Normally I’m pretty intelligent and display some common sense, but for some reason I applied neither to my contact lens use. Instead of throwing out each pair after two weeks of use like I was supposed to, I kept wearing them till they got uncomfortable. That way I could go a whole year using the number of boxes my insurance covered. Dimly, in the back of my mind, I figured if it ever caused any problems, I’d stop doing it and all would be well.
WRONG!
Lately my lenses have been getting all gooey and gross, impeding my vision and feeling uncomfortable. So I went to see the doc.
He turned my eyelids inside out and took a look, and diagnosed me with the aforementioned giant papillary conjunctivitis. Basically, my eyes have started to have an allergic-type reaction to the protein and other stuff that builds up on my contacts, and the insides of my eyelids have transformed from relatively smooth and happy to bumpy and mucousy. By the way, the “giant” refers to the bumps. This must be the only time in recorded history the adjective “giant” has been applied to something .3 to 1 mm in diameter. Oh, and further by the way, I was surprised at how being subject to the descriptor “giant” bothered me. Oh well, I suppose it could have been worse - could have been a “giant” ass-related malady.
So now I will never ever be able to wear contacts regularly. Luckily, I can still wear them occasionally for short periods (once I get through a regimen of steroid eye drops and my eyes recover a bit). But I absolutely loathe my glasses. They slide down my nose, get grease all over them from my eyebrows and eyelashes (long eyelashes are nice, but this can be a drawback), and generally piss me off.
What’s that you say? Get laser surgery? If only I could! My pupils are too fucking big for laser surgery.
At least I’m getting new glasses that barely touch my face and have all the bells & whistles to make them more comfortable.
Still, I’m kicking myself. How dumb can I be? Did I really say to myself, “I want to save money, let’s see, how about I put my eyes at risk - they’re replaceable, right?”
Congratulations, Dummy, you get to be reminded of your stupidity every time you put on your fucking glasses.