I’m actually bisexual. My bisexual female friend and I used to have a relationship together and were friends with benefits until her new boyfriend came along. But she wasn’t my first snuggle partner.
The first snuggle partners I had were two of my siblings. My younger sister and I still snuggle together and play with each other’s hair while watching movies, although we don’t do it nearly as much as we used to (especially now that we live on the opposite sides of the country). I no longer snuggle with my younger brother, and the idea of doing it now does not appeal to me. In high school, I met my first non-relative snuggle partner, a gay male friend. He was like a teddy bear and we’d often fall asleep in bed together while watching movies. Together we met two females that joined in for snuggling. One of them convinced us all to go skinny dipping together and after that, I was fine with showering with them. When I moved out to California, I met up with a new group of friends and we’d skinny dip/shower together in coed company. I’m a bit of a nudist, which is not as sexual as most people think it is.
I love to snuggle, it’s so warm and comfortable. I like the feeling of being held or having someone massage my back. I don’t have a romantic interest and I am too sex scared to do one night stands or anything of that sort. To me, the touch of another person, the feeling of sleeping next to another is far more important than sex.
When I was younger, I used to snuggle/back-rub a lot more. I went to an all-girl’s high school and we were constantly giving each other back rubs, sitting right next to one another, and hugging all the time.
I’m not very affectionate with most people. I hate random hugs - especially people who hug you when you first meet them. I have a select group of friends - about 10 or so - with whom I am close enough to snuggle with only one of these people is in close proximity to me now, I have since moved away from the rest, although we will still snuggle whenever we have the chance to. Not all of my snuggle partners are girls or gay men, one of them is a straight male. I don’t snuggle with him as much as I used to because his last two girlfriends haven’t approved of it and I respect that.
Snuggling is very theraputic for me. My depression sometimes comes with random anxiety attacks and being with my friend is very calming for me. My advisor is trying to convince me to go to Cornell for my degree, but they’d have to offer me a lot for me to move to a place where I don’t have a snuggle buddy.
For those of you who can’t imagine having a snuggle buddy - have you never had one or did you just out grow it?
Never had one strictly in the snuggle buddy sense. Whenever I’ve just “snuggled” with someone, it’s been a man and it’s been a prelude to some more intimate activity.
To me, snuggling is sexual in nature (at least the laying down type), no matter how platonic your relationship with your snuggle buddy is.
Given your past relationship with your current snuggle buddy, I’m very suprised her boyfriend is cool with the two of you continuing to snuggle (unless he’s hoping to get into the action at some point in the future). I know if my boyfriend wanted to snuggle with his ex twice a week, I would so not be cool with that.
I’m not a really touchy feely person, either. I like to snuggle in the sense that I like curling up in my nice, warm bed with all my blankets and pillows and stuffed animals around me, and maybe a cat or two.
I honestly wouldn’t mind having a female snuggle buddy without sex benefits, BTW. I agree with kimera that the snuggling and drifting to sleep while holding someone important to you are far better than sex.
Never had one. Wouldn’t anyone who could “out grow it” be able to imagine it?
I agree with lezlers that snuggling is a sexual thing: to me, it implies either the presence or the possibility of a physical relationship. I’m not saying it can’t be different for others, just that I, personally, can’t imagine wanting to cuddle with a girlfriend or strictly platonic male friend. If I’m snuggling with a guy, I’m either sleeping with him or wishing I could. Snuggling/cuddling can be a benefit of sex, but it’s no substitute.
(I seem to recall a long-ago thread about whether we could date someone who wanted to sleep together regularly but not necessarily have sex … I was one of the “hell no” responders.)
I’m with fetus. There are studies that show that the affectionate touch of other human beings is important for mental health. I haven’t had that since I was a kid.
I used to be pals with a gal that used to snuggle me all the time - spoon right up when we were watching TV, stroke my hair, put her hand between my knees (I thought to keep it warm - I’m a walking furnace). I always assumed it was just innocent girl snuggling.
Then she asked me to join she and her BF in a threesome. Suddenly the snuggling wasn’t so innocent anymore.
So I don’t snuggle with girls anymore.
However, my girlfriends and I regularly put on teddy’s and have pillowfights…
Eh…you can be in a threesome with a girl and guy and not have it be homosexual. My last ex did (only before she went out with me, AFAIK) although she actually was turned off a bit by the fact that the girl, a friend of hers, sort of tried to get in on some of her action too. But it can be done, anyway.
My girls friends in high school tended toward being very touchy-feely. We would spawl on top of each other watching TV, or during sleepovers, I guess you could call it snuggling. I don’t recall ever showering together, but I do remember sitting four -in-a-row along the side of the tub, shaving our legs. We would do the kind of thing where we would leave the water running in the shower and take turns hopping in and out – everyone stayed in the bathroom do manicures, put on make-up, etc etc.
I would characterize it as:
being very heterosexual
in large part necessitated by having a lot of girls who took two hours to get ready for a date sharing one small bathroom
Once I recall one of the girls dating a boy who expressed his desire that she not behave that way with her girl friends, and the response was along the lines of AS IF!
I wouldn’t characterize this as snuggling. Snuggling, in my mind is like spooning in bed. I can invision what you’re talking about and it sounds like typical teenage girl behavior.
I snuggled with my best friend for years throughout school. It was very innocent to begin with. Eventually we both got bi-curious and things went alittle farther. But I’ve never showered with a girl unless there was more intimate activity there. On the other hand I had other female friends that would snuggle with me when watching tv or sleep overs in a hetero context. Sharing the same bed is on the same lines as snuggling, it can be completely hetero and innocent or it could be a prelude to something more. Mostly in my experience though it has been more for comfort than anything else. Back rubs are the same. I’ve had completely innocent back rubs from female friends. Yet for me they tend to lean on the more intimate side of the scale unless they’re just the shoulder-rub over the shirt kind. But the backrubs don’t (for me) end up leading to anything they’re just a little more than just friendly. It does sound to me that the jelousy in the other thread was caused by more than missing.
Try having sex be a scheduled event twice a day, for about a week, each month, every month, no matter how you’re feeling. There can be too much of a good thing.
Spooning to sleep can sometimes feel like a blessed reprieve, I tells ya.
In college we’d all pile on the couch and watch movies, 4 or 5 girls. We’d go to the drive-in and park the truck and throw pillows and sleeping bags in the bed of it and snuggle in. My best friend grew up in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn and slept with her sisters until she was 15, three in a bed. I now work with women who massage your shoulders if your back hurts at work or run their hands though your new haircut to see how soft it is. Some women are just cuddly and huggy.
My husband wants me to film some of this at work, but he’s just a perv.
Like some others here, I consider snuggling to be a sexually intimate thing. Sometimes hubby and I snuggle when there’s not even any intention of sex for whatever reason. Hell, when we’re in the same bed, we never don’t snuggle. But platonic girlfriends? No. I’m pretty affectionate. Hugs are okay. Arm or hand touches are okay. Snuggling would just be weird, though.
