T-shirt idea - I think the front needs to be a picture of the sandwiches in the bowl while the back is a picture of Giraffe digging in.
As for slogans, I seem to be running dry on ideas, but how about something like:
Giraffe’s 1st Annual Sandwich Challenge: Urine Trouble Now.
Also, this thread has over 2000 views. I take that to mean that there are plenty of other Dopers silently watching this travesty from afar but are too scared to dive into the pool. I say it is high time you come join our debauchery. Heck, we even added a new member (nerissassippi) because of this.
Wait a sec…had anyone given any thought as to what kind of sandwiches we’re talkin here? Hmmm? I quickly looked, but I might have missed the post.
Are we talking PB&J? Maybe a Rueben? There’s always the trusty Club, or even the BLT&U(rine)…God forbid, Bologna? “CUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ Oscar Meyer has a way with Mullinator’s pee today.”
What kind of bread? That white stuff that will get soggy IMMEDIATELY, or maybe a good dark rye that can hold up to a soakin’? How about French bread and we can try to make yet another joke against them (I mean, it is SO easy)?
Mayo? Relish? Mustard?
Pickles, onion, salad?
Chips or fries? THAT is the question.
Will nerissassippi cut the crust off? Will there be a sandwish toothpick to help pick out the chunky bits afterward (Ewww!!!)?
Details people! DETAILS!
-Tcat
Mullinator, I agree with your idea for the shits, but that slogan is pretty bad. And since when is this “annual”? Does this mean we’re going to force Giraffe to do something absolutely rancid next year, too?
Not that it would bother me in the least, and it would be cool to have an Annual Giraffe’s Challenge, but that is getting a bit ahead of ourselves. It’s a whole year away.
Giraffe may not even be around by then. Maybe he’ll succumb to the ravages of some wasting disease from eating old lunchmeat saturated with urine.
Nah, on second thought that would be Ok. Then next year’s challenge would be “In the memory of Giraffe …”
You know, I did preview. I really did. Musta been one o-them Froodian Slips. Sheesh.
I’ll come right out and say that the only way this is going to be an annual event is if others follow in my footsteps.
Tomcat, I’m thinking of sticking with simple PB&J, on a nice multigrain bread. Whatever it is can’t be too filling. It’s my turn to cook dinner tonight, and it’s pretty much an unspoken rule that it has to be something better than sandwiches, even ones that haven’t been in the toilet.
Gorgon Heap your “slip” made me go :eek:. Don’t do that!
She’s still making you cook dinner after fishing 2 sandwiches out of a toilet? I’d have you off KP for a while, just to be safe.
It’s this lack of commitment that has crippled America’s cultural fabric.
I see. A fancy household. You probably even put your potato chips on the plate instead of eating them straight out of the bag, right? Snob.
Yes, fine, I’m here. Although I’m not diving into the pool, 'cause I’m sure someone has already peed in it.
No, no – I volunteered to cook dinner. I’m trying to balance my desire to impress my fellow immature dopers with my desire to not have my wife think I’m a total idiot. My goal is for her to walk away from this experience thinking “well, he may eat things that have been in the toilet, but at least he cooked dinner.” And then hopefully think about something else before the obvious connections get made…
carrot, you bet your ass we’re fancy. I might even get super fancy and light some candles before we eat. Nothing too complicated – just a couple of scented Yankee candles on the back of the toilet tank. Maybe put out the nice bath mat. You know, one of those special dinners that lets her know I care. 
Dare I ask if you brush after dinner? And if you bother to use the sink?
There’s nothing more important than good oral hygeine. Plus, it’s right there…
Eurgh…what are you eating, a meat pie floater? 
You all don’t think you have to force Giraffe to do this every year, do you? I mean he suggested this one himself - he’s pretty easy (and I would know).
The toilet’s been scrubbed by his truly. The Glad sandwich bags have been purchased. He’s in the kitchen making a PB&J sandwich right now (Details: 100% whole wheat, Skippy chunky peanut butter, and Smuckers 100% fruit jam in blackberry flavor). Now you just have to wait for the results… 
11:45 PM EDT.
Can we get you a tic-tac?
Sorry, it’s only 11:35. My toolbar clock is 10 minutes fast.
Enjoy the tiramisu…
Full Report:
Let it never be said that the Internet has not produced a single noteworthy accomplishment.
The sandwich making went smoothly. As nerissassippi already mentioned, I went with PB&J on multigrain bread. Half a sandwich per bag, as I wasn’t planning to eat the entire thing. (Not out of squeamishness, mind you, I just didn’t want PB&J for dinner.) I added a tiny piece of toilet paper to each bag, both for good luck and as an early-warning moisture detection system, sort of like a canary in a mine.
The bagging also went smoothly. I was pleased to note that the Glad brand sandwich bags I purchased have a new Double-Lock ™ seal. (They also came with free MadLibs. Score!) The Ziploc brand sandwich bags had no such double sealing technology, and thus I was a little worried about them. As a loyal Ziploc user, how had I gone so long with only a single seal? Did I really want only one seal between my food and the horrors outside the bag? We would soon find out.
The urinating was a little troublesome. I played three games of basketball at lunch today, in 99 degree heat. As a result, I was a little dehydrated. Never one to be daunted by such paltry obstacles, I drank four bottles of water and was back on track.
The sandwiches were tossed into the bowl. They floated about for a while, like an island of nutrition in a sea of urine. At some point, the cat came in to stare into the toilet, perhaps wondering what we had eaten to produce such unusual objects, and how she could get herself some of that. Beyond that, not much happened. The bags floated. We waited. Somewhere in the distance, a dog howled.
Removal was a little tricky, but no problem for someone who doesn’t mind washing their hands. The sandwiches were rinsed, and then carried out to the kitchen for inspection and subsequent eating.
“Why did you put those on our kitchen table?” asked Mrs. Giraffe.
My immediate impulse was to defend myself, but I quickly realized my position was indefensible.
“I don’t know. I’ll clean the table.”
The sandwiches both looked dry and, since I hadn’t yet had dinner, somewhat delicious. I took a healthy bite out of each one, pausing for the camera, and declared the 2003 Mullinator Urine Challenge to be a success. Both the Glad and the Ziploc brand sandwich bags kept my sandwiches safe from the urine in my toilet, and if either of those companies would like me to repeat that statement on a televised commercial, I’d be happy to do so.
Pictures and hopefully t-shirts will be coming soon. (Gorgon Heap, we should talk on email about how I can get 11 megs of files to you. I also want to request an XL and a medium t-shirt when you place the order.)
I will now sit back and wait for the admiration or, more likely, awkward silence that will undoubtably follow. On second thought, I think I’ll go brush my teeth.
I’m going to need a t-shirt. Definitely.
-Lil
You, sir, are a man among men. I raise a beer to the western horizon in your honor.
Can we forward this thread to the aforementioned companies for their consideration?