMB cabal. Since you have displayed such an incredible capacity and knowledge of ‘them’ we would like to offer you the possibility of working for us as a double agent. It’s not our policy to coerce people into working for us, since we don’t need to (as you already know we can make things happen that eliminates our need to coerce). Hence we would like to offer you some motivation to help us in the great conspiracy.
By joining us you will gain access to the Great Secret Manual of Eggheads. During the years when you are covert on the field you can train on being one of us. When the great day of reckoning comes you will then be ready to take your place in the row of rulers of the great new world order on an equal basis. You will receive the UV tattoo on your left foot’s sole with which you will identified to be spared from brainwashing when the big day comes. You will also get to learn the secret handshake. Last but not least you will get all the recipes to ‘better brain food’.
If you turn this offer down I am afraid that I must inform you that you will be brainwashed immediately and amongst other things you will think that this post you are reading is a piece of sarcastic and base humor intended to make fun of you because you tried to take part in debates that were way over your rhetoric and intellectual capacity. The scary part is that no matter how many times you reread this paragraph you’ll continue to think so. Well, our brainwashing techniques are as of yet not perfected, so you might still feel a slight doubt stirring in you.
On behalf of the Egghead Cabal
Sparc
Apparently not.
Since you won’t see me on this board any longer [MEB, don’t bother to ban me], I should explain what I meant by One Cell when I entered this forum over 18 months ago. There were no US media trumpets of Al Qaeda Cells then.
The idea of One Cell was based on a life time of research in neurocybernetics that involves thorough understanding of neuroscience, brain research, state-of-the-art computer science (including bio-chips), neuropharmacology, DSP analysis of EEG brain waves, magnotoencephalography and genetics.
If you can think of yourself (and your ego) as just one cell ( a single neuron in the brain if you will), then you are not much unless you begin to interact with other neurons (through synapses) to create something bigger than a single neuron. I thought a cyberspace such as SDMB could be a way to connect.
I must admit I made a mistake. It appears there may be a lot of neurons out there that have no wish to connect to other neurons. They are very happy to stay where they are (dead cells?). Hopefully, there are not many cancerous neurons out there. Otherwise, the planet can end up with a brain tumor.
Sweetie-darling, how can we miss you if you don’t go away?
It seems your synapses are a bit crusty.
Hmmm. so far we see:
“I’m leaving”
“Really, this is my last post”
“I know what i said, but this is really, really my last post”
I’m waiting for him to hold his breath until he turns blue to make us see things his way.
Let’s not feed the troll any longer, folks.
Lynn