Giant penis-eating worm found in UK aquarium

[D_Odds]

You can’t make this shit up! Giant penis-eating worm found in UK aquarium. Eunice aphroditois, also known as the Bobbitt worm - jeez, references to both Aphrodite and Lorena Bobbitt.

The Bobbit worm is among the longest worms in the world and there are reports of them growing up to three metres in length. The Bobbit tends to be nocturnal, lying in ambush in sand and rocks, like a living bear trap. It then snaps shut its deadly jaws on its unsuspecting prey!”

I am never going back to England, nor anywhere near the Indo Pacific and Western Central Atlantic regions.

[Koxinga]

The kind of stuff that’s kept Cracked magazine going strong on the Web since 1958.

[CalMeacham]

Is is a (Giant Penis) - Eating Worm or a Giant (Penis- Eating) Worm ?

or a (Giant [ Penis ) - Eating] Worm?
What kind of bait would you use to catch it?
At 39" - 10’ it would definitely make me think twice about skinny-dipping where it lived. Worse than candiru or alligator snappers.

[Chez_Guevara]

@D_Odds

I am never going back to England, nor anywhere near the Indo Pacific and Western Central Atlantic regions.

Relax.

The only dick in danger from the dreaded Eunice aphroditois is that belonging to the male, which the female bites off after mating and feeds to her young. So, unless you try to shag one of these worms, your manhood would appear to be safe from attack.

[tdn]

@CalMeacham

What kind of bait would you use to catch it?

Same kind of bait you’d use to catch a woman, of course.

Charm and personality.

[Smeghead]

@CalMeacham

What kind of bait would you use to catch it?

Master.

[D_Odds]

@Chez_Guevara

Relax.

The only dick in danger from the dreaded Eunice aphroditois is that belonging to the male, which the female bites off after mating and feeds to her young. So, unless you try to shag one of these worms, your manhood would appear to be safe from attack.

Not a chance I want to take! I thought England was a safe place. You had already shipped all your criminals off to Australia, and eradicated just about every predatory/poisonous form of wildlife. Then this thing comes along. At 39" it’s still almost 3 times the size of my penis.

[MeanOldLady]

I really wish this thread title hadn’t been hyphenated correctly.

[Duke]

Ensues?

/worm was here

[Malthus]

@MeanOldLady

I really wish this thread title hadn’t been hyphenated correctly.

Requires a comma to avoid hilarious ambiguity.

Or, why feigning fear of this worm may be a form of bragging …

[jjimm]

First it was tongue eating bugs, now it’s cockmunching worms.

Could today get any grosser? Don’t these things always come in threes?

[D_Odds]

The tongue-eating bug is in the UK too? Jeez, you’d think a place with no real tornadoes, hurricanes, volcanoes, earthquakes, or tsunamis, and a UV index in the negative numbers, might be a safe place to live!

[Miller]

@Chez_Guevara

Relax.

The only dick in danger from the dreaded Eunice aphroditois is that belonging to the male, which the female bites off after mating and feeds to her young. So, unless you try to shag one of these worms, your manhood would appear to be safe from attack.

Yeah, right. That’s what the worm wants you to think.

[Chez_Guevara]

Oops.

Here is the dissenting voice of polychaete expert Leslie Harris at the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles (bobbit worms are polychaete worms in the phylum Annelida).

First off, polychaetes don’t have penises or vaginas. Most of them are what we call broadcast spawners which means the males & females spew out eggs & sperm into the water. The eggs & sperm meet, the eggs get fertilized & start developing. There is no such thing as mating/copulation not do males & females come into contact.

I’ll be quite pleased if that’s true. I didn’t approve of the practice in the first place.

Link.

[Magiver]

@D_Odds

The tongue-eating bug is in the UK too? Jeez, you’d think a place with no real tornadoes, hurricanes, volcanoes, earthquakes, or tsunamis, and a UV index in the negative numbers, might be a safe place to live!

In England, no one can hear you scream when it’s got your willy.

[Inigo_Montoya]

@Duke

Ensues?

/worm was here

Well played!

I for one am glad I don’t have a giant penis.

[DMark]

@jjimm

Don’t these things always come in threes?

With this swimming near you, you would be lucky to come once.

[dhkendall]

@Chez_Guevara

Relax.

The only dick in danger from the dreaded Eunice aphroditois is that belonging to the male

I should hope so, unless the females have dicks too …

[Intergalactic_Gladiator]

@Chez_Guevara

Relax.

The only dick in danger from the dreaded Eunice aphroditois is that belonging to the male, which the female bites off after mating and feeds to her young. So, unless you try to shag one of these worms, your manhood would appear to be safe from attack.

I guess I’m safe…
… for now.

[jjimm]

@DMark

With this swimming near you, you would be lucky to come once.

Well there’s always oral… no, wait. Isopod got your tongue?