They would engage in it for the same reason they engage in any other activity classed as “harmless fun”, spouses do not need to justify their “harmless fun” to their partners, do they?
I don’t.
In fact I’ve explicitly stated in this thread I am referring to the majority of people who look disfavourably on their partners having sex with someone else.
At the time, but then the STD might get passed to the next person either of you have sex with, so you’re now affecting society as a whole.
What a peculiar, black and white world you must live in, CalD. Come join us in our technicolor society where people decide to do different things based upon their particular needs and desires. It’s nice here!
Lots of people DO continue, by mutual agreement, to have NSA sex with other people while they’re in a relationship.
Lots more, by mutual agreement, refrain.
In a relationship, it’s the mutual agreement that’s key. If the mutual agreement is to NOT have sex with other people, then you refrain out of respect for your partner.
If those who engage in NSA sex while single continue to freely do so after they enter a relationship, and all parties are aware that it’s happening and are accepting of it, then I see no inconsistency in their position.
Hence, I am not referring to those people.
Diana, all you’re doing is finding as many ways as possible to say “because that’s the way it is!”.
I want to see some justification of the position to remove the inconsistency. If people believe that NSA sex with multiple partners while they are single is ok, why does that change when they enter a relationship?
I am not saying partners can’t agree to it, I am asking how they justify it, and why has their attitude towards sex with strangers now changed from “harmless fun” to whatever they now perceive it to be?
None of which explains the stubborn insistence that women are somehow just NATURALLY less inclined towards sex for its own sake than men are.
Oops, double post.
Because the definition of “harmless” is “not hurting anyone”. If you have a partner whose feelings are going to be hurt, it ceases to be harmless fun.
You’re asking people to rationalize human emotion. Good luck with that.
They do if it eats into time they would normally spend together and their shared financial resources, and going to clubs and bars to meet people for casual sex would definitely affect at least one of those two categories.
Well, I think the couple you described are the sort of people who wouldn’t be in a monogamous relationship. Asking why two people probably don’t do something that they probably do do is what’s making me confused about your apparent failure to comprehend that not all relationships are monogamous.
Heh. Do do.
Thank you.
You’re welcome. Relationships are pretty much all about emotion. Most people realize that. Don’t let it stop you from feeling clever, though.
You’re floating around the point.
Let’s assume for the sake or argument that the spouse is chasing members of the opposite sex in otherwise free time, hence, not eating in to “relationship time”.
Leaving aside all the fuzzy love, commitment devotion stuff that you seem to be just ignoring.
There is the harsh reality that serious relationships are a lot more that just the sex life. They are agreements/understandings between that they are together in basically everything. It’s them versus the world. NSA sex mixed up in this causes problems with jealousy etc. and also can put relationships at risk by the sheer fact that the people are getting to try the other fruit and really see is the grass greener.
All that said there are lots of people who are in relationships and do carry out NSA with others, swingers etc. Also with the amount of divorce around it would seem that people really like getting their end away with other people.
Horses for courses. You seem to be coming at this in a very White/Black way and ignoring the huge amount of grey everywhere.
You have also moved away from your OP quite a bit without really addressing the multiple posts challenging the very concept of it.
can you elaborate on your rolleyes? what is your position on the thought process from a guy’s perspective?
Why do people keep pointing out that in relationships there are “agreements” etc that are made between the parties, and they can either choose to stick by them or not.
Wow, really?
My question is simple -> So many people were telling me that NSA sex is “harmless fun”. Well, so is going for a walk, listening to some music, reading a book, etc.
But when in a relationship, NSA sex seems to no longer be treated as a walk, some music or a book.
I want to know why?
From my observations, the guys that do this are only really thinking of one thing, not much else enters the equation.
And you assume that women are thinking of something different?
Because for the most part people can’t deal with their other half having NSA sex with strangers and also for the most part (while the relationship is working any way) they have no interest in NSA.
People change, situations change. I don’t do or like certain things that I loved when I was younger.
I used to love taking and E and dancing all night. Now I wouldn’t take an E or go to a club one way or the other. Is there anything wrong with E or the club from my present POV? No, not really, I’m just not into it any more but fair play to the people who do it. I hope they had as good a time as me.
Ummm, so do the girls who do this as well.
Oh and to actually answer you OP.
Yes we are and quite right too.
There is obviously a way to go as some people seem to want to put the fairer sex on a pedistile that men have created for them and hold them up to be judged as something negative for doing it.
Can you please expand on the OP. What are your feeling towards this girl. Why do you have a problem with it. Many have answered your queries, how about a bit of feedback from you?
You are muddying your own question. If I understand your multiple posts, the couple agreeing that NSA sex is okay - they are not at issue. Your question is solely about the others - the ones who have made an agreement that they will be monogamous, and have sex only with each other. In that case, if one has NSA sex, it’s a breach of their agreement. If they agreed to only go for walks with each other and with no one else, a NSA walk would also be a betrayal.
Is your question WHY some couples choose to be monogamous? That’s a pretty big leap from the OP.