Part of me can’t believe I am starting this thread. The other part of me hopes it veers into strange and unspoken places.
Challenge Background - In this thread I mentioned my travails with dropping my cell phone in a urinal. The thread grew when others shared similar experiences. Giraffe shared his experience that involved dropping his wallet in an even ickier mixture of substances in the toilet. He then uttered the following:
I extended the challenge for other items, he accepted, and the worst contest ever was born.
So, I now appeal to you, dear Doper. What item that Giraffe could easily find in his place of residence should he drop in a urine filled toilet. All possible items are in play except for any type of living animal (unless perhaps his wife would really, really enjoy that sort of thing).
Make your nomination during the next week (ending June 19, 3:30 PM EST.) At that point, I will pick my favorite five and he will choose one item from among those 5 for the ceremonial dipping. He can feel free to take pictures of the excitement and I would be more than willing to post them on my website for all to see.
As an homage to a $10 bet on NBCs “Ed,”* I suggest the following be dropped in a pool of urine:
I want Giraffe to drop urine in the pool of urine.
*The bet was by Mike to Ed, wherein he bet Ed $10 to give him $10. Ed then immediately bet Mike to give him $20.
My challenge is for Giraffe to drop a urine sample jar in the urine-filled toilet, seal it, and ship it to me. I need a clean one.
Just kidding! I’m clean, I’m clean!
[sub]Just when you think you’ve found a new low, someone whips out a shovel.[/sub]
I think he should drop five twenty dollar bills in the urinal. Before he drops them in, he should write on each bill ‘I’ve been dropped in a urinal’. He should then go spend them making sure to give them to the cashier with the note clearly displayed.
Surely, hilarity will ensue.
You know, I think the execs at Fox might like this idea.
5 pounds of flour, sans sack.
A copy of Living History by HRC?
His kid’s retainer
High school yearbook
Looted Iraqi relics
Toaster (plugged in)
If Alex Trebek and Iraqi relics are commonly found in Giraffe’s house, well…
…remind me never to accept an invite to dinner!
How about some alkali metals like sodium. They blow up nicely in water so they should do the same in urine. I’m hoping that Giraffe is a chemistry teacher or mad scientist so he has these things.
This is a challenge? Good lord, if you supply me with some sodium metal or another alkali metal, I will piss on it and tape the whole thing! The idea is to find something that he doesn’t want to urinate on.
(I will pee on the sodium from an elevated position, say the roof of a house)
Or, if yer feeling especially brave, your wife’s pillowcase.
His Mom’s dentures.
Any First Edition book he owns.
His Clearasil pads.
His TV/DVD/Stereo remote.
Wait, wait, wait. What exactly do I get out of all this? Bragging rights? The respect of a bunch of people I’ll probably never meet? A urine-soaked object?
Sounds good to me. Let the games begin!
However, I think there should be a criteria for toilet dippability. So far in this thread I’ve seen several themes: grossness, hilarity, and likelihood of getting me in trouble with Mrs. Giraffe. I’m OK with the first two, but the third is right out. I’m already lucky to have Mrs. Giraffe – no need to rock that boat. (It may already be too late once I tell her about this thread…)
Your favorite sandwich, one in a in a Ziploc sandwich bag, and one in a Glad sandwich bag. Let it float for half an hour, retrieve bags, eat the sandwiches, and report back to this thread which brand of sandwich bag protected the contents better.
In the interest of fairness & to placate all the protesters who never got revenge for Andre Serrano’s 1987 Work - Piss Christ, I recommend you drop a jar of urine with a crucifix in it into a pool of urine, photograph it and watch history repeat itself.
Yeah… Casey’s takes the ca…er… sandwich.
A copy of the song “You’re In the Money.”