Okay, this back and forth with quotes thing is getting bulky but I’ll try to simplify it if I can.
I think the word “disruptive” would have been closer to my meaning, and how I wish I’d used that word! People who are having a conversation in real-time in public *generally * are quieter than people on phones, and they are more aware of the body language of those around them in regard to what they are saying.
Isn’t it obvious that I don’t?
Did I use the word “stupid?” If I did, I apologize. But I’ve been thinking about what I said originally in light of your reply and others. I guess I feel it’s only vitally important to be “in the moment” while driving. If you’re having a conversation with someone in the car while you’re driving, they can see the road conditions and if you go quiet they know why. The person on the phone doesn’t, and doesn’t stop talking, and. . .oh, never mind. Anyone who has been on the phone while driving (I was once) knows the difference in the quality of that experience vs. talking to someone in the car.
No, and as I said I should have emphasized the “being in the moment” thing only when driving (or doing brain surgery or piloting a shuttlecraft). When I’m in a store by myself I relish the quiet. It annoys the hell out of me when someone is talking loudly on the phone OR letting their children behave like the store is a playground OR talking to someone else loudly, because a store is a public place meant for shopping and I feel my personal space is being poked at with any of those activities. A quiet conversation or the like does not bother me.
I was raised to be polite and to be respectful of other people’s sensibilities. I would never think of being loud in a store in any regard - or in any public venue - and it upsets me when someone else feels it’s fine for them to be that way. Then again, I know I live a quiet life. I go home to a quiet house in the middle of a quiet five acres in the country. That’s how I want to live, and I know other people do not choose to live that way.
Maybe I should just order everything online and never go out in public. . . .
I may have posted this before, but it bears repeating:
Several years ago my wife, oldest son and his wife were in Chicago to watch my youngest son graduate from Navy Basic Training and spend a few days ogling the Windy City. One afternoon, as we were driving northward on I-95, I looked over to see a green Ford Excursion screaming along at 65+, the Type-A blonde driver holding a cell phone to her ear with one hand and gesturing like mad with the other. She was obviously involved in a high-energy phone confrontation with someone – she pounded the dash board, flailed her hand about – and didn’t once touch the steering wheel! I asked my son, who was driving, to either get ahead of the SUV or back waaaaay off. We must have run alongside her a good two or three miles, so she must have been steering with her knees – or that SUV had technology not available on production models!
More recently, I’ve finally persuaded my wife to stop talking on the cell phone as she comes into the house at the end of the day. I usually get home an hour or so before she does, and I’ve often started supper, poured her a glass of wine, and the dog and I are waiting eagerly for her to walk in so we can give her our respective greetings. And countless times she has walked in the door, cell phone glued to her ear, gossiping with her mother as she drops her purse, kicks off her shoes, goes through all kinds of contortions taking off her coat while she continues to talk on the phone. And here’s the worst part: She’s always the one who called her mom to talk about some mundane detail of life – while driving right past her mother’s house! We live a quarter of a mile down the road from my wife’s mother, but she can’t turn in, go into the house and talk to the woman! So the dog and I are supposed to go about our business while she yacks. I finally told her I’d trade her – toilet lid down for no talking on cell phone when she comes in the house. It took some shouting and pouting on her part, but she agreed.
While it is very unlikely that you and I would be able to convince each other of our respective positions, you can take comfort in the fact that yours appears to be by far the dominant one.
I read a small piece yesterday about street musicians, commenting on how much you can discover/experience by simply taking out your earbuds. Of course, not everything you hear/see in the process is going to enrich your life.
Personally, I almost make it a challenge/game to see what I can find interesting/novel about nearly any experience. There is a ton of entertainment to be found in a grocery store for example. My personal belief is that that gives me a better understanding of my society and the people I share it with, and that my perceptions would necessarily be dulled if part of my attention were given to a phone. But you - and many others - clearly disagree.
One aspect your post reminded me of was the trend to live one’s life in public. Not just cellphones, but Myspace, Youtube… I’m often surprised at the type and amount of information that people don’t hesitate to make public. Wasn’t too long ago that phone calls were presumed to require such privacy that phone booths had doors on them… I believe a flipside of the perceived desire for privacy was a consideration for others - they didn’t need/want to hear my personal conversations.
To large extent, I think there is a generational perceptional change taking place.
And I agree, there is ample opportunity for people to be rude, technology or no.
Ha! And then I tried to tell him that it didn’t matter. I mean, what am I supposed to do all evening by myself if he doesn’t show up? Just stand here like a moron?
You know, he pulls that kind of crap all the time. Really gets on my nerves.
Yes, exactly. In light of the responses on this thread I’ve been thinking about my experience when I’m on the road being quiet or in a store being quiet, why it isn’t “boring” for me. I feel a real need to be open to and ready for whatever presents itself, and to have all my faculties present as much of the time as possible. I’m into “unitasking” in a big way, and it feels right for me. It’s very important to me to not be in a hurry, to look around and to take action when it’s needed. (I’m the one putting the stray carts into the cart corral in the parking lot.)
There have been so many times that people in stores have seen that I’m present, in a good mood, relaxed, etc. and have started a conversation or just made a pleasant remark. It feels wonderful when that happens. When I’m out I’m like a kid in a candy store, wondering what new thing is coming around the corner.
Just wait until we have phones implanted in our ears and people just start talking to themselves out of the blue. Those wireless bluetooth things they put on their ears are the first step towards that.
I hate being in touch all the time. I leave my cell phone in my car, it’s not like I need to be in instant contact with all my friends and family 24/7.
Yes, isn’t it wonderful? Now all the raging psychopaths who used to remain nicely tucked up in their rooms are out and about, talking to themselves while the rest of us think they’re on the phone. . . .