Get Money with this one trick from The Bible

[Hottius_Maximus]

@dropzone

Yes, and she makes $4862 every week by working at home for 2 hours.

LOL! That’s pretty good; is she hiring?

[LawMonkey]

@MEBuckner

Unfortunately it turns out the key passage is Joel 3:3.

You, sir, win this thread.

[ftg]

Maybe it’s to go around and make the classic bar bet: “Who cut Samson’s hair?” You need a Bible on you to prove it wasn’t Delilah.

[pravnik]

“Start a church.”

[Kobal2]

Pffft. Getting money with one trick from the Bible is nothing new. The Catholic Church has been doing it for centuries.

ETA <Hoyt> That is the second time I’ve had my jokes ninja’d on this board today, there will NOT be a third. </Hoyt>

[Peter_Morris]

You can get money if you master the following trick:
step 1: Get water.

step 2: Turn water into wine.

step 3: Sell wine.

step 4: Prophet.

[Hottius_Maximus]

@Peter_Morris

You can get money if you master the following trick:
step 1: Get water.

step 2: Turn water into wine.

step 3: Sell wine.

step 4: Prophet.

Jesus made money from this?

[MEBuckner]

I think He left out step 3. He was a great vintner, but He was a lousy businessman.

[panache45]

And I’m wondering why so many people have viewed this thread. Is it really any different?

[Melbourne]

@tellyworth

That’s always the trick. Fear of prosecution doesn’t really enter into it, since if they’re breaking the law, so are their victims.

It’s the same deal with the diet trick, energy saving trick or whatever else. The “product” doesn’t really matter, and may not even exist. It’s just a carrier wave for a pyramid scheme.

Not all scams are pyramid schemes.

There was a worthless pill/enhancer business (who’s name I will not mention) that had a business model of always giving your money back, all your money back, without question, if you asked for your money back. They made enough money out of people who did not ask for their money back that they made millions before they were shut down.

[Hottius_Maximus]

@MEBuckner

I think He left out step 3. He was a great vintner, but He was a lousy businessman.

I also believe that Jesus is the Son of God, so setting up a business would probably be contrary to His earthly mission.

[Musicat]

@Hottius_Maximus

I also believe that Jesus is the Son of God, so setting up a business would probably be contrary to His earthly mission.

It didn’t prevent the Church from selling indulgences.

[BigT]

@dotchan

How the Bible says to accumulate wealth:

• Don’t live beyond your means.
• Save for a rainy day.
• Invest wisely.
• Be generous to the less fortunate.
• Tithe.
• Don’t be a slave to it.

And if you donate to my PayPal account, I can have the most pious person I know pray for your prosperity.

Yes, in all seriousness, this would be about what I’d expect, except with a bunch of verses attached to each one.

If you’re really curious, here’s an Amazon link to the type of “prosperity theology” books I am familiar with. I don’t have $5 to spend just for a laugh, but maybe some of you do, and you can share it.

[Death_of_Rats]

Aren’t these the online equivalent of that infomercial where teh guy was selling his sytem of placing tiny ads in a shit-ton of papers to make money? It seems you had to buy the system to find out what the hell was in those ads or why he was selling his sytem if he was doing so well using it.

[Hottius_Maximus]

@Musicat

It didn’t prevent the Church from selling indulgences.

This is true, but the Church leaders ARE NOT Jesus Christ, despite what some of them may believe about themselves. Thank God for Pope Francis, huh?

[Chimera]

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at who he gives it to.”

– Me