Getting Hit on by Scary Men

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My roommate and I went shopping at the local Cub Foods, just to pick up some milk and pop (NOT soda! :P) and cookies. For college kids, this is pretty nutritional stuff. Well, we were searching an aisle when this very scary (see below) guy just blurts out: “That’s a great-lookin’ beard you have. Looks good on ya.”

So far, only vaguely creepy. I say thanks, give what I hope is a polite (and nothing more) smile, and start turning around to walk rapidly away. Well, the guy keeps talking. “I used to have a beard, when I was a little older than you. Yeah, wore it from May of [some year I don’t remember] to [some month and year]. My friends used to ask me, ‘Were you born with that?’ And I’d always say, ‘No, no. I wasn’t.’ But, as I was saying, I really like your beard. Looks good on ya.” He said some more, but I mumbled something like, “I’ve got to catch up to my friend, bye” and ambulated briskly away.

I did not know this man, and he did not know me. The reasons that I considered him scary (besides the fact that he just started talking to me out of the blue and wouldn’t stop) are: He had a shaved head. Nothing bad in and of itself, but added to the overall creepiness. He had a very strange way of walking and standing. I can’t quite describe it, but it was definitely not normal, and makes me think he was at least a little mentally disabled. Also, I swear he was following me around the store (maybe just my paranoia though). Oh, and he was a pretty big guy. Not Olympic wrestler size, but much bigger than scrawny li’l me. He looked me up and down at least once, and I think I caught him doing it again a second time, out of the corner of my eye.

I caught up to my friend, who had naturally kept on walking, and was currently laughing his ass off. I urged him to hurry up and get what we came for, but of course he dawdled and was laughing the whole damn time. Grrrr.

Now, I don’t know for a fact that the guy was “hitting on me” as opposed to just starved for attention, but I certainly got very bad vibes from him. And finally, I just want to note FTR that it’s not the fact that a guy was hitting on me that upset me; it’s the fact that such a creepy guy was hitting on me. shudder

2

I HATE it when I get hit on by scary men…I also find it uncomfortable when guys start feeling up my nuts in a chat room…AHEM DEMO.

3

Oops…stupid me. That would be Omni, not Demo. Demo was just fooling Omni into THINKING I was monster.

My apologies Demo, it’s Omni that is the freaky closeted pedophile. :wink:

4

I have gotten hit on twice in the last couple of months by scary old men in grocery stores.

5

In the words of L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg, “Weird. Eerie.”

A couple of New Years Eves ago, two of my friends and I attended the First Night festivities in a local city. Around 10pm, we stopped at our favorite pizza place to grab a bite to eat. While waiting at the counter, one sort of unbalanced looking male employee starting asking us whether we had boyfriends, that sort of thing. He noticed our First Night buttons (which allowed us to get into the various activities), and started asking us where we were going to be throughout the rest of the evening. Not wanting to get involved with this guy or be followed by him, we said that we were just going to play it by ear. His leering response, “Well, uh, why don’t you come back after midnight, and I’ll, you know, buy those buttons off of you?” Ick, ick, ick. We paid for our calzones, rushed out into the throngs of festivity-goers, and didn’t look back.

There’s also this creepy guy at the place where I used to go swing dancing. He’s probably in his late forties, really tall and thin, and always wears these short shorts and t-shirts cut off to show his midriff. That in and of itself isn’t creepy, but the only people he’ll ask to dance are the young teenage girls. One time, while my sister was dancing with him, she started to move away a few beats before the end of the song. He told her, “Always look like you’re enjoying yourself. The dance isn’t over until the music stops” Needless to say, I kept her well within my sight for the rest of evening.

6

you know, BlackKnight, maybe he was just a lonely weird guy? you raised the idea that he might have been mentally disabled in some way… in my experience, many people that are mentally disabled don’t seem to have the same social inhibitions as many people. there was a guy that moved to my town in my senior year of high school, and i don’t know what his deal was, but he was a little “slow,” and he was exceedingly friendly. at first it creeped me out, but as i saw him around more often (and he waved hello to me almost every single day on my way to school, without ever having met him), i got used to it. and at my class’ senior banquet, he came over to the table my friends and i were sitting at, sort of hesitated, and finally i asked him to sit down. he was fascinating. definitely one of the most interesting conversations i had that night. the point is, give people a chance, unless you really feel like you are being threatened, there’s no reason to clam up and get hostile, really, is there? maybe this dude was just trying to make small talk and the only topic of conversation he could come up with was kind of inane.

IMO, you very rarely lose anything by making “nice” your default attitude.

7

Wrong. Making “nice” your default attitude can get you mugged, raped or killed. This is not to say that your default attitude should be rude, but more along the lines of “cautiously skeptical”.

