Get Bent, Toilet Paper Fascists!

The BBQ Pit
1

Guess what? I didn’t mount the toilet paper back onto the roll thingy again! I just placed it on top of it! And you know what? It felt gooooooooood! And I’m gonna do it again, real soon…you know why? Because there’s no freakin’ point in putting the toilet paper on the roll when you’re just gonna have to take it off again anyway. Chew on that one for awhile.

“My hovercraft is full of eels.”

2

Having a bad day?
Why don’t you tell us how you realy feel.
Were here to help!

Peace
t lion

" I Wonder What Happens When I push THIS Button? "

3

Damn straight, brother! And if they want the seat down, they can damn will do that for themselves as well!

Elmer J. Fudd,
Millionaire.
I own a mansion and a yacht.

4

It’s so much trouble to put the seat down.
I just leave it down. :slight_smile:

5

I was originally going to call my band “Monkey in a Teacup”, but I changed my mind. It’s now going to be “The Toilet Paper Fascists”. God, I love this message board!

“That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler

6

Amen to that. Will it kill them to put it down themselves? What does a toilet seat weigh, about 15 ounces or so? Are they gonna throw out their delicate little backs putting down the seat and putting the toilet paper on the little roll thingy? What, are they gonna cry if they have to do it all by their widdle selves? [POUTY FACE] Are you gonna cry? “Cwy for me, widdle baby, CWY, CWY, CWY!!”

“My hovercraft is full of eels.”

7

I can sympathize with the OP. For the same reason, I’ve stopped eating all together – you only get hungry again. Why bother?

8

I just put the roll on the back of the toilet.

Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.

“I get along well with everybody.” --I.M.F.

9

Torgo, who is “they?”

Born O.K. the first time…

If you are born again, do you have two belly buttons?

10

Elmer, baby, you are behind the times! While cruising the hardware store yesterday I spotted a nifty self closing toilet seat. It even has an adjustable time delay. Might save a few marriages.

Haven’t seen an automatic toilet paper roll hanger yet tho. Invention opp?

See ya -

11

Why should you mount the toilet paper roll? Because your lousy cats might knock it in the toilet if you don’t. Incidently, mount it with the paper coming off the back of the roll (against the wall) or the rotten cats will unroll the whole thing while you’re at work and you will either have to re-roll the whole thing or pitch it. THAT’S why.

12

GF, that is the first logical explanation I’ve heard for placing the T.P. on the on the holder that way. Kudos!

“Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I’m worried about the difference between wrong and fun.”
~P.J. O’Rourke~

13

No charge, UncleBeer! I have a helpful household hints column coming out next month. We will discuss why women like the toilet seat down. The opening on the bowl is bigger than the opening on the seat, and if you pee in the dark, you are likely to fall in. I, however, would never ask someone to put the seat down. I just make it a habit to check first (I’ve taken that swim one time too many). Here’s another piece of advice for cat owners. Some cats drink out of the toilet, and the seat cover can fall on them and knock them unconscious, where they fall in the toilet and drown. It’s probably a good idea to keep the cover and seat down when not in use. My parents would interrogate all of us to find the culprit who left the seat up, endangering the cat. Personally, I think it’s an uncommon thing, so I don’t do it. NOT THAT I DON’T LOVE THE LITTLE DARLINGS!

14

Always put both the lid and seat down, that way you don’t have to worry about dropping things in the bowl, like toothbrushes…

15

I just dropped the whole fucking roll right INTO the toilet.

MY ass is clean, the hell with the next guy.

Uke

16

Note to self. This Wednesday, remember always to go to the men’s room before Ukulele Ike

Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

17

I either have defective toilet paper or a defective roller. I usually buy the ‘double rolls’ which are larger than the little ones. Well, they are too thick to fit on the roller without smushing up against the wall.

So, I, too, just sit it on top. Sure, I could put the roll on the roller once the roll is half used, but why bother?

18

Please read the story on the web site below:
http://www.vis.colostate.edu/~scriven/files/steak.txt

It is funny as…well, you know.

19

Toilet paper?

Yer pal,
Satan

20

That story is friggin’ hilarious! I’m sitting here in my cube laughing my butt off, and had to share it with the co-workers. A work of art! (as it were)