8

Ahhhh! Somebody else who thinks shaved heads make people look like mental patients! And not nice ones, like we have here. The sociopathic ones.

9

I’d just like to say that I was recently hit on by a couple old men that were apparently trying to pick me up, frankly it scared the hell out of me. Being that I’m only in high school, and being hit on by 40 year old men…I don’t know something about it just isn’t right. I was walking alone down a small strip center when they pulled up beside me, meybe its just me but I was pretty scared. Just thought I’d share. yuk!

10

Crash,

Send the 40 year old men to me - I’m 35. :wink: The scary old men that hit on me in the grocery store were around 75.

11

I think there is a difference between nice and naive. Not being polite to strange people when in a populated area such as a dance floor is just snobbery. Not talknig to people on the way to your car afterwards is understandable. I suppose you could assume that any weird guy that hits on you in a club is going to follow you and rape you, but there is the same chance it’s going to be the guy you snub that’s going to be offended and do it. Anyways, if people started to refuse to talk to strange guys in clubs, I never would have been able to hook up…

There are some screwed up people out there, but I think most fall into the weird category. And the weird category is where all the interesting people are.

12

It usually happens while I’m waiting on the corner for the walk light.

Some creepy guy, looks like a reject from Deliverance comes up to me, asks my name, how long have I lived in town, and can he have my phone number.

Sorry, I usually don’t give my phone number to skeevy guys who haven’t bathed in a month and haven’t brushed their teeth since the baby ones fell out. Especially when they eye me like they’re sizing me up to see if I’ll fit in the freezer…

13

Pop: (noun) 1) Your father. 2) A loud noise, usually from an inflated balloon being rapidly deflated.

Soda: (noun) 1) A carbonated, delicious beverage, not to be known as “pop”, as it is in some heathen circles. 2) A salty powder used for a variety of things.

14

No, seriously, it was a title given to me by my best friend. Give me your skeevy, your sketchy, your smelly. They will invitably sidle up to me in the coffeehouse, the library, the grocery store. SisterRiddles and I had to flee a coffeehouse once while a skank who had interrupted our conversation to join it (evesdropping AND interrupting, AND skanky…gee, pass me some o’that!) went to get a cup of coffee. Nodded to each other as he left, grabbed our coats and skeedattled.

I can understand hitting on someone when they are alone, but when they are in midcoversation with another person? RUDENESS.

Re: the OP. He just sounds like a lonely guy. He didn’t exactly tell you that you had a nice ass, he liked your beard.

15

Hell, I had a palestinian (last time I was in Jerusalem) tell me I had a nice beard for a Jew. Becuase of that he would give me a real deal on this trinket…

I find it sad but understandable that talking to someone out of the blue would set off so many alarm bells. I live in a small town in rural Virginia and I would think nothing of striking up a conversation with someone out of the blue here. It’s a great way to meet newbies.

That said, years ago when Mrs Chance and I moved from the big city (Washington DC) to Iowa City for grad school we were terrified when the woman at the DMV (getting our licenses) invited us to Sunday dinner because we could tell her kids about the nations capital.

So I guess it’s all relative, eh Mr Einstein?

16

A lot of whether you get approached seems to be attitude and presence. My brother said there was a guy near where he used to work who yelled at people, but MB said he never yelled at people “under 50 or over 5’10”). The OP guy is probably retarded, not dangerous. I usually just act civil and like I have somewhere to go.

Then again, I’ve had people say they though I WAS one of those scary men…

17

I give you this example…

I work with the developmentally disabled… there is one guy I work with who usually scares people the first time they meet him. At 6 foot two and 240 pounds he can be a trifle intimidating but he is the world’s biggest softie. Another guy I work with is autistic and looks almost angelic. He is also one of the most dangerous people I work with due to unpredictable violent outbursts.

Appearances can be deceiving.

A guy I know is only a little bigger than me, he might weigh in at 160 pounds. He’s clean cut, neat and soft spoken. People who have trifled with him thinking that he was an easy mark have often needed hospitalization. He has no special skills, uses nothing but his hands, but when he loses it he says he just blacks out and doesn’t remember much afterwards. I try not to piss him off.

I don’t assume anything based solely on a persons appearance. Dahmer looked like the guy next door.

18

FTR, I don’t have a problem with shaved heads, for the most part. My brother has had one for years. It’s just that it does make one stand out, and it added slightly to the overall creepiness factor of the guy I mentioned in the OP.

19

I wonder where Governor Ventura was that evening?

20

Oh really? My Webster’s II New Riverside Dictionary lists “carbonated softdrink” as one meaning of the word “pop”. :stuck_out_tongue: